Fengye stood before the glistening stalks of magical rice, a single grain still clinging to his lips as he wiped away a tear. "It's so good… I could eat this forever."
Loki popped up like a floating emoji in his system window. "Forever has a ten-day cooldown, rice glutton. And unless you plan to live off dew and air, you need money. Open the shop!"
Feng blinked. "Shop? What am I selling? My dignity? Because I already traded that for a free dumpling last week."
With a ding, a glowing menu appeared:
> System Shop:
Level-Up Token – 10,000 Spirit Coins
Hut Expansion – 5,000 Spirit Coins
Toilet with Heated Seat – 3,000 Spirit Coins
Rice Recipe Book: "50 Shades of Grains" – 500 Spirit Coins
Feng's eyes sparkled. "I will become… a rice tycoon."
Loki smirked. "Let me guess, you're going to wear a fake beard and pretend you're a wise old merchant?"
"Wrong. I'm going to wear a fake beard and pretend I'm a sexy wise old merchant."
Cue a rocky montage of Fengye in a ridiculously oversized robe, beard made of mop threads, and a sign that read 'Miracle Rice from Baka – Eat and Level Up (Limited Side Effects)'.
The marketplace buzzed. "What's this?" one buyer asked.
"It made my left toe glow!" another shouted.
"I ate it and saw my dead ancestors… playing mahjong."
Business boomed.
Meanwhile, Loki floated behind Feng, wearing sunglasses and eating popcorn. "If they ask about the side effects, just say it makes you look cooler."
"But boss, what if the Queen finds out I'm alive and selling her nation's magical produce?"
Loki grinned. "Then we'll have another funny chapter."
Fengye, still in full rice tycoon disguise (read: mop-beard and camel-pattern robe), was rolling in silver coins like a greedy squirrel in a vault.
Kids cheered, old men prayed, and even dogs barked respectfully as he sold his legendary Baka Rice—now branded as "Heavenly Chew: Rice That Slaps".
But far away, in the Queen's glittering palace of Aetheria…
Guard Captain (early Foundation Establishment): "Your Majesty, the peasant who dared send you a love letter… he was seen alive, selling strange glowing rice in the market."
Queen Alira (with a teacup): "Oh, that foolish boy again… I want him alive. Bring him to me."
Cue dramatic chase music.
Back in the capital, a rival trader named Guo Fatian—bald, greedy, and with a mustache that looked like two leeches fighting—was fuming. His cabbage business was ruined. Ruined! No one wanted cabbages when they could eat rice that made you feel like flying.
Guo Fatian: "That mysterious bearded brat must be exposed! I shall uncover his secrets… and also his rice!"
Meanwhile, Fengye and Loki were having one of those conversations again:
Fengye (counting coins): "We're finally rich! Let's buy the heated toilet seat now."
Loki (floating upside-down): "No! First, we get the house expansion. Then the sexy bath. Then maybe—"
[System Alert! Queen's Guards are approaching. Estimated Time of Butt-kicking: 10 minutes.]
Fengye: "Aaaaaand there goes the toilet plan."
Just then, a cabbage flew across the stall and hit Feng in the face.
Guo Fatian (from crowd): "Show yourself, false trader! What is this devil rice?!"
The crowd gasped. Feng's beard fell off.
Kid from before: "Wait… aren't you that guy who proposed to the Queen!?"
Feng (deadpan): "Nope. I'm his hotter cousin."
Loki (dying laughing): "Best. Day. Ever."
As guards closed in and cabbage bombs flew, Feng grabbed the last sack of rice, his fan, and screamed:
"TO THE HUT, LOKI! ENGAGE EMERGENCY RICE EVAC MODE!"
Aetheria wasn't the richest kingdom… but it was rich enough to complain about caviar shortages. Queen Alira ruled with poise, fairness, and the kind of subtle wrath only royals and ex-girlfriends possessed. Peace thrived, scandals were rare, and the worst criminal last month was a man who tried to tax air.
That was until the Mount Baka incident.
The Queen was sipping her imported orchid petal tea when her royal messenger burst into the throne room, nearly tripping over his own enthusiasm.
Messenger (panting): "Your Majesty! Urgent news—from the guards and the market!"
Queen Alira (unbothered): "If it's about the dropout who tried to flirt with me, we already sent men to drag him down from that pile of rocks he's hiding on."
Messenger: "Yes, well… about that pile of rocks… it's sprouting magical rice."
She blinked. Slowly.
Messenger: "The guards chased him to Mount Baka. He disappeared. Then rumors began that Baka Rice is making people younger, more beautiful—even more attractive to their spouses."
The Queen's hand trembled. Her cup didn't survive.
Queen Alira: "People are glowing… from rice?"
Messenger: "Yes, Your Majesty. Commoners, nobles—even your second cousin twice removed who used to resemble a potato—now has cheekbones."
Alira (dryly): "So he's not a potato anymore."
Messenger: "Also… he's selling it disguised as a wandering trader named Master Fenggins. He's even wearing a fake mustache made of squirrel fur."
Her lips twitched. Not in amusement.
Queen Alira (growling): "That boy… dropped out, trespassed into my royal garden, and now runs an illegal beauty rice cartel from Mount Baka?!"
Minister of Agriculture: "We believe he's turning the entire mountain into fertile land. The guards are still scouting the area, but… the rice is growing fast. And it's selling faster."
Queen Alira: "Send the alchemists. Send the beauty squad. Send the royal tax leeches. And above all… find that squirrel-mustached brat!"