The days went by without me hearing a word from Saé, and to be honest, it didn't bother me in the least. The wound of our altercation was still fresh in my mind, and I felt better without having to face her reproaches or justifications. After all, if she couldn't understand me, then what was the point of continuing a relationship with her?
I was deeply disappointed by her lack of understanding. I thought a friend should be there to understand and support, but apparently Saé didn't think so. This realization made me question the very nature of friendship. If even a close friend couldn't understand me, then what could I expect from others?
Returning to my usual routine, I got up and grabbed my phone to check the latest video game news. Lying back on my bed, I immersed myself in this virtual universe which, unlike that of human relationships, gave me a sense of comfort and understanding.
The news of this new postponement for the game "Awake" hit me like a low blow.
"Again!?"
I had waited so long for this game, so eagerly anticipated its release, and now, once again, it had been postponed. All my expectations and preparations seemed in vain. I felt betrayed by the video game industry, as if my efforts to immerse myself in this universe were worthless.
Disgusted, I threw my phone on my bed, not wanting to hear any more about this disappointment. But just as I thought I was alone in my frustration, an unexpected vibration brought me back to reality.
"Who could be sending me a message at this time of night? Surely Mr.Minamoto...."
When I caught sight of the sender's name, I was surprised. It was Saé. A mixture of emotions overwhelmed me. On the one hand, I was curious to know what she had to say after those days of silence, but on the other, I was still hurt by our altercation.
{Saé : Hi Bun, I hope you're well. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for what happened that night. I recognize that I may have been a little too nice to that guy and that it may have bothered you. I hope we can put it behind us}.
{Bun: Hello, you don't need to apologize to a stranger. Everyone does it anyway, so no one will hold it against you}.
It's true that we're all liable to hurt someone's feelings without even realizing it, especially in the context of a party where emotions can sometimes be heightened. However, I think it's important to recognize that apologies aren't always sincere, especially when people don't really know each other.
It's an unpleasant reality, but people tend to take advantage of anonymity or emotional distance to avoid sincerely apologizing to those they may have hurt. They often think that because they don't know the person well, their actions don't matter as much, which is of course not true.
{Saé: What are you talking about, Bun? Why would you say that? We were friends, weren't we?}
Seen.
{Saé : I don't understand...}
Seen.
And so our conversation ended. I had no intention of replying to her messages in the future.
During the day, I felt compelled to leave my cocoon and go to class. Just the thought of meeting other people's eyes filled me with anxiety.
At the supermarket checkout, I had to face the cashier who kindly asked me how my day was going. My answers were short and unconvincing, and I quickly paid to leave as quickly as possible.
After facing these frightening human interactions, I hurried home. Yet even on the way home, every person I encountered seemed to be another obstacle to overcome.
I had to pass a group of young people chatting loudly. Their mere presence made me quicken my pace, eager to escape this uncomfortable environment.
But as I walked at full speed, a young lady stopped me.
"Excuse me! You dropped your handkerchief."
When I turned around to see her face, she replied.
"You know, it's often a sign of bad omens this kind of thing!"
"Saé?"
It was Saé standing in front of me. I was surprised to see her here and even more surprised by her words.
"I knew you'd be here, because you have your little habits. You always go out at specific times to do your shopping."
This situation put me in a state of deep discomfort, and I just wished I could leave. I had nothing more to say to Saé.
But she held my arm,
"Please Bun, listen to what I have to say."
Her tone, tinged with regret, caught my attention in spite of myself. I felt trapped, torn between the desire to escape the situation and curiosity about what she had to say.
Saé revealed to me, in a whisper imbued with a heavy solemnity.
"You know that man... Who tried to seduce me in the nightclub... He wasn't just a clumsy flirt. No, he was much more than that from what I could hear. He had a most sinister reputation, that of a devious and evil individual, who was known to abuse young women using drugs and manipulation to then get what he wanted from them."
Her story made my blood run cold. I felt my muscles stiffen as Saé's every word registered in my mind like a sentence. I realized, with an unpleasant shudder, that the mere sight and actions I'd seen of this man in the nightclub hadn't been random, but rather an ominous portent, a silent warning.
And then Saé made a confession that shook the foundations of my perception.
"At first, I didn't understand the real reason for your intervention... I thought it was an act of jealousy on your part."
I felt both relieved and overwhelmed by this revelation. Relieved because the confusion had been cleared up, but overwhelmed that Saé hadn't perceived the truth behind my actions.
"I sincerely apologize for neglecting your precious intuition. You possess such a strong and exceptional intuition, and I should have followed you with more faith. I'm sorry I underestimated you, and I pledge to trust you more in the future."
His apology hit me right in the heart. Saé seemed to carry the weight of remorse on his shoulders, bitterly regretting his past behavior.
"You're a precious friend to me, and... I don't want to lose that bond... I couldn't bear to lose such a precious connection again."
His words, tinged with sincerity and vulnerability, resonated within me like a sad, captivating melody, awakening in me a deep compassion for his torment.
The sadness that enveloped Saé was palpable. Her face, once illuminated by a radiant smile, was now darkened by pain and tears. It was a heartbreaking image, that of a soul tormented by the weight of its mistakes and the consequences that flowed from them.
In this tense situation of redemption and reconciliation, I could only accept Saé's sincere apology. As she dried her tears, she surprised me by asking if she could come and stay with me. Intrigued, I asked her why such a request, and she simply replied, with a mysterious smile.
"Sometimes there are far more interesting things to do at home than just going out."
This remark brought a smile to my face, a mixture of puzzlement and amusement. Saé, always quick to tease, then turned to me.
"By the way, did you know? I've been practicing this car racing game since our last altercation. I'm much stronger than you now!"
I burst out laughing at her provocation, knowing full well that she was trying to tease me and lighten the tense atmosphere hovering between us.
***
So Saé explained to Edano.
"What terrifies Bun in this apocalyptic world is not so much the struggle for survival, but rather being confronted with social interactions, and the gaze of others because of his deep-seated anxiety, as well as discovering the true face of society now that he no longer has the film to protect himself."
This revelation leaves Edano puzzled, realizing that my fears are far deeper and more complex than he had imagined. It's as if the end of the world was only part of my fears, and that the real demons reside within myself and the reality around me.
Edano then spoke to Saé.
"If that's how it is, if his fears are so deep and intense, then he's no longer of any use to us."
"Wait, Edano! I can still try to reason with him..."
"No need, in this situation... The only person who can give us support is him! And I'm going after him."