"Are you a CSE student?" Someone asked as I flipped my skateboard up. He was wearing the department hoodie. A senior. I forgot his name already.
I bowed to him, "Ah, yes."
"What are you doing here alone? Our department is sitting over there—" he retorted pointing at the banner.
"Thank you, sunbae!"
"Come with me," he said, gesturing to me to follow him. And as we reached the table and I was registering myself, one of the male seniors at the table said, "Oh! Skateboard! What are you? A tomboy?"
I shook my head saying, "I only do this for fun, sunbae."
"Isn't she too pretty to be a tomboy?" Another female sunbae said.
"You are making her embarrassed!"
"It's okay!" I retorted, then received my registration card from them.
"Aren't this year's freshmen pretty good looking?" Someone muttered, passing by.
I looked around.
Jinwoo still isn't here. Is he waiting for me to call and wake him up?— I thought, as that was what I used to do everyday—telling him schedule, him forgetting about it, waking him up, and waiting for him for hours.
"Um, excuse me—" a guy tapped on my shoulder. I looked back. "Um— I have been watching you for a while— you look so cool," he stuttered.
I already knew where this was going.
"Can I have your number?" he asked.
I sighed before softly saying, "You can have my instagram, is that cool?" I would feel sad to reject him completely.
He smiled at me, giving me his phone, "Ah yes. That'd be enough."
I quickly typed my username when he spoke again, "Are you from the CSE department?"
"Yes. What about you?"
"Chemistry. You skate?"
"Sometimes," I uttered, giving him his phone back, "I have to go! It was nice meeting you!"
"Ah yes."
As soon as I turned back and started walking, another voice came in. "Do you skate, too?" I glanced up, gripping my skateboard a little tighter. A tall guy with an annoyingly bright smile was staring down at me. Lee Sunghoon, the leader of the Tungsten Riders. His reputation on campus was well-known. People respected him for his skills, but all I saw was another reason to stay silent. He had always been so sweet towards me. We were more than just good friends. But talking to him would drag me to Jinwoo at any point. I would have probably smiled at him if I were my old self.
"Yeah," I said, keeping my response brief, hoping he'd take the hint.
"You should join my team," he said suddenly, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
What? I stared at him, trying to process his words. "I don't even know you," I replied, my voice hard. "And thanks, but I'm not interested."
He didn't seem fazed by my rejection. If anything, his smile grew wider, like he was used to breaking down walls with that grin of his. "Oh, I'm sorry! I should've introduced myself. I'm Lee Sunghoon, freshman, Computer Science & Engineering Department."
I nodded once. "Choi Aera, freshman, Computer Science & Engineering Department."
"Nice to meet you, Aera. So, how about it? I've always wanted to start a skateboarding team at university, and I'm looking for people with skills. You'd be a great fit. I just saw you skateboarding. It was really good. You got good reflexes."
I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. Persistent and sweet as always, isn't he? "I already said I'm not interested in any team," I shot back, harsher than I intended. It hurt me even more to talk to him like that. His smile faltered, but he recovered quickly.
Before he could press further, another voice joined us. "Sunghoon, stop. You're not making any team." Another tall, cold presence. I didn't even need to turn my head to recognize that voice—Park Bohyun. The ace of the Tungsten Riders. His tone was calm, yet firm, leaving no room for argument.
Bohyun's reputation was as solid as ever. He was skilled, respected, and rarely showed interest in people. Yet here he was, staring straight at Sunghoon, probably annoyed at the whole scene. I remember Jinwoo would always be jealous of him, I never really understood the point of jealousy. The fact that the Tungsten Riders took Jinwoo in their team still bothered me. He was totally opposite of the team's vibes.
Bohyun was the type of tsundere. He was caring and sweet to everyone even though he didn't let it show. He and Sunghoon used to always make sure I reached home safely. We would stop by street food stalls to eat and enjoy our small hangout. They always showed simple and warm gestures in the most natural way possible. I couldn't remember a single moment when I had to carry my bag whenever I was with these two only. They'd never let me. While Sunghoon would always try to make me laugh, Bohyun would stay silent, smiling softly from behind, not interrupting at all. If someone could ask me my favourite memories in my almost three years of university life before throwing back to the first, I would definitely answer— the time I spent with them were the only times when I smiled without thinking anything, without thinking of myself as a burden, and without feeling unwelcome. We were an undeclared trio.
"Bohyun," Sunghoon sighed, "creating a team takes time. I need people like Aera."
Bohyun crossed his arms. "And you have neither the time nor the people. Let it go for now."
"Why? We agreed to make a team once we are in university."
"We won't have time for this stuff."
"What are you saying suddenly?" Sunghoon furrowed his brows.
I was as confused as he was. What is Bohyun saying? Not making a team? Won't there be any Tungsten Riders anymore?
"Whatever your little brain is thinking now, leave it for later," Sunghoon added, then looked at me, "Aera, are you not interested at all?"
"No, I am not really interested at all," I said gently, "I am not really a professional or anything. I sometimes skate just for fun."
"We can have fun once we create the team."
"Don't bother her, Sunghoon! People don't have time for this in university." Bohyun retorted, typing something on the phone.
Sunghoon opened his mouth to argue, but Bohyun cut him off. "They've got programs for orientation. Not that I care, but I'm heading out to meet mom. You coming?"
"Why now? We just came." Sunghoon asked.
Bohyun ignored his question. Sunghoon added, "We should probably stay a bit longer. It's our first day."
That's right. Everyone knew Bohyun used to called Sunghoon's mom as his mom. Their friendship was one of a kind.
"How long do you plan to stay?" Bohyun asked, shrugging.
"Evening, is that cool?"
"I am leaving—" Bohyun said, annoyed.
"Why are you acting like that on the first day?" Sunghoon nudged him.
Bohyun sighed in frustration and then said, "Okay, I will walk around a bit. You stay here."
It was then that Bohyun turned his eyes toward me for the first time, and for some reason, my chest tightened. The air felt heavier, and suddenly, I found it hard to breathe. My chest tightened further, and a wave of dizziness hit me out of nowhere. What… is happening? I tried to steady myself, but my vision blurred. My knees gave out, before I hit the ground, Bohyun caught me. I looked at his eyes, dark, cold yet they were warm and before I knew it, everything went dark.
. . .
When I woke, the first thing I noticed was the white curtains. I was lying in a bed, white curtains drawn around me. Infirmary. I blinked, trying to gather my thoughts, when I heard muffled voices just beyond the curtain.
"Sunghoon, go home. Mom's worrying about you," Bohyun's voice came through.
"How can I leave you here alone? I'll stay," Sunghoon replied, his tone softer than before.
"You need rest. We've got class tomorrow. I'll stay here until she wakes up. You don't need to worry."
There was a pause, followed by the sound of Sunghoon reluctantly agreeing. "Alright, but text me if anything happens."
I lay there, my body heavy, but my mind was racing. I didn't want to think about what had just happened. I didn't want to face the fact that I'd passed out in front of everyone. But more than that, I didn't want to confront the sinking feeling in my chest. Why did my chest tighten when he looked at me?
As exhaustion started to pull me back under, my thoughts drifted to my mother. Why did you send me here? Why this time, this place? What am I supposed to find here?
I couldn't shake the feeling of being lost—out of place in a world that didn't feel like mine. Just before I slipped back into sleep, I thought I saw her again, standing in the distance like she always did in my dreams.