In the twists and turns of my childhood, I had always taken refuge in solitude, preferring the quietude of my room to the tumult of the outside world. Books were my faithful companions, video games my escape to fantasy worlds where I could be whoever I wanted to be. But all that changed the day Saé burst into my life, bringing with her a whirlwind of emotions and new things.
It was during my student years that our paths crossed for the first time. Saé, with her boundless energy and contagious smile, had succeeded in breaking down the barriers of my solitude, drawing me into a whirlwind of adventures I never thought I'd be a part of.
That day, she arrived at my home with a proposal that would shake up my well-established routine. There she was, standing in front of my door, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
"So, are you ready for our nocturnal adventure?"
It was her first time in a nightclub, she'd explained, and she wanted me to accompany her.
I'd hesitated at first, reluctant to step out of my comfort zone, but Saé's boundless enthusiasm had overcome my reluctance. She had convinced me, with her gentle persuasion and radiant smile, that this evening would be an unforgettable experience.
Before leaving, I had taken the time to choose my outfit carefully, conscious of my lack of experience when it came to social outings. I had dressed in a sober but elegant black shirt, matched with grey pants. Clothes don't always make the man, but in an environment where every detail could be scrutinized, I wanted to make sure my appearance was adequate.
So I turned to Saé, a gleam of uncertainty in my eye, and shyly asked her opinion on my choice of clothing. After all, she was the expert on the subject, far more accustomed than I to these worlds where fashion and sociability reigned supreme.
"So... What do you think?"
"It'll do perfectly!"
Saé's excitement was palpable as she approved my choice of clothing with an enthusiastic nod. She seemed genuinely eager to share this evening with me and introduce me to her friends, but for me, the prospect aroused growing apprehension instead.
"You'll see, you'll have a blast!"
His words echoed in my head as we headed for the nightclub. "Her friends..." The idea of having to face the gaze of others, with their silent judgments and implicit remarks, was already haunting me.
When we arrived, I was struck by the cacophony inside this unfamiliar place. The vibrant atmosphere enveloped me like a wave of sound. Strobe lights pulsated to the beat of the deafening music, creating ephemeral illusions and dancing shadows on the walls. The air was infused with an electric energy, a fusion of rhythmic notes and conversations muffled by the surrounding noise.
The bass resonated in the chest, creating a constant pulse that seemed to synchronize the movements of the crowd. People danced and moved to the beat of the music, some in an almost hypnotic state of ecstasy. Laughter, shouts of joy and even whispers in the dark contributed to the joyous cacophony.
Multicolored lights bathed the dance floor, creating a visual kaleidoscope that captivated the eye. Neon flashes illuminated the faces of the revelers, revealing a mixture of ecstatic expressions and dazzling smiles. The air was charged with an infectious excitement, every corner of the box seemed to be brimming with life and enthusiasm.
For me, however, this festive world was as alien as it was fascinating. My senses were on overload, and the idea of having to immerse myself in this sea of movement and sound filled me with growing apprehension.
"Look, Saé has just arrived!"
"Haha you finally decided to jump into the deep end!"
"I'm so happy to see you here!"
"So, you've managed to bring back a guy?!" then said one of her friends with a face full of mischief.
Saé then introduced me to her friends with infectious enthusiasm.
"Chinen, Fumi, Yuina. Meet Bun, a friend from college!"
While I was already expecting their grim judgment, I was surprised by their response.
"Nice to meet you Bun!"
"So, Saé hangs out with someone like him!"
But their reaction only accentuated my unease. One of his friends asked him a question that seemed as disturbing as it was unexpected.
"Saé! Why didn't you introduce us to him before? I wouldn't have had to deal with that bastard Saniro..."
One of her friends then approached me. "Excuse her, Yuina is very attracted to handsome and charming men, and it has to be said that you don't leave her indifferent."
The compliment caught me off guard, but what disturbed me most was the ease with which they talked about me, without fear of other people's judgment. In my own world, I'd never have known how to compliment a girl to her face so easily.
"Your buddy is uptight or something Saé, why doesn't he join us?" said a man who was in Saé and her friends' group.
"Excuse him, he's a bit shy, it's the first time he's been to this kind of place like me."
"But it's your first time too, yet you don't have an attitude like his."
"We're all different Chinen. Some adapt more easily than others, depending on the situation."
In the frenzy of the nightclub, I felt like a stranger in a distant, unknown land. While Saé lost herself in the dance and excitement, I stood by, observing this colorful world with a mixture of fascination and unease.
All around me, the beat of the music mingled with laughter and lively conversation. Bodies undulated to the hypnotic rhythm of the bass, lost in a whirlwind of energetic movements and gestures. Laughter and cheers rose above the din, testifying to the joy and exuberance of the revelers.
Yet, despite the effervescent atmosphere, I felt like a distant spectator, detached from the festive mood. The excited looks and radiant smiles that lit up the faces of others seemed foreign to me, like fragments of a world to which I didn't belong.
I wondered how these people could find pleasure in this vibrant chaos, in this sensory cacophony. For me, there was something profoundly alienating about this experience, something that reminded me of how divergent our worlds were.
While Saé let herself be carried away by the music and the excitement of the crowd, I stood there, withdrawn into myself.
"What am I doing here? I feel like I'm watching a movie, but I'm not interested in the story line."
For me, there was far more to discover in the pages of a book or the quiet recesses of my apartment than in this restless human tide.
In the hustle and bustle of the nightclub, each corner seemed to tell a different story, a complex web woven by human interaction. I found myself watching with fascination the various scenes unfolding before my eyes.
There were those dancing carefree, carried away by the frenetic rhythm of the music, like Saé and her friends, losing themselves in the euphoria of the moment. Their laughter and energetic gestures seemed to paint smiles on the faces around them.
Then there were those who sought each other out with their eyes, furtive exchanges laden with promises and unspoken desires. Each glance exchanged was a dance step in the choreography of seduction, a mysterious game of hide-and-seek between attraction and reserve.
A young man, a spilt drink, a polite apology. It was a chance encounter, a moment of awkwardness transformed into an opportunity for connection. Their knowing smiles testified to a shared moment, ephemeral but charged with meaning.
And yet, despite this close observation, I felt strangely detached from it all. These interactions, though familiar from my reading, seemed distant, irrelevant to me. I realized that everything I could observe here, I could find between the pages of a book, and that leaving my home was merely repeating scenarios I'd already explored.
Lost in my thoughts, I didn't immediately notice the presence of the young woman addressing me. It was only when she lightly tapped my shoulder to attract my attention that I snapped out of my reverie.
"Oh, p... pa... pardon..." I stammered, caught off guard by her sudden intervention.
She sketched an amused smile at my apparent embarrassment, teasing slightly. "You seem to be a bit lost here too, don't you?"
Her remark only reinforced my embarrassment. It was clear that my clumsiness was not going unnoticed. I simply gave her a shy smile in reply, unsure of what to say.
Then I realized that the young woman in front of me was indeed one of Saé's friends.
"You must be Fumi, aren't you?" I asked her, seeking to confirm my assumptions.
A smile lit up her face as she nodded. "Not bad, you've got a good memory." she replied approvingly.
Fumi seemed to find some comfort in our exchange, and she confided in me without reserve.
"This is the first time I've been to a place like this. And I must confess that I feel very uncomfortable too."
Curious to understand his feelings, I asked him the reason for his discomfort. Her answer only confirmed my own impressions. She was deeply introverted, and the superficial nature of interactions in such places made her uncomfortable.
"In this kind of place, it's complicated to have exciting, deep conversations. Most of the boys are only there for sex..."
Fumi expressed her dismay at the superficiality of conversation in this environment, where most men seemed only interested in encounters of a physical nature.
I nodded in understanding. "I understand you perfectly," I said. "I also prefer the quiet of my own home to read books or play video games."
She teased me gently.
"I see, a real geek!"
But she added that she understood me perfectly. We shared this difficulty in finding people who really suited us.
Then Fumi shared some of her personal history.
"In the past, my so-called friends used me for the sole purpose of getting answers to homework. I had this label of class nerd. However, one day, when they tried to manipulate me by threatening me to get answers to a homework assignment, Saé stepped in to defend me. That's how we met."
I immersed myself attentively in her story.
"It's true that Saé sounds like a real heroine, ready to defend those who needed it..."
As I strayed into my thoughts, plunging back into my memories of our first meeting, I noticed Saé being approached by the same charming young man.
"Well... Isn't this the individual who had apologized to the woman after spilling her drink?"