"Miss Lexi, are you really going to marry me when I grow up?" I asked, my voice laced with curiosity—and maybe a little bit of dread.
Lexi, walking beside me as we exited the king's palace, beamed at me with that mischievous smile of hers. "Oh my my, Ryuk! Are you that eager to marry me?"
No, woman, I am NOT! Well... not that I'd mind exactly, but—wait, no! That's not the point!
"Ah, no, no, Miss Lexi!" I quickly corrected myself, waving my hands frantically.
Lexi pouted dramatically, placing a hand over her heart. "Oh, you're hurting my feelings, Ryuk!"
What the hell?! Why am I the bad guy here?!
She leaned down, her face just inches from mine, her huge breasts right in front of me—Damn it, focus, Ryuk!
She flicked my hair gently, her teasing smirk never fading. "If you propose to me one day with a crystal-made ring, I'll marry you~" she said in a singsong voice.
HUH?!
My brain completely short-circuited. Woman, what kind of conditions are these?!
Well, it's not like I can't do that… but wait—I can marry Lexi?!
No, no, no—I have Sylphiy! I can't do that!
…Wait. It's not like I had anything with her in my last life. Or with anyone, for that matter… and hold on—men can marry up to twelve wives.
…So, technically, I could consider it.
Lexi as my wife, huh? Hehe… hehehe…
Before I realized it, my mouth started drooling.
Lexi chuckled, her eyes sparkling with mischief. "Oh my~ naughty Ryuk, what are you thinking?" She leaned in closer, her warm breath tickling my ear. "Hm? You perv! Are you imagining something sinful about me? Kyaha~!! Such a naughty boy!"
Wha—NO! WOMAN, STOP TEASING ME!!
Whoaaa!!!
Before I could process anything, the entire city of Aetherwyn lurched downward. The once-floating kingdom was falling—fast!
"Ahhh!! What's going on!?" Lexi shouted, instinctively grabbing me tightly.
Soft. Warm. Suffocating.
Her very generous chest was smothering my face.
Ahh, heav—NO, NO, NO! NOT THE TIME, RYUK!!
I flailed my arms, struggling to push away intrusive thoughts. The entire kingdom is crashing! Focus!!
I forced my mana senses outward—something was wrong with the city's core magic. If I didn't act fast… Aetherwyn was doomed!
"Alright, imma do something!" I yelled, planting my hand firmly on the ground.
I poured my mana into the city's foundation, sending waves of pure energy deep into Aetherwyn's magic core. The unstable mana flow twisted, churned… then snapped back into balance.
The city's descent slowed… then stopped… and finally, Aetherwyn began to rise again.
"Phewww…" I sighed in relief as the kingdom floated back to its rightful place in the sky.
"Ryuk…" Lexi blinked at me in awe. "You—you just saved the entire kingdom! Again!!"
"Yeah, yeah, no big deal," I muttered, waving my hand dismissively. Inside, though? I REALLY gotta stop fixing major disasters! My NPC life is hanging by a thread!
The royal guard came running toward us, his armor clanking with each step.
"Lord Ryuk! Miss Lexi! The king has summoned you two at once!"
"…Lord?" I blinked. Since when did I become a lord?! Nooo, nooo, this is bad! First, I'm getting noble status, then a mansion, now a title?! My NPC life is officially dead!
Lexi just giggled beside me. "Oh my my, Ryuk~ You keep doing such amazing things. Of course, His Majesty would want to see you again!"
"Noooo!" I internally screamed.
And more importantly—why does the king have no other work than constantly meeting a three-year-old?!
As we stepped into the king's personal meeting room again, I already had a bad feeling. The king sat there, looking all serious, which meant trouble.
"Miss Lexi, our kingdom is in danger, and I want you to protect it," he said gravely.
Lexi placed a hand on her chest and nodded. "Anything for the kingdom, my king!"
The king smiled. "Well, you see... I kinda forgot to replace the core crystal that keeps Aetherwyn flying. Haha."
"It actually needs to be replaced every 100 years, and, uh… the last time it was done, I was a kid, and my father took care of it. So, I just... forgot to do it. Haha, my bad."
…Wait. Wait. WAIT. IS THIS KING SERIOUS?!
I stared at him, my mind breaking apart.
Who made you king, old man?! Who let this guy rule a floating kingdom?! What kind of Alzheimer's do you have?!
"Oh, it's totally normal," Lexi said with a smile.
NORMAL?!
What part of this is normal?! I snapped, looking around in disbelief.
Seriously, are these people for real?! Am I the only sane person here, or is everyone else just incredibly dumb?!
The king just shrugged. "Well, it happens."
IT HAPPENS?!
I swear, either I'm the idiot here, or this entire kingdom is filled with absolute lunatics!
"So, what do I have to do, my king?" Lexi asked, standing confidently.
The king leaned forward with a casual smile. "You need to retrieve a new core for Aetherwyn from Stellathorne."
No. No. No. No. WAIT!
Stellathorne—a celestial garden where astral plants and luminescent minerals hold untapped arcane power. That Stellathorne.
My mind raced as a horrifying realization hit me. That's where the Holy Miracle Rain incident happened in my past life! The one event I swore I would avoid at all costs!
But… wait. I was four years old when it happened last time, and it's currently the Lunara month, which means… I still have six months before I turn four.
No, no, no! Even if I wanted to avoid this fate, I already messed with the timeline by summoning Noya earlier! There's no telling what other events I've accidentally changed!
"Thanks to Ryuk, his mana has stabilized the core for another year! But we still need a new one," the king said. "Lexi, take Ryuk, the royal guards, and all necessary provisions, and retrieve the core from Stellathorne."
Lexi saluted proudly. "I'll leave right away, my king! And there's no need for the royal guards—Ryuk is with me, and that's more than enough!" she added with a smug look.
NO, WOMAN! STOP FLEXING ME!!!
I need a plan. A solid, foolproof plan to escape this journey!!!
As we stepped out of the king's palace, Lexi practically bounced with excitement.
"Stellathorne!!! Ahhh, not everyone gets to go there, Ryuk! Do you know how much of an honor this is? It's supposed to be breathtaking! A celestial garden filled with astral plants and glowing minerals… Ahhh, let's hurry and pack our things!" she chirped as we walked to our "free mansion."
As soon as we arrived, she started packing enthusiastically.
I need a plan. A solid, foolproof plan.
Oh! Idea!
"Ahh! Etta etaa taa!!!" I cried out, clutching my stomach. "Ahh, it hurts! My stomach! Miss Lexi, I think I'm sick… I can't go with you!"
Lexi didn't even turn around. She just kept packing, completely unfazed.
"Ryuk, you have nature magic. You can't get sick," she said matter-of-factly.
Tch. Damn it. That was my best excuse! I need another plan.
"Ahh! I'm on periods!!" I blurted out.
Wait.
What the hell kind of excuse was that!?
Lexi finally turned around, arms crossed, staring at me with a mix of amusement and disappointment.
"Ryuk, first of all, you're a boy. Second, you're three. At least come up with a believable excuse if you're going to try and ditch me," she said with a smirk.
I just sighed in defeat and nodded. There's no escaping this, is there…?
Lexi, with her dramatic flair, placed a hand on her forehead as if she were about to faint. "Oh my, oh my! Have you grown bored of me already, Ryuk? Do you hate the idea of traveling with me that much?!" She gasped before shooting me a teasing grin. "What do I do to keep you interested in me? Is it my body I have to offer you?!"
My brain short-circuited. HELLO?! I'M THREE!
"Stop saying such dangerous things! People will misunderstand!" I yelled, face burning.
Lexi just laughed, patting my head. "Hehe, so cute~ But you're still coming with me!"
Tch. Why does it feel like I lost again…?