---
The coffin lid cracked open with a hiss, releasing a golden mist that smelled suspiciously like fermented tofu and ancient regret.
The cultivator within floated up.
He had silver hair down to his waist, an immortal aura strong enough to fry a void beast, and a facial expression that screamed, "I've seen things. Terrible soup things."
Wei Yun raised a brow. "So... you're not a zombie?"
"No," the floating man replied, "I'm an immortal sealed by the Celestial Court for cooking the Forbidden Recipe."
Mu Yao gasped. "The one with ghost chili lotus root and soul broth?!"
He nodded solemnly. "Yes. I am Dao Chef Bai Ye. Former God of Flavor. Now, a fugitive with a taste for vengeance… and spicy food."
Pan-Pan clapped. "I like him."
---
The moment Bai Ye touched the sect's soup pot, it shuddered.
> [System Alert: You've awakened the Cursed Soup Recipe!]
[Warning: May cause enlightenment, digestion of souls, or spontaneous existential dread.]
Wei Yun read the inscription carved into the pot:
> "Add one Celestial Spice. Stir under moonlight. Cook until reality warps."
Naturally, they cooked it.
Within minutes, the entire sect was floating slightly above the ground. Colors began speaking. One of the trees achieved Nirvana and left.
Xu Liang blinked. "I just saw a chicken achieve Dao."
Bai Ye took a sip. "Excellent. The seasoning's balanced."
Then he passed out.
---
As they cleaned up the soup-induced spiritual disaster, a scroll poofed into existence. It had a simple message:
> "Attention: Sect #000014ABANDONED is in violation of Spiritual Sanity Protocols."
"You are summoned to the Spirit Realm's Disciplinary Tribunal."
"Also: pants are optional."
Wei Yun stared at it.
"…We've been sued by the Spirit Realm?"
Crutchy: "Told ya. Third time this week."
With no choice, the sect used their one-time-use Spirit Travel Token (stolen from a wandering monk) and whooshed into the Spirit Realm.
---
The Spirit Realm was… disappointing.
It looked like a celestial-themed hot spring resort mixed with a bureaucracy office. Paperwork floated around like fairies. And sure enough, half the spirits weren't wearing pants.
"Welcome to the Tribunal," a floating scroll-being announced. "Today's charges: Culinary Chaos, Unauthorized Resurrection, and Temporal Flavor Violations."
Bai Ye muttered, "They're still mad I fed the Heavenly Tortoise jalapeños."
The tribunal asked for evidence.
Mu Yao stepped forward and presented… a PowerPoint presentation on soup-based enlightenment. Complete with transitions, dramatic music, and a chart showing Wei Yun's Sect Growth Rate: From Hut to Chaos Incarnate.
Xu Liang fell asleep halfway. Pan-Pan offered spirit popcorn.
The tribunal deliberated. Then:
> "Verdict: Not guilty, but definitely weird."
"Punishment: You must participate in the Great Spirit Realm Cooking Tournament. Win, and you are cleared. Lose, and Bai Ye gets stuffed back into his pot."
---
Back at the sect, Bai Ye stirred broth dramatically.
"We'll need ingredients not found in this realm. Sacred Beef of the Sky Bull. Tears of a Sad Phoenix. And the Root of Spicy Regret."
Wei Yun: "That sounds like a dungeon crawl."
Crutchy: "Or a buffet."
System chimed in.
> [System Quest: Acquire Forbidden Ingredients!]
[Side Quest: Discover the identity of the masked spirit who snuck into your soup last night.]
Everyone looked at each other.
Pan-Pan raised her hand. "Do we have time for one more ridiculous subplot?"
Wei Yun: "Always."
---
End of Chapter 6.