After 2 days, the prince did not visit me again. While the butterfly has not left me since the day I first saw it in the garden. It fluttered past my window, wings shimmering beneath the sunlight like a real crystal, the air dancing with its delicate presence. I had the feeling that it was the same butterfly that I saw from my previous life, but even if not, they shared the same colors and not left me in some ways.
It always circling around me, and sometimes just land on the edge of my crib or even sometimes land on my head. What is odd the most is that not even the maids seem to pay it any mind, even it flies past them while they are busy cleaning my room or land on my head when they feed my milk.
"Good morning, your highness!" Amy softly said, her voice is as sweet as usual when she approached my crib. I watched her through the bars of my crib, my eyes were at her, but my mind still lingered on the butterfly.
"What shall we do today, your highness?" she asked with a bright smile, as she reached gently to brush the strand of my curly short hair on my face. I did not answer, of course I could not. My voice was still stocked away with my age, I am still around 5 months old. Instead, I simply lifted my hand forward the window, trying to gesture her I wanted to go out the castle.
"Awu!" I looked at her excited, causing Amy to pause for a moment before she happily smiles.
Amy followed the direction of my finger and then chuckles so softly. "Oh my, do you want to go out there?"
I watched her approached the window for a minute, might checking the weather first before she went back to me. "Alright, alright, if the princess insists." She scooped me up into her arms and carried me out my room, her steps are light and graceful, as if the way she walks is also trained.
I guided her with tiny fingers, pointing again and again as we passed through hallways bathed in gold and light. The butterfly, every faithful, fluttered ahead of us like a guide. I tilted my head to look up at Amy, wondering if she saw it too or she was bothered by its constant presence. Upon noticing my gaze, she smiled even brighter at me.
"Yes, your highness?" she asked, as if she's trying to read my mind. I guess she really did not mind.
We continued to walk further and further from the familiar place outside of the palace. Amy eventually slowed her pace, breathing a little heavier, while she looks around inspecting our surroundings.
"Your highness, I think we're going too far from the main palace," she panted, but I was too focused on the path ahead. I pointed again, determined. Somehow, I felt we were close, just little walk forward and surely, we'll reach the prince's garden.
Amy, who don't have any choice but to obey the princess, she continues to walk to the directions I pointed at. And finally, we arrived…
The garden.
Not the small courtyard near my room, but the large, overgrown paradise at the very edge of the palace walls. Flowers bloomed wildly, unchecked but beautiful. Vines tangled across marble arches, and sunlight broke through the leaves like scattered gold. The butterfly vanished into the trees, but its presence lingered.
I looked around, eager. But he was not here.
The prince.
I sighed inwardly. It has already been a few days since he last visited me. Did something happen? Amy had not said anything about him, but then again, she rarely did even during he's around, I think she's forbidden to talk about the royalties to others, or maybe she just doesn't know anything?
"Oh, I see. Do you like this place too, just like his highness Laurent? "Amy spoke, her voice is soft and happy as she gently rocked me in her arms. I turned my gaze to her. "That is so cute. You two must be getting close."
Laurent… That is his name?
I had only just learned it.
Strange, isn't it? I had only spent a mere day with him, yet those brief moments lingered in my memory like warmth in winter. He had smiled at me, making me thought that I finally have a brother who cared for me.
And then he was gone.
I've only spent less thana week with him, so I wouldn't say were that close, but I'm not going to lie, its dull whenever he isn't around since ill be back to my repeated dull routines again.
I stared at the place where he once sat with me under the huge old tree. It was odd, I did not fully understand it, only that it curled my chest every time I looked at the empty space. A longing I did not have the words to express. Maybe the reason of it was hoping too much. I paused, curling my fingers into Amy's sleeve. I guess I am once again abandoned by my own family, disappearing without any proper goodbye or at least telling me their reasons.
Amy, who is staring at me, noticed the sudden shift in my expression. My tiny fingers, once outstretched toward the butterfly now clutched on her sleeve. It angered and saddened me of how the same terrible happened to me in my previous life repeated once again. But Amy, as always, mistook it for something else.
"Oh my, is the princess feeling hungry?" she asked. "Do you want to go back to your room?"
I shook my head slowly. A firm, deliberate no. her eyes widened in surprise. For a moment, she just stared at me. Then her lips curled into a bright smile, full of warmth and wonder.
"Oh my! I knew the princess was a genius baby!" she giggled. "You seem to understand my words, and even respond to them!"
I turn my gaze at the flowers, a small breeze brushed past us, scattering petals across the ground like fragments of forgotten promises.
Suddenly, the quiet calm of the room was broken by the sound of hurried footstep nearing us. Amy turned around to look who it was and saw another maid in rush and stopped in front of us, slightly out of breath. Her eyes soon locked onto Amy.
"The emperor has requested your presence, immediately," she said in a low voice.
Amy's cheerful expression faltered at once. The light in her eyes dimmed, and a subtle tension settled over her shoulders. Still, she nodded without hesitation. "I understand," she replied, her voice is calm but noticeably scared.
With gentle care, she held me close in her arms and carried me back towards my room and soon lays me down on my crib, where two other maids waited silently and soon Instinctively stepped forward to my crib.
Amy soon stood upright, she exhaled slowly, then began adjusting her appearance, patting down her apron, fixing her sleeves, brushing back a loose strand of her hair from her face. Her expression shifted from soft and warmth to a composed and unreadable mask.
She turned to look at me once more, eyes gentle despite the worry she is feeling, and she whispered with a smile, "I'll take you to the garden again next time, okay?"
Then, without waiting, Amy turned and followed the imperial guard waiting outside the door. Her footsteps were steady, her presence now is distant, as if she had stepped into another role entirely, no longer the kind maid, but a subject summoned by power.
I watched as the door closed behind her with a soft click and wished she'll be okay.
The room fell quiet again, save for the gentle rustle of the wind brushing against the huge windows in my room.
One of the younger maids' glances towards the door and whispered, "What do you think the emperor wants with her?"
The other maid didn't look up as she tucked a blanket on my small body and adjust it." It's not for us to question. But…" she hesitated. "I must be important."
"I hope it's not something bad," The youngest maid added, her voice trembling slightly as she held on to her apron. She cast a quick glance around the room, lowering her voice further. "The emperor is not in the mood these days. Most of the servants are terrified."
"That's scary," another maid whispered.
"Yeah, I know," One replied. "He even had one servant executed last night."
A shiver passed through the younger maid's frame as she glanced nervously forward the door. "I think we shouldn't talk about things like that around the princess."
"It's fine," another maid chimed in dismissively. "Babies don't understand anything yet, so it's fine."
I could hear every word, every whisper they thought was hushed enough to escape my ears. The maids might have believed I was too young, too innocent to comprehend their fearful chatter. But I understand everything. Every word. And hearing it sent a chill straight down my spine.
That bastard… the emperor. A tyrant, a monster, just like the book had described him. The same tyrant I was bound to, trapped by fate in a world I couldn't escape. I shuddered just thinking about him, his cold, cruel presence that haunted every corner of this palace. If only he would forget about my existence, I could live in peace.
The maid's words seemed to echo in my mind, their implications becoming clearer with every passing moment. I had been born into his world, and whether I wanted it or not, my life was tied to his. I wonder if he'll soon abandon his responsibilities to me, wonder if he's planning to kill or hire someone to do it for him?
Suddenly, the maids moved closer to the crib. Their eyes were on me, and I lifted my head in confusion, staring up at them, wondering why they were suddenly so attentive. One of them spoke, her voice a strange mix of awe and uncertainty.
"you're right," she said quietly, looking down at me with kind of reverence. "Her highness is totally a copy of the emperor, from head to toe."
"Yes," another maid agreed, her voice carrying a hint of something darker. "The only difference is that she's a girl… which makes her a girl version of His Majesty."
I do not want to listen to their conversation, hearing it made my stomach twist. I was a mirror of him, they said. A reflection of that tyrant's blood. Even if I have everything from him, nothing will ever change. I was nothing more than a tool, an unwanted baby.
The room felt too small suddenly, too suffocating, as if the very walls were closing in on me. What if the emperor doesn't want anyone to look like him?! He might instantly kill me once I grew up and our resemblance will be more evident!!
What was I supposed to do with this knowledge? With the awareness that I was strapped, bound to the fate of a man who ruled with fear and cruelty?
I wanted to run away and just asked for someone's help. But being a baby… I'm sure that would be impossible! These maids really don't know how to shut up for once!
"Awuu pu!!" I tried telling them shut up, yet random meaningless words came out my small mouth instead.
The elder maid noticed my bubbling and instead she scooped me carefully and rock me gentle, trying to make me fall asleep as other maids continue to talk.
After that day, Amy kept her promise and took me back into the garden whenever the sun was warm and the air sweet. The months passed like leaves on the wind, each one fading into the next without pause.
Summer melted into autumn, its golden days turning colder with each sunset. Autumn crumbled into winter, the chill in the air sharp and biting. Then, as if the earth itself took a deep breath. Spring whispered its arrival, soft rain falling in gentle sheets, and flowers blooming in colors that seemed almost too bright for the world.
Through it all, I spent my days with Amy, my faithful shadow, always at my side. She was the sun to my world, always near, always caring. She would carry me into the garden, where I could feel the same breeze that once carried the prince's voice. She would tell me stories when the night stretched long, until I fall asleep.
"And then they live happily ever after." Amy ended the story with a smile, as if the last sentence were even real.
And the butterfly... It remained as always. It always flies around or sometimes it perched on my shoulder, as though it were a constant companion, as if it silently observes my life. It only vanishes for days, weeks even but it would not take a month before it will return to me, as though it had never left at all.
The servants no longer whispered the prince's name near me. Amy stopped mentioning him altogether, as if he had faded from my lives. With each passing day, the memories of him began to blur. I no longer saw his face in my head as clearly as I once had, the image fading like a forgotten dream.
In the silence of my growing, I came to accept that maybe being love by my own family doesn't matter anymore.
With time, I changed. In each passing month, I grew slowly, achingly slowly. I could speak small, basic words, and though Amy always smiled and nodded when I did, some of the maids would glance at each other with confusion. Their expressions sometimes left me feeling frustrated.
I had stopped thinking about what happened to the prince. I told myself I didn't care that I didn't need to care. He had been a distant figure in my mind, a fleeting memory, and nothing more. But still, some nights, when the stars blinked down at me from the heavens, I wondered… why did he left.
It did not matter.
Not anymore.