Alt title:Sir, Please Stop Laughing at the Air
Scene:
The Ogre Chieftain charges again, roaring loud enough to rattle windows. Deadpool's beaten, bruised, one eye half-regrown, his suit torn up but stitching itself mid-fight.
The street is half-destroyed. People are watching from a distance—civilians, low-rank Hunters, livestreamers on rooftops.
Teen girl: "Did… did he just grow an entire arm back?!"Guy next to her: "Bro's healing faster than my mental breakdowns."Another Hunter: "He has no aura. No magic signature. Nothing. What the hell is he?!"
Deadpool, to himself:
"Alright, big green. No more Mr. Nice Merc."
He sprints in, dodging the Chieftain's swings by inches. Katanas flash. He's not overpowering the thing—he's outmaneuvering it.
A cut here. A stab to the side. A hamstring slash. Every move surgical.
He jumps onto the ogre's back, stabs both swords through the base of its neck, then flips off midair as the monster crashes down in slow motion.
[DING!]
Boss Defeated: Ogre Chieftain (A-Rank)
+2000 EXP
Level Up!
You are now Level 4.
Stat Points Awarded: +5
Next Level: 5500 EXP
Deadpool lands hard, rolls, then lays flat in the middle of the street, breathing heavily. Then… starts laughing.
Cut to: Several emergency vehicles from the Hunter's Association screech to a halt nearby.
Agents jump out, forming a perimeter.
Woo Jin-Chul arrives, stepping past the confused Hunters, staring at the corpse of the Ogre Chieftain, then at the red-suited freak sitting on the ground and grinning at empty air.
Deadpool's got one eye on his system window—glowing and beautiful only to him.
Woo Jin-Chul: "Who… is that?"
Agent beside him: "No ID in the database. No Hunter registration. No mana signature. He's not awakened."
Deadpool: waves while still staring at the invisible screen
"Hey! You guys got dental? My last universe had terrible coverage."
Woo Jin-Chul: frowns "He's either a lunatic… or something else entirely."
Deadpool's POV:He's staring at his status screen:
Status Window
Level: 4
STR: 100
AGI: 93
VIT: ∞
INT: 58
LUK: -100
Innate Skill: SSS - Regeneration
Equipment Note: Suit durability restored via passive regeneration. Please stop jumping into traffic.
He chuckles.
"Aw, Nexus. You get me."
To the outside world?
He's just a dude in a bloody suit, sitting on a monster corpse, smiling and talking to nothing.
A medic approaches slowly, whispering:
"Sir… we need you to lie down and let us help—"
Deadpool: "If you touch me, I'm billing you for emotional trauma."