A week had passed since graduation.
I was sure things would finally calm down.
No more drills.
No more stupid bells.
No more pretending I cared about team-building exercises.
I could finally get back to what really mattered.
"Hot Springs of Lust: Volume 7."
Kasuma's adventures weren't going to write themselves.
But then came the notice.
VILLAGE TALENT DAY — ALL NEW GENIN MUST PARTICIPATE.
"Troublesome," I muttered, crumpling the flyer as Asuma-sensei grinned at us in the training yard.
"It's tradition," he said, like that explained anything. "Your team will perform something for the whole village. Helps build bonds and all that."
Ino clapped her hands. "Ooh! I'll dance!"
Choji's stomach growled. "Can we do a food-eating competition…?"
I buried my face in my hands.
This was hell.
Then Asuma added fuel to the fire.
"And Shikamaru… since you're the smartest, you'll be your team's coordinator."
"Why me?" I groaned.
"Because if I leave it to them, we'll end up with a musical bento display."
Ino and Choji nodded like this was perfectly reasonable.
I sighed, leaning against a tree.
In moments like these, there was only one thing I could rely on.
[Word Count Today: 3,200]
[New Fans: +43]
Nice.
[Fan Count: 9,144]
I wasn't far from my next skill unlock.
If I survived this idiotic event, that is.
Three days later, the village square was packed.
Banners fluttered, food stalls steamed, and every civilian and shinobi in Konoha gathered for the "Talent Exhibition of the Next Generation."
A total waste of a perfectly good writing day.
Asuma handed me a program.
I scanned it.
Team 7 — Dramatic Skit
Team 8 — Nature Poetry Reading
Team 10 — "Surprise Performance"
Asuma had signed us up under that.
I stared at him. "You didn't even check with us."
He grinned. "I like surprises."
I muttered something unprintable and wandered off behind the stage area to think.
I could fake a migraine.
Or invent a clan emergency.
Or… write my next chapter live on stage.
Actually, not a bad idea.
A Mind Clone could handle that.
No one would know.
As I was plotting, Kurenai-sensei from Team 8 strolled by.
She gave me a curious look. "You seem unusually… awake, Shikamaru."
"Talent day stress," I lied.
She laughed. "I'm looking forward to it. Oh — by the way. There's this amazing writer I've been reading. 'The Wanderer Old Hag.' Ever heard of them?"
My eyebrow twitched.
"I hear his stories are hilarious," she went on. "I swear, half the jonin are obsessed."
Half the jonin?!
Was that why my fan count kept spiking during mission briefings?
I coughed. "Never heard of him."
"Shame. You'd probably like it."
I wrote it.
An hour later, performances began.
Team 7 did some weird, overacted ninja love triangle drama.
Naruto forgot half his lines, Sasuke brooded, and Sakura cried.
The crowd ate it up.
Team 8 read terrible haikus about bugs and trees.
Half the kids fell asleep.
Finally, it was our turn.
Asuma waved us forward. "Knock 'em dead, kids."
Ino bounced excitedly. "Okay, okay! I'll dance, Choji'll eat snacks as background decor, and Shikamaru can… I dunno, stand there."
"Nope," I said.
They stared.
"I have a better idea," I grinned, forming a Mind Clone seal.
A shimmer beside me.
My clone materialized with a notebook.
"What's the plan, boss?"
"We're doing a live reading."
The clone opened the notebook and began dramatically reading from Hot Springs of Lust: Volume 7.
Kasuma was mid-bathhouse infiltration, disguised as a masseur, when twin rogue kunoichi demanded a foot rub.
Ino turned scarlet.
Choji looked confused.
The audience, however…
Laughed.
Giggled.
Jonin smirked.
Civilians cheered.
[Ding!]
[Fan Count: 9,207]
[New Comment: "Wanderer Old Hag-sama live reading?! Instant classic!" — SmokingKage88]
Wait.
The Hokage was here?!
I scanned the crowd.
Sure enough, Hiruzen Sarutobi sat in the back row, pipe in hand, chuckling like a teenager.
Asuma stared, eyes wide.
Kurenai's jaw dropped.
Ino hissed, "W-What is this smut?!"
Choji was already asking for the book.
By the time the reading ended, the applause was thunderous.
I bowed lazily.
Ino stormed off.
Choji asked if the book had pictures.
Asuma grabbed me by the shoulder.
"Where did you find that book?" he demanded.
I yawned. "Borrowed it."
He looked conflicted. Half furious, half impressed.
Asuma muttered, "The Wanderer Old Hag is a legend, you know."
I smirked.
"Yeah, I've heard."
[Ding!]
[Fan Count: 9,255]
[Skill Unlock at 9,500]
So close.
This village was a troublesome drag…
but sometimes, it was the best audience a writer could ask for.