Alright, that's it for the first day!" Lexi clapped her hands together, looking all too pleased with herself. "Hehe, you didn't manage to get your favorite spirit, huh? You're a pretty picky one, Ryuk!"
"Huh…" I stretched my arms, feeling every muscle in my back protest. "Ahh, meditation is so hard!"
Lexi tilted her head, an innocent smile creeping onto her lips. "Oh? Are you tired, Ryuk?"
I gave a slow nod, already dreading whatever was about to come next.
Her eyes sparkled with dangerous excitement. "Then how about we go on a small date?"
Huh? Huh? Huhhh???
"D-D-Date?!?" I almost tripped over my own feet. "Miss Lexi, are you messing with me again??"
Lexi giggled and winked. "Fufufu~ Who knows? But hey, you worked hard today, so why not relax a bit? We can explore Aetherwyn together, eat something nice, maybe even—" she leaned in closer, her lips nearly brushing my ear, "—hold hands~?"
SYSTEM ALERT: CRITICAL DAMAGE TO RYUK'S BRAIN. PLEASE RESTART.
I quickly turned away, clutching my chest. "I-I… I accept!!"
What kind of fool would refuse this? Even if it's a prank, I'm taking this chance!
Lexi clapped her hands together. "Great! Then, let's get you dressed properly. We can't have you walking around looking like a battle-worn warrior, now can we?"
Before I could protest, she grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the shopping district of Aetherwyn, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
...Wait. Why do I feel like this is just an excuse to play dress-up with me?
Lexi dragged me into a luxurious-looking shop filled with clothes made from rich fabrics. The moment we stepped inside, a shop girl greeted Lexi with a bright smile.
"Oh my, my! Lexi! Long time no see! Where have you been?"
Lexi waved casually. "Oh, just on a little journey~"
The shop girl's gaze shifted to me—specifically, to my hand still holding onto Lexi's. Her eyes sparkled with curiosity.
"My, my, Lexi… who's this little warrior with a wooden sword? Don't tell me… you've finally chosen your life partner?!"
"Pfffft—!!" I almost choked on my own breath. "L-LIFE PARTNER?!?!"
Lexi, on the other hand, just giggled mischievously. "Fufufu~ What do you think?"
The shop girl gasped dramatically. "Oh my goodness, Lexi! You're finally settling down? And with such a young, cute boy?!"
"H-Hold on! It's not like that!!" I flailed my arms in panic. "I-I'm just her student! A totally normal, innocent student!"
Lexi placed a hand on her cheek and sighed teasingly. "Oh, Ryuk~ You don't have to deny it so hard. You'll hurt my feelings."
HUH?! WHAT FEELINGS?! STOP PLAYING WITH ME, WOMAN!!!
The shop girl giggled. "Aww, he's so cute when he panics! I approve, Lexi. He'll make an adorable husband someday!"
SYSTEM ERROR: RYUK HAS TAKEN FATAL DAMAGE. SHUTTING DOWN...
And yes… I fainted. Again.
"Ugh… where am I?"
Slowly, I opened my eyes, only to see something round spinning above me—again. Wait… these ones are smaller?
I sniffed the air. Huh? The scent is different too…
Still acting dazed, I raised my hand innocently and—grab!
"Kyahhh~!"
A soft moan escaped as the shop girl jolted, her cheeks flushing. That's when I finally registered my situation—my head was resting on her lap. She glanced down at me, pouting.
"Ahmm… Mr. Ryuk, you do have Lexi, you know~?"
"HUH?!" My brain rebooted at 200% capacity.
I blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. Then slowly looked down at my hand—yep, definitely grabbing something.
I looked up at the shop girl's blushing face. "W-Wait, WAIT! This isn't what it looks like!!!"
Lexi, standing beside us, had the biggest smirk known to humankind. "Oh my, Ryuk~ First me, and now the shop girl? You're quite the playboy, aren't you?"
"I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!" I panicked, waving my hands like a broken windmill.
The shop girl giggled, adjusting her clothes. "Oh dear, Lexi, you didn't tell me your little fiancé was such a bold one~"
"F-FIANCÉ?!?!?!" My soul nearly left my body.
Lexi simply placed a hand on her chin, pretending to think. "Hmm~ Maybe I should keep a closer eye on you, Ryuk. I wouldn't want you charming every girl we meet, fufufu~"
NOOOO, STOP ADDING TO THE MISUNDERSTANDING!!!
And just like that, I suffered yet another critical embarrassment-induced shutdown.
Once again, I opened my eyes, resting on a soft lap. Round, round above me—ah, but this time, they were Lexi's.
I instinctively raised my hand, reaching out,
"Geh—!" I flinched as Lexi caught my hand mid-air, her mischievous smile glowing brighter than the sun.
"Fufufu~ Such a naughty boy, Ryuk. Were you about to grab something again?" she teased, tilting her head.
I turned my head away, trying to act cool. "Hmph. I don't know what you're talking about."
Lexi leaned down, her soft breath tickling my ear. "Ohhh? So you weren't about to grab me just now? Then why did your fingers wiggle like that, hmm~?"
"I—I was just stretching!!! Yeah! Stretching! You know, post-meditation muscle relaxation!"
"Oh my, what a convincing excuse~" Lexi giggled before booping my nose. "But enough about that, don't you want to try on some new clothes?"
I blinked , "Yeah clothes right?"
She nodded excitedly. "Of course! You can't just walk around Aetherwyn looking like a lost forest kid! We need to dress you up properly! C'mon, let's have some fun~"
Before I could protest, she grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the changing rooms. Oh no… I have a bad feeling about this.
"Ah, Miss Lexi, wait! I can change on my own!" I protested, trying to hold onto the last shred of my dignity.
"Fufufu~ But Ryuk, you faint so easily. What if you pass out halfway while changing? I should be here to assist you, right?" Lexi said with a teasing smirk, her hands already on my shoulders, pushing me towards the changing room.
"No no no! I swear I won't faint! I'm a grown man—err, kinda—just let me do it alone!"
Lexi pouted, crossing her arms. "Mou~ You're no fun. Fine, fine, I'll wait outside. But if you take too long, I'm coming in!"
Gah! That sounds like a threat!
I hurried inside and shut the door behind me, taking a deep breath. Okay… focus, Ryuk. This is just trying on clothes. Normal. Totally normal.
I turned to the outfit Lexi picked for me—aaaand why does this look so expensive?! Silk shirt, high-quality boots, a coat with golden embroidery… am I dressing for royalty or something?!
As I hesitated, Lexi's voice rang out from outside. "Ryuk~ Are you struggling? Need me to help~?"
"NO! I'm fine!" I shouted, scrambling to put on the clothes before she could barge in.
I finally managed to wear the ridiculously fancy clothes without any "help" from Lexi and stepped out of the changing room.
Lexi's eyes immediately sparkled as she clapped her hands together. "Oh my~! Ryuk, you look so handsome! If I didn't already know you, I'd mistake you for a young noble prince!"
The shop girl nodded in agreement. "Indeed! It suits you perfectly, Mr. Ryuk. Maybe Lady Lexi has an eye for dressing up her future husb—"
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" I cut her off, my face heating up instantly. "I-I'm just her student! This is just a normal shopping trip!"
Lexi giggled mischievously and leaned in close. "Fufufu~ You're so cute when you're flustered, Ryuk. Should I buy this outfit for you, then?"
I folded my arms. "No way. This probably costs more than my entire existence!"
"Oh, don't worry~ It's my treat." Lexi winked.
Huh?! Wait, wait, wait! She's seriously buying this?! And why does this feel like a girlfriend buying clothes for her boyfriend?!
"Ryuk, we need to go somewhere real quick!" Lexi said cheerfully, grabbing my hand.
I just nodded and followed her, but as we walked, I started recognizing the path. Wait… this road leads to the Duke's mansion. Why are we going there?!
A bad feeling crept up my spine. In my past life, I had no idea why, but that Duke absolutely hated my guts. Every time he saw me, it was like he was looking at his mortal enemy.
What's happening? Why are we going there? Am I walking straight into danger?!
As we stood in front of the grand mansion gates, a butler greeted us with a respectful bow.
"Welcome, Lady Lexi! Please, come in."
We stepped inside, and I couldn't help but admire the lavish interior—ornate chandeliers, expensive carpets, and walls decorated with intricate gold patterns. Yeah… still as over-the-top as I remembered.
The butler led us to a massive waiting room, where plush sofas and an enormous fireplace gave off a warm yet intimidating atmosphere.
"Please wait here. I shall inform Lord Reynard of your arrival," the butler said before disappearing behind a large door.
I gulped. Lord Reynard…
Oh great. Time to meet the man who looked at me like I stole his life savings in my past life.
I narrowed my eyes at her. Oh boy, here it comes... something is definitely off.
"Miss Lexi… why are we here?" I asked cautiously.
Lexi, in her usual cheerful manner, just giggled and tilted her head. "Oh, dear Ryuk, can you do me a favor?"
I felt a chill run down my spine. Yep, this was a setup.
"What is it, Miss Lexi?" I asked, already bracing for impact.
She leaned in with a sweet smile that somehow felt dangerous. "Just nod at whatever I say in front of Duke Reynard, okay?"
…
I squinted at her. Should I be worried?
Duke Reynard entered the waiting room with a composed grace, settling into the seat across from us. As the butler elegantly poured tea into our cups, the duke's noble yet gentle voice filled the air.
"Lady Lexi, where have you been all these months? I searched for you everywhere."
Lexi simply smiled, taking a slow sip of her tea. "Oh, I was just on a little journey."
The duke's gaze sharpened as he set his cup down. "I see… Then, have you come to a decision?"
Lexi placed her teacup on the saucer with a soft clink and turned to him with a playful glint in her eyes. "Ah, about that, Lord Reynard…" She glanced at me, her smile widening.
"I've already found my mate—my soulmate. Allow me to introduce you."
She reached for my hand, squeezing it gently before declaring with a bright, teasing grin—
"Ryuk. Ryukard Blackfyre—my fiancé!"
PFFFFFFFFFFFF—
I almost choked on my tea.
HUUUUUH?!?!?!?
I looked at Lexi with utter betrayal. My soul left my body, my brain shut down, and my spirit questioned its existence.
Duke Reynard, who had just taken a sip of his tea, froze mid-air. His noble expression cracked like shattered glass as he slowly turned his gaze towards me.
"...Excuse me?" he said, his voice dangerously calm.
I could hear the sound of my own heartbeat. This is how I die, huh?
Lexi, still sipping her tea like nothing happened, just placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled brightly.
"Right, my love?"
I had two options:
Say no and make lexi hate me forever and survive safely.
Nod like a clueless idiot and pray for survival.
So, with my life on the line…
I nodded. "Y-Yes...?"
I'm dead.
I don't remember marrying Lexi in my past life... Oh, forget marrying—I never even got the chance to date!
And what the hell?! This never happened before! First dragon slaying, now this?! Just how many secrets of my past life have I forgotten?!
Somebody, please—hand me the first three volumes of my last life! I only remember from Volume 4 onward!!!
Reynard's face twisted in disbelief. "Lady Lexi, what do you mean?! What about my proposal?! And—this is just a child!!!"
Lexi, still wearing that ever-cheerful smile, sipped her tea and replied, "Oh, my lord! Love knows no age! And you do know that two nature magic-blessed individuals can marry at any age, right?"
I nearly spat out my own tea. EXCUSE ME, WHAT NOW?!
"I don't... I don't accept this!! This child is not worthy of you, Lady Lexi!" Duke Reynard declared, his voice laced with frustration.
Lexi's smile faded, replaced by a sharp, unwavering gaze. "My lord, please mind your words. I will not tolerate any disrespect toward my future husband."
Wait, wait, why do I have a bad feeling about this?!
The duke clenched his fists. "Then I challenge your fiancé, Ryukard Blackfyre, to a duel!!!"
Lexi's grin returned, mischievous and confident. "Oh? Then please don't cry when you lose."
Wait, wait, wait—what kind of grown adult challenges a 3-year-old?! And Lexi, what the hell?! He's the Duke of Aetherwyn! I'd really like to leave this place alive, thank you very much!!! Somebody help!!!
.
.
.
And just like that, I found myself standing in the Duke's arena, staring up at the towering nobleman who clearly had way too much free time. The butler stood at the center, clearing his throat as he began explaining the rules.
"Ahem. The duel shall be decided by a single magic spell—whoever is forced to the ground first shall be declared the loser."
Oh great, a magic duel against an elite noble mage in a floating kingdom. This is totally fair.
I turned to Lexi, hoping she'd have some sensible plan to get me out of this, but nope—she just clasped her hands together, giving me that sparkly-eyed "pretty please" look.
Oh, come on, Lexi…
Before I could even sigh, the butler raised his hand.
"Begin!"
And that's when I saw it.
Duke Reynard started chanting. A long. Ass. Chant.
Oh crap. That means big magic. I need to do something fast.
Idea!
"Earth Magic: Mud Creation!"
I aimed my spell right beneath his feet—and just like that, the proud and mighty Duke of Aetherwyn slipped like a cartoon character on a banana peel.
THUD!
The whole arena went silent. The butler blinked, his face blank.
"...R-Ryukard Blackfyre wins…?"
A beat passed.
Then—
"PFFT—AHAHAHAHA!!!"
Lexi burst into laughter, clutching her stomach as she pointed at the duke, who was now covered in mud and looking like the joke of the century.
Well, to be fair… he kinda is right now.
Ah… Now it all makes sense.
This guy hated me in my last life.
Not because of some deep, tragic backstory.
Not because I did something terrible to him.
But because—
I humiliated him in front of his entire household when I was freaking three years old.
Yep. That'll do it.
Ah, finally! It's over. Time to get out of this floating land and never look back—
Or so I thought.
"I… I hereby reward Ryukard Blackfyre with one year of free living in Aetherwyn!" the duke declared, as if he had just granted me the greatest blessing of my life.
But my instincts screamed otherwise.
This wasn't a reward.
This was a trap. A big, fat, noble-grade scam!
As we walked under the night sky toward our so-called "free house" for the year, Lexi sighed dramatically.
"Ahh, Ryuk, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner!" she said, her voice laced with guilt—but also a little too much amusement for my liking.
I narrowed my eyes. "Tell me what exactly, Miss Lexi?"
She gave me an innocent smile, as if she wasn't about to drop another bomb on my already shattered past-life memories.
"Well… You see, this Duke Reynard guy wouldn't stop bothering me about marriage, and I really didn't want to marry him. Sooo… I kind of ran away on a journey," she admitted casually, twirling a strand of her hair.
"And then—boom! I met you!" she clapped her hands together excitedly. "And I thought, wow, what a perfect solution!"
I blinked. "...Perfect solution to what?"
"To my problem, of course! You're adorable, blessed by all seven gods, a total gentleman, and honestly, you were just too convenient to pass up! So I figured… why not? And don't worry! This will be our little secret."
She patted my head with the sweetest smile, as if she hadn't just used me as a human shield against a nobleman's marriage proposal.
"You'll forget all about it as you grow up, anyway~" she added cheerfully.
HUHHHH???
First King Arthur, now Lexi?!
What the hell?!
How many secrets got buried in the first three years of my past life??
Somebody seriously give me the first three volumes of my last life!!!
As we finally reached our so-called free house, Lexi stretched her arms and let out a satisfied sigh.
"Ahhh, what a long day! Let's get changed and sleep. We gotta start your training again tomorrow!" she said cheerfully.
I, on the other hand, was still recovering from the day's trauma.
Demon attacks? Check.
Forced engagement? Check.
Dueling a fully grown duke as a three-year-old? Check.
Getting scammed into staying in Aetherwyn for a year? BIG CHECK.
I sighed, rubbing my temples. "...Lexi, are you sure there aren't any more surprises waiting for me?"
Lexi tilted her head, pretending to think. "...Hmm~ Who knows?"
I groaned. Yeah, I was definitely doomed.
Lexi giggled mischievously. "Oh yes, there is! We're sleeping together tonight!" she said teasingly.
"Wha-wha-wha WHAAAAAT?!" My brain short-circuited on the spot.
And yes, you guys guessed it right.
I fainted. Again.