"Will you be coming back home earlier today? I don't think your schedule is that busy!" She looked at her fiance she was supposed to have gotten married to when she had turned 18 but he has been postponing and coming up with a million excuses just not to get married or have a total commitment with her. He had a justification for his decisions, knowing very well she was at a disadvantage, but still, she could only understand him since she loved him.
"Who told you to go through my things? How do you know my schedule ain't that busy?" The man roughly yanked her arms away after she was done tying his tie and securing it; this had been her morning routine. Standing in the middle of the closet dressing him up was the only time they faced each other and the only time they could have a conversation.
Was he really that busy or he just didn't want to talk to her?
"I...." How could she deny something she already did? "When are you free so that we can get married? I am already at the legal age of getting married and getting a certificate doesn't take up to twenty minutes of your time." Yes, spending a lifetime with him was her only dream at the moment. It was her being a good mother and wife that mattered the most to her and nothing else. She was nervous inquiring even though she knew what his answers were already. But she just wanted to have a shot and probably she would receive a different answer this time.
"There's still time." Yes, he always would say that. He has never declined or told her he didn't have any plans of marrying her so she had hopes. He had always given her hope, hope to wait and wait until probably his goals had been attained.
"Getting married now or two years later doesn't make any difference right? Whether we get the certificate now or ten years, I don't think it would make any difference; if you are worried, I can sign a prenup." She only had an engagement band. He had slipped down her engagement finger; it wasn't fancy, and neither was that worthy of his status. He hadn't thought of getting another different engagement ring for her.
Did he think she wasn't worthy of anything? Did he even take her seriously? Did he really want to be committed to her for a lifetime?
"What's the rush? Can't you understand what kind of situation we are here? Can't all that wait? It's not like we are vanishing with time."
"The kids are still too young to introduce them to a new mother; just stay like the Nanny you have always been since they are already used to that, and we don't need to change it and confuse them. They recognize you just like that; I don't want to hurt their feelings and mix their little minds up. Let's wait a little bit."
"Once the kids have gotten used to your presence and grown, then we can see what to do next. So don't push it!" They have been engaged for the last five years and still, he gave her the same answer and the same excuse over the time again and again.
What were they going to get used to if they didn't for the last five years? If he had introduced her properly to the kids as his fiance and their future mother, they would have already been used to it! But what now?
Apart from being a nanny in this house, she didn't have any other title and identity, she couldn't even claim to be his fiance or wife as nothing was done formally. And she was realizing that she was a nanny to this family and nothing more than that. She wasn't heartbroken because she felt that it was too soon for him to forget about his deceased wife, who was her sister. She didn't mind giving him time.
Even though she understood, she felt bitter deeper down in her heart, "Are you coming back home earlier than usual?" She couldn't force anything apart from being patient and waiting until his heart was at least warmed up towards her; it didn't matter for how long, but she would be patient.
"I'm busy....." With that, Li Feng, who was already there, walked out of the bedroom and over to the sitting area before exiting. Shen Ruyi had gotten up early and prepared the kids. They were headed over to school, and what was left for her was loneliness and the cold, empty house that she would only end up walking around or probably going over to the garden working on some vegetables.