I came to the office by the office I mean the place where SHE does HER best work. Killing the guilty implementing justice. A brief glance around was when my eyes stopped on the ceiling was a black figure the size of a child no older than eight staring down at me weirdly. The eyes were pure white and glowing. What was creepy was when he exposed his sharp teeth when he gave me a smile. The kid was holding on to the ceiling with his claws. The kid happily crawled back and forth and suddenly lost his grip and fell to the ground. He turned into a pool of black liquid. It went from a matte finish to glossy in a moment. Then suddenly the liquid rose to be a semicircle. Then spikes popped in and out repeatedly. The spikes then turned clockwise and counterclockwise before going in figure eights.
I went to the drawer assigned for an assortment of knives. I saw a child no younger than two next to me. Her skin was pitch black. Her clothes were black and she would look at the drawer and look at me. I Ignored her as a rule as I made myself comfortable sharpening my knives. This was me implementing a sort of stress relief. I unrevealed a piece of leather and started inserting the knives to the straps. In the corner of my eyes I saw a very obese man sneaking a peak. The man had a t-shirt and a sarong on. He seemed genuinely curious about my personal habits. As I was arranging the protective covering I saw a black cat jump from one cabinet to the next and did several twirls before doing a disappearing act. This is stress induced hallucinations. Why would I have it. Well.....
I had to spend an hour and half losing a persistent tail. I am sure that my uncle's groupies were tailing me thinking that I had killed him so they were looking for evidence. I came here after I was certain that I will not be interrupted in any shape or form. I made myself comfortable in the only chair available and so I can switch with HER and get it over with. But before I closed my eyes I saw a hideous figure about five feet away from me. An orange skinned man with disheveled red hair. A torn sleeveless plain red t-shirt and pair of red shorts. He had his hands on his hips and gave me the I dare you to do something look. He exposed his teeth that were all fangs. I blinked a few times to push him out of my system.
I opened my eyes to see that he was gone and but then I blinked again and my vision changed for a moment it was like I wore a red lens. Everything around me was only in different shades of red. Either light or dark. I panicked and blinked several times and watched as the red slid off to reveal the natural and glorious hues. I praised God before I closed my eyes and saw myself in the desert. I called out to HER and the response was a cackle. I kept walking forward in the baking hot sun feeling dehydrated and exhausted. I was about to give up hope when I saw a huge sand storm. I ran for cover when I heard a voice call out to me ordering me to stay put. The sand storm dissipated to reveal HER being the very eye of the storm. SHE patted me on the head as she walked out reek havoc. I did mention the tail and SHE said SHE will have it handled.
As I walked out I saw that the sand was turning into wet grass. The hot weather turned cool and soothing. Soon butterflies and birds were fluttering around as trees popped out of the ground to resemble a lush forest. I turned around to see a lake, a tent and a small campfire with a huge steak roasting in a cast iron skillet. SHE was already waving HER hands to say a rainbow should pop up and one did. I shook my head. She is literally ninety nine percent confectioners sugar in volume. When a light rain shower followed by a subtle breeze snapped me out of my daze. I have to get the heck out before SHE sticks rainbow stickers and unicorn kisses on me. It was as if SHE heard me and SHE gave me a look of annoyance. But since I refused to budge SHE pulled a sheet of paper and approached me. SHE stuck a sticker on my forehead and went back to work. I pulled out to see a unicorn flying over a rainbow. I dropped in disgust. Yuck. I opened my eyes to see a man in a messy wannabe cosplay outfit. I walked over and smacked his face as hard as possible. He rubbed his cheeks several times before he gave a loud roar and turned into mist. I scanned the entire property to ensure complete and total privacy. I made sure to search around in the dark since I know this place better than the back of my own hand. A few minutes of looking around I realized that I am completely alone.
I walked back to my workspace and put on my protective covering. This will ensure that no biological sample will transfer to my body hence no proof no crime. The woman had finally woken up. She was strapped down and gagged too. At first she was groggy but the moment she understood that she was no longer safely in her house. The woman started shaking from head to toe. For the fun of it I removed the duct tape and she started listing the things she can throw at my feet. I yawned as I retaped her. She made it difficult as she kept moving her head left and right. She did scream which was the highlight of my evening. Eventually I smacked her hard enough that she complied. I took my favorite knife and stabbed her repeatedly till she stopped moving. Then I dragged her to a vat of acid. I took the electric saw and chopped her into manageable pieces and gently slid her in. After she was completely turned into soup I flushed her remains down the toilet. I used the best products in forensic cleaning to make sure to remove every single residue of blood and guts.
I walked out to hear a drone hovering above so I had to hide till the thing moved away. The moment the thing cleared so I bolted towards my car. I drove carefully and the moment I reached home I was about to switch places with soft serve. I saw Brody's bike was parked outside and the view on the window tell me that he was helping the ward with her homework. So I decided to say hello. Brody shook my hand and he asked to be excused. The ward walked off to get a glass of orange juice. Brody asked me if I had taken her out of business. I told him that the infamous poisoner is officially deceased. He gave me thanks as he gave me a fist bump. I went upstairs to take a shower. After the shower I switched places and dozed off.
The phone was ringing off the hook. It was wombat. Gus's baby brother. After an hour of chatting he asked if he could come over and collect what Gus left for him. I said that I had already sent it with a friend and it will be delivered tomorrow at earliest but the next at the latest. Wombat thanked me as he recalled the days that I would come over and Gus would gush like a school boy. DD walked in and wished Wombat a wonderful evening before he laid down on the bed exhausted. So I hung up and massaged my husband's feet. He asked me if I was going anywhere. I shrugged, "I am helping Cheryl with her homework. I sincerely hope that the internet didn't eat the webpage she and I will be searching for. DD gave a light chuckle as he relaxed. Henry walked in and gave us a once over and told someone that we are not to be distributed. One by one the entire residents in this property snuck a peak before resuming their work. I walked out to make him spicy ramen and he ate the entire thing without flinching. So I drew him a bubble bath and made a few snacks for him to chew on.
The next morning after he downed four cups of dark roast coffee he blurted out that there is a spy in his office because someone has been copying his pitch and getting his businesses while DD walks home empty-handed. So I promised to help him find the perpetrator. The first thing I did after breakfast was go to his office and search the place for bugs. I found none so I placed a few bugs to discreetly and discovered one of his coworkers was the mole. The man was fired and was replaced in a heartbeat. I pitched a few ideas before I left for work. DD happily wrote down the entire list and started working on the logistics. I did ask for some canvas, paint and brushes since I was working with the purple hearts foundation. DD promised to help by painting a few brush strokes since I call him my lucky charm.
Henry happily drove me to the crime scene and wished me luck as he drove to get the items so I could paint. His wife was already cleaning out a room so I can focus without any sort of distraction. I walked to see a rookie was looking at me. He had a cup of hot chocolate and a double cheeseburger. I asked him if he was waiting for someone. He gave me the stuff and wished me a happy day. I asked what was going on and Decker said that the rookie had a crush on me. Van Pelt gave me a teasing wink, "DD is getting a healthy competition" I shook my head and she chuckled before she told me about the kidnapping of a prominent woman in her thirties. It was the very woman that SHE had just disposed of just last night. I made a call to Tanya and had her start scrubbing any and all security recordings. Things are about to get ugly. Wish me luck.