The virtual broadcast room of Teyvat's Second Creation flared to life, its ethereal glow illuminating countless minds across the continent.
"Good evening, dear viewers and friends—welcome to tonight's show!" the system announced with a cheerful chime.
The timing was perfect, the broadcast kicking off just as most of Teyvat finished their evening meals.
Dinner tables were cleared, and families, adventurers, and gods alike tuned in for the spectacle.
The chat exploded with activity as familiar names flooded the live broadcast room.
Mandrill enters the live broadcast room, the system noted, his presence a quiet ripple.
Yan Xiao enters the live broadcast room, followed by the Wangshu Inn's renowned chef.
Lisa enters the live broadcast room, her curiosity piqued from Mondstadt's library.
Jiang Xue enters the live broadcast room, the fisherman joining from Liyue's waters.
Coral Palace Kokomi enters the live broadcast room, Watatsumi's leader tuning in.
Razor enters the live broadcast room, the wolf boy watching from Wolvendom.
Zheping enters the live broadcast room, a humble Inazuman villager joining the crowd.
The list grew longer, a diverse cast of Teyvat's denizens gathering for the show.
Arataki Itto: "The great Arataki Itto has arrived—it's gotta be my turn this time!" he boasted.
Kamisato Ayato: "Brother Itto, you're awfully eager; most of us dread the second creation spotlight," he teased.
Paimon: "Exactly! Paimon's been on edge every day, terrified of being picked," she whined.
Kuki Shinobu: "The boss is a fool—just wait until he's the one getting roasted," she sighed.
Arataki Itto: "@Kuki Shinobu, hey, I'm your boss; can you show me a little respect?" he grumbled.
Beidou: "Keep that bravado, Itto—you'll feel the sting when the spoof hits you," she warned.
Keqing: "I can't even walk Liyue's streets without people snickering now," she lamented.
Venti: "Liyue, Snezhnaya, Mondstadt—who's next? Maybe someone from Inazuma this time?" he mused.
Sangonomiya Kokomi: "Please not me, please not me—don't let it be me," she prayed.
Xander: "Don't fear the second creation—face it bravely; what's meant to be will be," he advised.
Kaeya: "Anyone up for a wager? Let's bet on which nation gets spotlighted this time," he proposed.
Diluc: "Hmph, what a pointless game," he scoffed, his disdain clear.
Venti: "I'm in—count me as a player!" he chirped, ever the carefree bard.
Paimon: "Bard, do you even have Mora to bet with?" she questioned skeptically.
Venti: "Uh… will an apple do as my wager?" he offered sheepishly.
The chat buzzed with playful banter, a lively prelude to the main event.
After a few moments of chatter, the big screen flickered, revealing the day's title.
"A Bucket of Fortune," the text declared in bold, shimmering letters.
Kuki Shinobu: "Itto? Could it really be the boss this time?" she gasped.
Arataki Itto: "Hahaha, I knew it—it's definitely me, the great Arataki Itto!" he crowed.
Paimon: "They actually picked this big dummy?" she exclaimed, incredulous.
Kamisato Ayato: "Congratulations, Brother Itto—you've made the stage," he said smoothly.
Yae Miko: "If it's this silly boy, I'll enjoy watching the chaos unfold," she purred.
Eula: "Hmph, excellent—it's not me this time," she sighed in relief.
Amber: "Same here—I've dodged the spotlight once again," she cheered.
Hu Tao: "Ugh, why is it so hard for the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to get some advertising?" she pouted.
The title faded, replaced by a vivid scene unfolding on the screen.
The setting was a modest house in Inazuma City, its shoji screens and tatami mats unmistakable.
Two figures sat within, their conversation the focal point of the broadcast.
Arataki Itto, with his towering horns and boisterous demeanor, occupied one side.
Xander sat across from him, his expression a mix of curiosity and amusement.
The inclusion of Xander in the spoof was a deliberate choice, a shield against suspicion.
By placing himself in the narrative, he could deflect any doubts about his role as the creator.
Xander: "Pfft—argh, why am I in this too?!" he exclaimed, feigning shock.
His acting was convincing, a dramatic display of surprise for the audience.
Arataki Itto: "Hahaha, it's really me—watch the great Arataki Itto shine!" he roared.
Beidou: "@Xander, you've made us laugh before—now you're the one caught off guard!" she teased.
Keqing: "Seeing this makes me feel a bit better about my own spotlight," she admitted.
The story began in earnest, the screen drawing the audience into its playful tale.
Arataki Itto reached into his pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper.
He handed it to Xander with a grin, his eyes gleaming with mischief.
"Brother, I've got a project here that'll earn us 20 million Mora—take a look," Itto said.
Xander accepted the paper, unfolding it to reveal a photograph and text.
The image showed Yae Miko, her elegant features framed by her pink fox ears.
The text beneath read like a scandalous advertisement, bold and absurd.
"I am Yae Miko of Narukami Shrine, young and beautiful," it began.
"As I have no heirs to inherit my position, I seek a healthy man," it continued.
"Spend a night with me, grant me a child, and earn 20 million Mora as your reward," it promised.
A contact number followed: 114541, scrawled in hasty ink.
Yae Miko: "Pfft—what in Teyvat is this nonsense?!" she sputtered, aghast.
The Guuji of Narukami Shrine felt her composure shatter, her tail bristling.
She was utterly numb, her fox senses overwhelmed by the absurdity.
She had been preparing to enjoy a quiet evening at her publishing house.
A cup of tea sat ready, her mind set on watching the broadcast as a spectator.
Instead, disaster had struck, her name dragged into the spotlight.
The spoof painted her as a desperate maiden, throwing Mora for a child.
Her carefully curated image—wise, elegant, untouchable—lay in tatters.
The thought of her reputation sinking into the abyss made her stomach churn.
She could already hear the whispers, the gossip that would spread like wildfire.
Inazuma's streets would buzz with this tale, her dignity the price of the jest.
The irony stung—she'd anticipated Itto's embarrassment, not her own.
Now, she was the one caught in the crossfire, a victim of the second creation's whims.
The chat erupted, a mix of shock, amusement, and sympathy for the fox.
Kuki Shinobu: "Oh no, Lady Yae got dragged into this too—poor her," she murmured.
Kamisato Ayato: "This took an unexpected turn—my condolences, Lady Yae," he offered.
Paimon: "Whoa, Yae Miko got hit hard—and she wasn't even the main target!" she gasped.
Venti: "Haha, the fox got caught in the crossfire—what a twist!" he laughed.
Hu Tao: "Now that's a plot twist—maybe I should hire Yae for some PR," she mused.
Eula: "I retract my relief—this broadcast spares no one," she muttered.
Amber: "I feel bad for her, but I'm still glad it's not me," she admitted.
The screen continued, Itto's laughter echoing as he reveled in his starring role.
Xander's feigned shock played on, a perfect mask for his true intentions.
The broadcast room buzzed with energy, the audience hooked on the unfolding drama.
Yae Miko's misfortune became the night's centerpiece, a tale of unintended chaos.
The Shadowfang Blade at Xander's side thrummed, delighting in the mischief.
Wangshu Inn's quiet night was a distant memory, Teyvat's laughter now the melody.
***
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