Slash! Slash! BOOM!!!
…Okay, hold on. How did my lovely-dovey journey with Lexi turn into a full-on demon massacre?!
I signed up for a magical adventure, maybe a few cozy training sessions, and a lot of Lexi's head pats—not endless waves of monsters!
Lexi and I had just set off on our journey, and our first destination was Aetherwyn—the legendary floating kingdom ruled by mages. To reach it, we needed to pass through this dense forest. But for some reason, demons kept popping up left and right, charging at us like I had personally wronged their ancestors.
And mind you, I haven't even revealed my aura!
With a swift motion, I dodged an incoming claw, slashed through a demon's chest, and jumped back as another lunged at me.
"Oh, Ryuk! You're so cool and dependable! You'll be the greatest adventurer—no, maybe even a hero one day!" Lexi said, watching me slay the last demon with a proud smile.
Hehe, maybe this isn't so bad after all… Praise me more, Lexi!
Wiping off the blood from my wooden—yes, still wooden—sword, I turned to her.
"Btw, Miss Lexi, why are we heading to Aetherwyn first?" I asked, sheathing my sword.
Lexi giggled. "Oh, you know, I am a mage master, and there's still so much magic for you to learn. Aetherwyn has many powerful spirits that help those gifted with Spirit Magic, so I figured it would be the perfect place to teach you!"
Huh. That actually made sense.
But first…
"Lexi…" I deadpanned.
"Yes, my cute little disciple?"
"Can you please explain why we were just ambushed by a horde of demons?!"
Lexi simply blinked at me with innocent eyes and tilted her head.
"Eh? I don't know! Maybe I accidentally leaked my Nature Magic while I was admiring the forest's greenery! Tee-hee~" she said, sticking out her tongue playfully.
Tee-hee, my foot! There's no way someone as powerful as her would make such a clumsy mistake!
Before I could even protest, Lexi suddenly leaned in.
"But thanks for saving me, Ryuk~"
SMOOCH!
She kissed my cheek.
And yeah… I fainted. Again.
You can't blame me for that! I spent 300 years fighting the Demon King in my last life—never got any affection, let alone kisses! And you don't understand just how beautiful my Lexi is!
And so, I blacked out once again.
Lexi giggled and caught me before I hit the ground. "Fufufu, Ryuk, you're just too cute."
I could hear her voice faintly as I drifted into unconsciousness… again.
....
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
WHY IS RYUK BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL?!
I DIDN'T WRITE THIS?!
IS HE BECOMING SELF-AWARE?!
OH GOD, HE'S LOOKING AT ME—PUT HIM BACK IN THE STORY, QUICK!!
(—An increasingly panicked author, realizing his main character might be too powerful.)
.....
Ahh… I slowly opened my eyes, blinking as my vision adjusted. And there it was—soft, warm, and familiar. Lexi's fragrant, pillowy thighs beneath my head. Oh? Looks like I got lucky again…
Before I could complete my "Where am I?" act and grab those two heavenly, soft, ahem pillows of divinity, a sharp flick landed right on my forehead.
"Ow!?" I yelped, rubbing the spot.
Lexi smirked down at me, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "You really thought I'd fall for the same trick twice, huh? Naughty, naughty Ryuk~"
Damn it, she saw through me?! How?! I was so smooth!!
Before I could come up with an excuse, she pinched my cheeks and pulled. "Honestly, what am I going to do with you, my adorable little perv?"
"Mwwy mmm nott mmw pervv!!" (Translation: "I'm not a perv!!")
She just giggled, letting go and patting my head. "Sure, sure, whatever you say, lil hero."
I hate that I lost, but also... why does losing feel so nice?
"Now, now, get up! We've already reached Aetherwyn!"
Lexi's voice snapped me out of my daze. Damn… I wanna touch her…
Reluctantly, I lifted my head from her soft thighs and got to my feet. As I looked down, the breathtaking sight below made me pause.
"Wow…" The word slipped from my mouth before I could stop it.
It wasn't my first time here—not even close. In my past life, I used to visit Aetherwyn as casually as someone visits the toilet after a meal.
Lexi chuckled at my reaction. "Hehe, cute! You look like a kid seeing magic for the first time."
I AM a kid, Lexi! Physically at least! But I won't say that out loud. Gotta keep my dignity intact.
I turned to her with excitement. "Miss Lexi, how does this place even stay up? I mean, I know magic, but still, floating an entire kingdom?!"
She winked. "Ah, that's a secret only true mages know. Maybe if you behave, I'll tell you someday~"
Tch, typical Lexi. Always teasing me!
Still, looking down, seeing even the clouds below us, made my stomach do flips. Even in my last life, Aetherwyn never failed to amaze me. It was like someone took a chunk of land, yeeted it into the sky, and then said, "Yeah, this is fine."
As I admired the view, my hand accidentally reached out towards Lexi's waist. Just a little touch—
Flick!
"Ow! Again?! How did you—"
She smirked, crossing her arms. "Tsk tsk, lil hero, you'll have to be quicker than that."
Damn it! She's too strong! Too skilled! How do I defeat this boss-level teasing?
"Now, how about you rest first? Or do you want to start learning spirit magic right away?" Lexi asked, her voice as smooth as ever.
I smirked, stretching a little before looking at her.
"Oh, Miss Lexi, I already rested enough on your soft, thick thi—uhm, I mean, I rested enough! Let's start learning!"
Lexi narrowed her eyes with a mischievous smirk. "Oh? What was that, Ryuk? My soft, thick what~?"
"N-NOTHING! I SAID NOTHING!" I waved my hands frantically, my face heating up like a furnace.
She giggled, clearly enjoying my suffering. "Fufu~ Well, since you're so energetic, let's begin!"
Phew, barely survived that one. Gotta be careful, or my soul might ascend before I even master spirit magic!
Lexi turned serious, raising her hand as soft wisps of light-green energy floated around her. "Spirit magic isn't just about controlling mana, Ryuk. It's about forming a bond. Unlike nature magic, where you sync with the world, spirit magic requires understanding and trust. The spirits are alive, and they choose their partners."
I nodded, determined. "So, I need to earn their approval?"
"Exactly! Now close your eyes, focus, and try to feel the presence of the spirits around you."
I did as she said, calming my breath. Slowly, I could sense faint whispers, tiny flickers of energy dancing around me.
"Good, Ryuk! You're catching on fast!"
Heh, of course! I may be a three-year-old, but I've got 300 years of experience!
Just as I started getting comfortable, I felt something strange—a small, playful energy nudging my cheek.
"Hehe, what's this? Did I already attract a spirit?"
Lexi blinked in surprise. "Oh my, that was fast. But… wait, something's off—"
Before she could finish, I felt something smack my forehead.
"Ow! What the—"
A tiny, glowing creature appeared in front of me, arms crossed and looking smug. It was a little wisp, no bigger than my hand, with a mischievous grin.
"Pfft—HAHAHA!" Lexi burst out laughing. "Oh Ryuk, it seems the spirits like you… but they also like messing with you!"
...Why does everything in this life insist on bullying me?!
"Ahh, I don't want this spirit! I want a female spirit! I hate this one! Shu shu, go away!" I waved my hand dismissively at the floating wisp in front of me.
Lexi chuckled, her voice laced with playful seduction. "Ehh? Ryuk, you already have me, yet you want another female?"
"A-Ah—bwah—wbah—wwah…" My brain short-circuited. Wait, wait, wait—what kind of tone was that?!
My face turned completely red, my body overheated, and—yeah—I totally fainted.
And before you say anything, no, you guys can't see the devastatingly seductive expression she made just from reading this text. You just had to be there…
.....
( WAIT, WHY IS RYUK BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL AGAIN?! WHEN DID I WRITE THAT?! WHO'S EDITING MY SCRIPT BEHIND MY BACK?! HELP—HE'S BECOMING SELF-AWARE!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE ERASED FROM EXISTENCE!!!)
...
Lexi burst out laughing as I collapsed like a puppet with its strings cut. "Fufufu~ Oh my, Ryuk, you're so fun to tease! Maybe I should make this a daily routine~"
NO PLEASE SPARE ME!!
Meanwhile, the tiny spirit that I had just rejected floated above my unconscious body, sticking its tiny tongue out. "Hehe, that's what you get for shooing me away, dummy!"
When I finally woke up, I found myself in the same position as before—Lexi's lap pillow. Wait… this is actually not bad. Maybe I should pretend to be unconscious a little longer?
"I can hear your thoughts, you know?" Lexi said, smirking.
"BWAAHH! I-I was just thinking about training! Haha! Training is great! Let's train right now!" I scrambled to sit up, trying to act like a respectable, hardworking student.
Lexi chuckled. "Alright, alright. Since you rejected that little troublemaker, let's see if any other spirits are interested in you. But be warned, Ryuk~ spirits can be just as unpredictable as fate itself~"
...That sounds like foreshadowing. I don't like that.
...
(Not again !!! I bet someone is messing with my script… Welp, time to go underground before Ryuk starts questioning reality!)
....