[This chapter is heavenly divine—so divine it might just bless your soul.
I hope you're 13+… or else, well—haha, oops.]
Gruhh... I almost lost my mind back there. My head still spinning, heart still thumping like a tribal drum.
If I knew I could really ask anything… I would've—
No. No regrets. Sketching was still a win. A small, precious, skin-blessed win. Besides… tomorrow, I get the front view. All in the name of art. Hehe… hahaha… HAHAHA.
"I'll act calm. Totally calm. Like a real artist. A serious, composed, absolutely-not-drooling artist. Yeah… just stare—I mean sketch… SKETCH!"
I lay back on the grass outside the tent, hands behind my head, trying to slow down my brain that was clearly on a rollercoaster of divine chaos.
Meanwhile, the bear lay next to me, snoring like a dying trumpet, unaware of the world.
"Even you sleep better than me tonight, huh, you oversized potato…"
The moon was bright, the stars sparkled, and somewhere in the distance a wolf howled—probably judging me.
Tomorrow's gonna be legendary… or lethal. One of the two.
"Ryuk! Come here for a sec!" Lexi called out from inside the tent.
Eh? Eh eh ehhh?? Wait… Did she change her mind?! Am I—am I getting something right now?!
Heart pounding like a tribal war drum, I practically teleported inside the tent.
And there she was… standing with her back toward me, trying to reach the zipper of her nearly see-through nightgown. The silky fabric clung to her curves like it had no shame—meanwhile, I was the one dying from shame. And excitement. Mostly excitement.
"Ryuk… can you help me zip this up?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder with the calmest face in the world while I stood there like a short-circuited squirrel.
Danm this lady's gonna explode my 3-year-old heart.
I slowly stepped forward, hands trembling like I was defusing a bomb.
"O-of course, miss Lexi. Allow me to help you… zip."
Because in moments like this, even gods go silent. And sketching? That was child's play compared to this.
As I stepped closer, the scent of her hair hit me—soft, flowery, like springtime just slapped me in the face. Her silky strands brushed gently against her bare neck… and dear gods, that nape. That dangerously exposed, unfairly divine, heart-melting nape.
I'm gonna die. I swear I'm not making it past tonight.
My hand hovered near the zipper, trembling like it was about to cast a forbidden spell.
"Ryuk!" Lexi snapped, not turning. "Hurry up and zip this up!"
"Y-Yes, ma'am!" I squeaked, sounding more like a squirrel than a hero.
I carefully grabbed the zipper, trying not to combust, and pulled it up slowly… way too slowly.
"Are you zipping or sculpting?" she muttered.
Woman, I'm praying for my life!
Just as I reached halfway up the zipper, my foot caught on the edge of the tent mat.
Uh-oh.
"Whoa—!"
I stumbled forward like a heroic idiot, hand still clutching the zipper like it was Excalibur.
Riiip—Zzztttt—Snap!
And just like that, the zipper gave up on life.
Lexi gasped as she spun around, barely catching the top of her gown with her arms, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed.
I, meanwhile, landed face-first in the pillow behind her, muffling my own death scream.
"RYUK!!" she shouted.
I peeked up slowly, eyes barely visible over the edge of the pillow, praying for mercy from all twelve gods.
She held the gown together with one arm, the other on her hip. "You broke the zip!!"
"I-I swear it was the floor's fault! Gravity betrayed me!!" I panicked.
"Oh no no no," she grinned dangerously, eyes glinting, "You're totally paying for this. What happened to that 'gentleman' from earlier, hmm?"
"I think he died the moment the zipper did," I whimpered.
She knelt beside me, still holding the dress up like a towel at a hot spring. "You're lucky I have quick reflexes… or else you'd have seen something too divine for your little heart to handle."
Too late, I thought, my soul's already left the tent.
"Now," she smirked, "what are you going to do to fix this, little zipper destroyer?"
I dunno, maybe pray to the Goddess of Sewing?
I slowly sat up, trying not to look directly at her barely-contained divinity.
"Uhm... don't you have another gown or something?" I asked, desperately hoping there was a spare somewhere in her inventory of miracles.
Lexi gave me a look like I'd just asked her to wear a potato sack.
"I do have one," she said, adjusting her hold on the broken gown, "but I haven't washed it yet. You saw, there was no river while we climbed that cursed mountain, and I just took a very refreshing bath—do you really think I'm going to wear an unwashed gown over this clean, divine body?"
I blinked.
"…So what do we do now?" I asked, eyes darting around the tent like I'd find a miracle in a corner.
She shrugged, smug. "I don't know. You broke the zip, you figure it out."
"I don't even know how to sew! I'm not a goddess of tailoring!"
My eyes suddenly lit up.
"Wait… What if… I make you a gown?"
Lexi raised an eyebrow, clearly both curious and amused. "You? Gonna design fashion for a goddess-tier lady like me?"
"Hey! I might not know sewing," I puffed my chest proudly, "but I know style! How hard can it be to make a gown out of… um…"
I looked around the tent.
"…bear fur? Leaves? Campfire smoke?"
Lexi laughed, full and melodic.
"Well then, little tailor Ryuk," she teased, walking closer, "Let's see what you can come up with before I run out of patience… or cloth."
Oh gods… I'm so gonna die designing this gown.
I looked around and spotted the only thing remotely gown-ish—Lexi's long, silky shawl she'd tossed aside earlier. It shimmered under the candlelight like moonlight on water.
Okay okay… I can do this. Just a basic wrap dress, Ryuk. Nothing fancy. She just needs something to wear. Focus.
I picked it up, turned to her, and cleared my throat. "Uhm… Miss Lexi, can you please stand up? I-I need to take some quick measurements… y'know, for the gown!"
She smirked, holding her barely closed gown with both hands. "Oho~ getting serious, are we?"
"No funny business! This is pure craftsmanship! Tailor and client!"
"Sure~"
She stood up slowly, and my eyes nearly popped out of my skull. The gown she was barely holding together swayed with her every move, revealing dangerously divine glimpses—long legs, smooth skin, curves that defied anatomy class.
WHY is she built like a goddess when I'm built like a toddler!?
I gulped, hard.
"U-uh okay… arms up, please," I mumbled, eyes fixed straight at the tent wall behind her.
"Ryuuuk~ Are you blushing?"
"N-no! That's the heat from the campfire!"
"There is no campfire inside the tent."
"Then it's... inner fire! Passion for fashion!"
She giggled as she slowly raised her arms, holding the cloth barely over her front. I stepped closer, the shawl trembling in my hands, sweat rolling down my back as I barely managed to measure across her waist.
Her voice whispered just above my ear, "You're very focused, Ryuk. Such professionalism… almost like you're not imagining this in slow motion at all."
"I'm not!!" I squeaked, hands shaking as I moved to her shoulders.
"You're adorable when you panic," she teased with a wink, "Now hurry up, tailor boy, before this 'tent' turns into your funeral."
I'm so dead. But what a way to go.
"A-alright…" I muttered, eyes fixed on the shawl like it was a dangerous beast. "Last measurement… chest... I mean bust—no, no, upper torso area. For tailoring purposes! Purely for symmetry!"
Lexi tilted her head, smiling like a cat about to pounce. "You mean you want to measure these?" she asked, and gently tapped the twins with the tip of her finger.
I nearly dropped the measuring cloth. She knows what she's doing. She's doing this on purpose. I'm not ready.
"I-it's for the gown! Precision matters! Fashion is art! No uneven seams!"
"Of course, Ryuk~ Be precise then," she said and casually loosened her grip on the gown, letting the cloth slide just a little lower.
Mayday! Mayday! This is not a drill!
I reached forward with trembling hands, holding the shawl like it was a holy artifact. "Okay... just going to measure... from here to—"
My fingers brushed her skin.
Mistake. Big mistake. Life-altering, soul-exploding mistake.
It was warm. And soft. Like marshmallows forged by divine silk. My nose started bleeding immediately.
"H-hey!! You okay there, tailor boy?" she laughed, tilting her chest forward slightly, "You look like you saw the face of God."
"I have," I muttered, nose gushing like a waterfall. "And she's evil."
Lexi snorted and covered herself again, holding the measuring tape for me. "Here, let me help before your brain explodes."
"Too late," I whispered, crouching in defeat. "I've been spiritually KO'd."
She giggled, wrapping the shawl around her again. "Good news is, I'm impressed. Bad news is, now I expect this gown to fit perfectly. No pressure."
I was just trying to make a wrap dress, not survive a divine trial of willpower.
After recovering from a near heart-failure and wiping what was left of my dignity off the forest floor, I took a deep breath, picked up the needle and cloth like a battle-hardened tailor, and got to work.
"I am Ryuk Blackfyre. I have slain dragons, defeated demon kings, and now... I shall craft divine fashion."
Several awkward glances, a few accidental pokes, and one serious argument with a stubborn thread later, I finally held up the result of my labor:
"Ahem... Miss Lexi, your temporary emergency gown is ready."
She stepped out of the tent with a towel wrapped around her, raised an eyebrow, and took the gown. "Oh? That fast? Let's see your creation, my little fashion prodigy."
And then—
She slipped it on.
Silence.
The fire crackled. The bear blinked. The universe paused.
Because my "raincoat-style emergency gown" was less "modest mountain wear" and more... battle-ready goddess glam.
It fit perfectly.
Too perfectly.
The shoulder cut draped just enough to tease. The fabric clung around her chest like it was blessed by the goddess of curves. It hugged her waist tighter than my willpower and ended just mid-thigh,leaving those smooth legs utterly exposed to divine night breeze.
She looked at me, lips slowly curling into a grin. "Ryuk... what exactly were you thinking when you made this?"
I started sweating.
"I-I was thinking of... breathability! Movement! Aesthetics! Minimal material for optimal ventilation! It's... practical!"
She walked in a slow circle, running her fingers down her waist. "Mhm. Feels like you were thinking with your nosebleeds, not your brain."
I turned away before my soul left my body. "I just wanted to help! I swear by all the gods, I didn't mean to make you look like a cover model for Seduction Weekly: Adventurer's Edition!"
She laughed. "Well, lucky for you, I love it. And I might just wear it often… if my tailor promises to behave."
"Define 'behave,'" I mumbled, already planning my funeral.
I pointed at the fire, desperately trying to not look like I was about to explode from internal combustion.
"Our dinner is ready," I said, voice cracking like dry firewood.
Lexi smiled and sat beside me, and that was my fatal mistake.
Because the moment she sat, that perfectly tailored "emergency gown" I made — which honestly should win some kind of scandalous award — rolled up. Not a little. Not just flirt-level tease. I mean up-up, like it got tired of being decent and decided to join the rebellion.
Her thigh — no, her divine weapon of mass destruction — was now casually out there under the moonlight, resting just inches from my now-frozen soul.
I gulped.
She looked at me, completely unfazed, chewing on a perfectly roasted meat skewer. "Hmm? Something wrong, Ryuk?"
Everything, my mind screamed. Everything is wrong! There are gods watching! Probably even my mom from heaven! I swear I could feel Astraia facepalming through the stars.
"I-I-I was just checking the, uhm, the meat! It's not too hot, right? Gotta make sure it's... medium-rare."
"Medium-rare?" she laughed. "We're cooking over a campfire, not ordering from a tavern, silly."
Her leg shifted.
I blinked.
The meat fell off my skewer.
"Ryuk," she whispered, leaning slightly closer. "You're staring again."
"I'M OBSERVING," I shouted far too quickly. "F-for safety. I'm keeping an eye out for wild animals!"
"Hmm… and my thighs are the danger zone, huh?"
"I DIDN'T SAY THAT—"
She smirked, resting her chin on her hand. "You didn't have to."
At this point, I did the only thing a dignified ex-hero-turned-3-year-old could do.
I stood up.
"I-I think I'll go feed the bear."
She giggled as I ran off toward the half-sleeping potato of a bear, using it as a very large and furry shield.
Behind me, I heard her call out, "Don't take too long, Ryuk! The moon's still high, and so is my appetite…"
I swear, if I survive this journey, it'll be a miracle worthy of the history books.
After somehow surviving dinner without a divine thunderstrike or spontaneous combustion, I plopped down beside the bear, using it as both a pillow and emotional support creature. The night air was cool, the fire crackling, and for a moment... peace.
But that peace didn't last long.
"Ryuk~" Lexi called from the tent in a sing-song voice.
Uh-oh.
I peeked up from behind the bear. She was leaning out of the tent flap, moonlight gleaming off her still-too-tight-for-comfort emergency gown. Her hair gently flowed in the breeze, and her smile was just soft enough to make a man question all his morals.
"Come on, little hero," she said sweetly, "We've got a long trek tomorrow down the mountain. Let's sleep early, okay?"
"Eh!? Together?"
"Of course. It's a small tent. Did you think I was going to sleep out here with the bear?"
Honestly, at this point, I wouldn't put it past myself.
"I-I'll be right there!" I said, practically tripping over my own legs as I rushed to my fate.
As I entered, the warmth of the tent wrapped around me, along with the soft scent of her freshly washed hair.
She had already laid down, her side of the bedroll spread out, leaving just enough room for me beside her.
I hesitated.
She patted the space. "Don't make me drag you, Ryuk. I know you're brave enough to fight demon kings, but too scared to share a tent with a lady?"
Oh no, she hit me with the pride bait!
Without another word, I carefully lay down beside her, keeping my hands to myself, my thoughts to myself, and my heart from trying to jump out of my chest.
The tent fell into silence, only the soft sounds of the wind outside and the crackling fire in the distance.
Then... her voice.
"Ryuk?"
"Y-Yeah?"
"I'm glad you're here with me."
And just like that, I forgot all about the chaos and thigh attacks.
"...Yeah. Me too, Lexi."
Midnight.
The forest around us was silent… too silent. Not a single owl hoot or rustling leaf. Just the faint crackle of dying embers and—
"Mmm…"
The sound of trouble.
I blinked open in the dim moonlight seeping through the tent fabric.
At first, I couldn't breathe.
Not because I was startled.
Because Lexi. Was. Hugging. Me.
Tightly.
Like tightly tightly.
"Gah—mmph!!" My face was buried somewhere between her neck and—uh—definitely dangerous territory.
And that's when I noticed.
The gown.
My DIY masterpiece.
It had… surrendered.
The zipless, clumsily sewn-together excuse of a gown had given up its will to stay whole. One lazy thread at a time, it had unraveled during her sleep. The shoulder wrap had slipped halfway off, her thigh had gone rogue again, and the front… yeah, the front was wide open like a cursed treasure chest.
"I'm gonna die. This is it. This is divine punishment for asking for 'anatomy knowledge'…"
She snuggled closer, wrapping one leg around me.
"I'm going to reincarnate again at this rate!"
Sweat rolled down my face, and I couldn't even wipe it because God forbid I move my hands and end up accused of something I hadn't even done (yet).
I tried to wiggle.
Big mistake.
"Ryuuukk~ don't gooo…" she mumbled in her sleep, hugging tighter and pulling me closer into the valley of doom.
At that moment, even the bear peeked into the tent, blinked at us, then quietly backed out like "Nope. I ain't getting involved."
I just lay there, eyes wide, brain screaming, body paralyzed. The longest hour of my immortal life.
"Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'm asking Astraia to send me back to the afterlife."
Morning.
Birds chirped outside. The sun peeked over the horizon. Everything felt fresh, peaceful, and calm.
Except me.
I hadn't slept.
Not a wink.
Because Lexi had molested me in her sleep. Okay, not on purpose, but her hugging, that traitor of a gown, and my poor, innocent 3-year-old body were not friends anymore.
And then…
The nightmare got worse.
"Mmm…" Lexi stretched, yawned, and then sat up slowly—letting the last remains of the 'gown' slip off completely.
She blinked at me sleepily.
I, on the other hand, was frozen.
Eyes wide.
Body stiff.
Posture of a traumatized squirrel who had seen the face of God.
Lexi looked down at herself, then up at me.
Then back down at her completely bare, goddess-tier body on full display in morning sunlight.
Then back at me—still frozen like an ancient statue of disbelief.
"…Ryuk?" she blinked, confused. "Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?"
I didn't answer. I couldn't. My brain had blue-screened. I just sat there, knees pulled up, pupils shaking like they were in an earthquake.
Lexi tilted her head, casually brushing her hair back. "Oh noooo~ Did my little Ryuk get… corrupted in his sleep?"
"I AM ALREADY DEAD INSIDE!!" I screamed in my mind.
"I-I-I swear I didn't see anything! I was blind all night! I-I'm legally blind!" I stuttered, shaking.
Lexi giggled and reached for the blanket—too late. Damage was done.
"Well, well, someone's turning into a little man faster than I expected~ You kept me so warm last night~"
"LORD ABOVE PLEASE STRIKE ME DOWN IMMEDIATELY."
She leaned closer with a smirk. "Should I reward my brave little hero for surviving the night?"
"I—I—I need to go… water the bear!!" I bolted out of the tent like my life depended on it.
From behind, I could hear her laughing. "You forgot your pants, Ryuk!"
"I FORGOT MY DIGNITY TOO, THANKS FOR THE REMINDER!"
Lexi stepped out of the tent, sunlight bouncing off her freshly brushed hair, and that ridiculously well-fitted gown I stitched last night… barely covering her thighs, still clinging to her every curve like it was in love with her.
And then she looked at me—the very picture of smug mischief.
"Ryuuuuuk~" she sang sweetly.
Abort mission. Abort mission.
I pretended to be busy poking the firewood like it owed me money. "Oh! Lexi! Morning! Haha… how was your sleep? Great weather today! Want fruits?"
She walked up slowly, stopping way too close. "Hmm? I slept wonderfully, thanks to my cuddly, tiny heater."
"Uh-huh-haha-coolcoolcool," I said, still not looking at her.
Then she crouched next to me, whispering, "By the way... why exactly were you so stiff this morning, hmm?"
My soul exited my body.
"I-I-I was cold! Yeah! Just... very cold—like stone-cold cold!" I said, sweating.
She raised an eyebrow and poked my cheek. "Oh, really? Sooo cold that you froze up with your mouth hanging open and eyes bulging out like a squirrel who saw the divine light?"
"I—I—I didn't see anything!" I shouted too quickly. "I was asleep! Fully! Deeply! Comatose even!!"
She gasped dramatically. "Wait… was I… naked???"
I choked on my own spit. "YOU—YOU KNOW YOU WERE!"
She laughed, clutching her stomach. "Oh my god! You looked! You totally looked!!"
"NO! No-no-no! It was the wind! The zip! The—I was tricked by fabric physics!!"
Lexi winked, leaning close. "So? How was the view, hmm? 3 outta 5? 4.5? Or divine 10?"
I covered my face. "I hate you so much right now…"
She giggled like a devil in disguise and stretched, letting that cursed gown slide up a little more. "Don't worry~ You'll see better someday. You're growing up fast, after all~"
"I'm gonna die before I even hit four…" I muttered.
"Let's eat something before we climb down," Lexi said, stretching with a cute yawn that made her already suspicious gown shift a little more than necessary. I gulped.
Then she casually walked over to a nearby apple tree and, for some unknown reason, decided to jump to reach an apple hanging just a bit out of reach.
Bounce.
My soul left my body.
Bounce.
I saw my past life flash before my eyes.
Bounce—
"LEXI FOR THE LOVE OF ALL DIVINE FORCES JUST LET ME GET THE DAMN APPLE!!!" I screamed, grabbing a stick and jumping for the apple like my life depended on it.
Too late.
As she landed with a proud little smile and her apple in hand, I was already in total system shutdown.
Her gown had entirely given up. The shoulder strap? Slipped. The front? Barely hanging on. Her entire chest bounced like it was reenacting a spring festival. She was practically Najeeb-level unleashed.
Lexi blinked. "Oh? What's with that look, Ryuk?"
I turned away like a vampire facing the sun. "My eyes… my soul… my honor… all gone…"
She peeked down at herself, then laughed as she tugged the gown slightly up—not enough to fix anything, but just enough to tease me. "Oops~ Seems like your gown design wasn't made for jumping. How naughty of you, Ryuk!"
"HOW IS THIS MY FAULT!? It was a last-minute emergency sewing job!"
She bit into the apple with a smile and winked. "You should've used double thread, fashion designer."
I buried my face in my hands. Why is my reincarnation like this?
Lexi munched her apple with a hum and glanced at the lazy bear still lying flat like a potato near the tree.
"Oh right, our potato bear needs breakfast too!" she said cheerfully.
She looked up at another apple hanging juuuust a little higher on the branch. Then she looked at me. Then back at the apple.
"No… don't," I said cautiously.
But of course, she did.
She jumped.
Bounce.
Slip.
Fwup!
Time stopped.
Her gown surrendered. Like completely. Like a soldier laying down arms and waving a white flag. It slid down like it was just waiting for this moment to expose her to the divine morning sun.
I stood there frozen, eyes wide open, jaw slightly unhinged, mentally screaming in 6 languages while my heart played its own funeral song.
Lexi landed like a queen, holding the apple triumphantly… completely oblivious to the fact that gravity just declared war on modesty.
"Here you go, Mr. Bear!" she said as she tossed the apple toward the overjoyed fuzzball.
Then she noticed me.
"…Ryuk? Why do you look like someone cast a petrify spell on you?"
"Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y—" was all I managed to say, pointing at her.
She looked down.
"Oh. Teehee~ Guess I went full nature mode," she said casually, placing one hand on her hip while holding her "traitor" gown in the other.
"YOU—WHY—PUT IT BACK ON!!" I yelped, turning away as steam literally shot out of my ears.
She giggled, pulling the gown up ever so slowly like she was doing it on purpose.
"Next time you sew for a lady, Ryuk… remember to test it with a jump~"
I covered my eyes (barely) and groaned, "Just change now, Miss Lexi. You do remember we have to climb down to where all those dwarves are, right? You need to wear something… better."
Lexi tilted her head, a teasing smile creeping on her lips. "Eh? Someone's being protective~ Hehe. You sound like a jealous husband right now, Ryuk~"
I stiffened. "Wha—No! Whatever! Just—just hold that gown properly! Your uhm… only torso is covered right now, and honestly, I think it's holding on by sheer divine will."
She looked down at herself, then at me, and smirked, clearly enjoying every second of my meltdown.
"Oh my my~ So you've been observing how much is covered, hmm?" she teased, slowly adjusting the gown in the most dramatic fashion possible—like she was on a fashion runway instead of the side of a mountain.
"I wasn't observing! I was just—strategically glancing to assess emergency wardrobe failure risks!"
She grinned, "Mhm, strategic glancing. Sounds very heroic of you, Sir Ryuk."
Tch. This woman's gonna be the death of me.
As she finally adjusted the gown—barely—and picked up her little travel bag, Lexi turned back toward me with that mischievous spark in her eye.
"Oh, and by the way, Ryuk…" she said sweetly, almost too sweetly. "You do know you'll have to take responsibility now, right?"
I froze mid-step. "H-Huh?? What… what responsibility!?"
She pouted dramatically, placing her hands on her hips (which did not help my self-control situation). "Tch tch tch. Don't play innocent. You've seen way too much of me. You've touched my back, measured things… sewn me a gown that fits suspiciously well, and oh! Shared a tent all night while I was basically—well, you know."
"I—I didn't even look! I mean, I looked but not like that—I mean I did but not in that way!!" I stammered, internally screaming as I desperately searched for a rock to crawl under.
Lexi leaned in closer with a sly smile, whispering in my ear, "You're mine now, Ryuk~"
My soul left my body.
"…Can I at least finish breakfast before being soulbound?"
"Ryuk… I've had enough of you running away," Lexi's voice was sultry, serious, almost trembling with fire. "You're going to take responsibility—right now."
She stood tall under the moonlight, and just like that—her gown fell to the ground.
I blinked. Once. Twice.
"Wha—Miss Lexi!?"
She grinned, eyes burning like wildfire. "No more running, Ryuk. You're mine now." She grabbed my wrist, yanked me into the tent, and before I could scream holy Astraia, I was shoved onto the ground.
"Ryuk… Ryuk… RYUK!!"
"H-huh!?" I gasped, sitting bolt upright—
Only to find myself lying on the grass, moonlight above, campfire crackling quietly nearby. Lexi's soft humming came from inside the tent where she was setting up her bedding.
…
It… was a dream!?
I looked down at myself, breathing fast, still in my tiny 3-year-old body.
Yep. Definitely a dream. A totally messed up divine prank of a dream.
From the tent, Lexi called, "Ryuk~ you okay out there? You're not falling asleep on the grass, are you?"
"…Nope. Just… getting fresh air," I muttered, face burning.
Damn you, subconscious. And damn you too, Astraia. I bet this was your doing!