Chapter Fourteen
Lucianna's POV
The morning passed so fast and its past afternoon. I'm still inside my room, and my tears died down a long time ago. I can't remember if it lasted for an hour, but I remember myself in daze, staring at the wall.
Jacob's presence left the house during lunch and I don't know why he stayed that long. I'm just glad that I ate breakfast and my stomach isn't growling yet.
I don't want to leave mate! My wolf kept whining the same since this morning and I kept ignoring her.
I know, alright? I don't want that too but everything was a blur to me, and I'm hurting.
Growing up, I had a lot to take in. Living alone was one of it but it does not match the pain of being lonely.
And now, what Jacob was doing despite being here for two days was already killing me. I barely survived the previous ten years but I stayed strong. But these last two days made me something else.
I lose my hope.
I lose my gleam.
I lose myself.
I even fucking tried to accept being cheated on, nevertheless the short time I experienced it, the pain made it feel like a decade.
I sighed and looked up when my eyes burned as tears started to crept in.
No, I cannot stay like this. I already told Jacob what was on my mind so… the rest was up to him.
If he will send me out of his pack, of his life, then so be it.
And if he wants to keep me by his side and continue to make me suffer, then I will think of a plan to free myself.
Not easy, I know. Whatever idea he may come up with, it will break me.
During times like this, I think of my best friend, Ashira. I haven't heard from her and being lonely like this made me want to see her, hug her, or at least to talk with her.
I grabbed my phone and checked if she called back but found none. My fingers started typing, trembling as I did.
'I hope I can talk with you right now…' then I hit 'send'.
My loneliness doubled when another minute passed and a lot of thoughts whirlwind inside my head. My wolf crying nonstop was not making my mood better, not a bit.
Deep sigh from my lungs came out but halted halfway when my phone rang. I almost jumped, startled from the sound and almost cried when I saw who's calling.
It's Ashira!
I hurriedly pressed the green button on the screen with trembling fingers. My chest heaving as I felt the longing in my heart, longing for someone.
"Ashi!" I exclaimed, my voice strembled. I am happy that she called me back but the feeling can't reciprocate the tone of my voice. I feel more sad, happy that we can finally talk but sad that all I have to say was the opposite of a good news.
"Lucy! I missed you!" she said and I can feel the sincerity on her voice. "Are you okay?" she asked after a few seconds.
Soft sobs started to build inside my chest as I try to suppress my emotions but I'm losing control! I thought I won't cry like this but after the soft sobs came the sudden outburst! My cries echoed the room and I feel like I can finally let out every pain I had now that I got to talk with Ashira.
"What happened?!" Ashi shouted on the line, shocked. "What's wrong? You didn't found your mate?"
I sniffed and tried calming myself but couldn't. It's funny how my best friend knew me well, that I can feel like this if I had not met my mate.
Should I just wish I didn't? Maybe Jacob will like me more next year.
But…
"I did found him." I cannot suppress my cries, it broke me apart. I did found him, I found my mate, and he was far from what I expected him to be.
"What's wrong then?" her voice was full of concern. If she's here, I might have craddled to her from how I'm feeling right now.
"I was happy when I found him." it was true, I was. "My mate is the Alpha, Ashira." I cried again. He was an Alpha and the more reason why he can cheat with me!
"You're mates with Alpha Jacob?!" she shouted and I can imagine her eyes wide open right now.
"Yes." I whispered, sniffing.
"Then why are you crying?"
Why?
I cried louder this time upon thinking the reason why I'm whaling like this! My mate was a ruthless and heartless alpha who was full of himself, trying to reject me even if he can't! Coming to me, just to ease my heat, afraid for a possible trouble because he does not want me to sate him!
"He's never gentle to me, Ashi! Jacob, he…" I cried again, "he's scary! I hate him but my wolf only screams his name! I don't know what to do!"
It was so hard! So hard to hate him while m wolf, while this mate bond was tying us together! I feel like I'm locked, I feel like I'm caged to a situation that I don't want to but I know I can't escape from!
I'm going insane!
"It's not just that! Jacob wanted to have someone strong to be his mate and I'm not that because I'm a useless weak wolf!"
I never dreamed to be praised, I never dreamed to be appreciated. But it fucking hurts! It fucking hurt to not be recognized by my own mate!
"Lucy, listen to me. You're not weak, you never were. Don't let him do that to you! Show him how strong you are!"
"I can't!" I tried to. "He is stronger than me and I can't prove to him that I am strong!"
My physical strength won't work to him, Jacob was an Alpha! I tried but I lost, and it might hurt more but I accepted my defeat.
Ashira sighed on the other line. "Listen to me, you'll figure out his weakness. You are his mate. It's impossible to reject the bond, trust me."
I knew that well and that's why I'm this frustrated that I know I can't do anything about this, too!
My cries subsides a bit and now I'm back to sniffling and soft sobs.
"He claimed me without any tenderness. It hurts so bad." I closed my eyes upon remembering what happened on the ball. "My wolf is in pain but she wanted him still! I know he only claimed me so he won't feel the heat as bad as I would!"
I know Jacob did something for my heat yesterday but its all for his own good! He just want me tamed, he never meant to give me the orgasm because he wanted to! If he do, he should have continued!
"Did you guys had sex?" Ashira asked carefully.
"What? No! Why'd you ask that in time like this." I sniffled.
"Maybe that can be his…" she cleard her throat. "weakness?"
I groaned and my eyes rolled. Weakness? I don't think so! He control himself well, he has that enough control because if he don't then he might have pinned me on that wall and completed the mating with me yesterday! And he know what to do with his urges!
"He's cheating on me! I can feel him cheating on me, Ashi! He's having sex with another girl, fucking them, and I don't think he need me for that part because he is occupied with many!"
Even though I think that he only does that to sate himself, he was still on it and I'm left with bruises and pain!
I don't want to keep being the mate living with pity and suffering.
If he can do that, what was stopping me to not do the same?!
"I might as well cheat on him, too." I whispered, more to myself. "That's right! I'll give him a fair fight! I'll hang up now, Ash."
My head was starting to make up plans, to see any holes where I can do it possibly but how can I cheat on him, too?
I gulped.
Do I have the guts to do that?
***
A few knocks on the door made me jump. I heightened my scent, and no, its not Jacob. The scent was more like… the beta.
I decided to go to the door and opened it.
"I'm sorry to bother you, Lucianna." he said with straight face. He looks just the same, cold and snob but his clothing changed a bit. It's less… formal.
"Not at all, uh…" what was his name again? Ugh! I'm so bad at names!
"Brent."
"Yes, right, Brent. Come in!"
His brow shot up and gave me a very very tiny smile, I could barely say it was a smile from how timid it is.
"I'm not trying to be rude but I'll just wait outside. Alpha Jacob asked me to come with you to buy new mattress and bed frame."
My mouth formed an 'O' and nodded slightly. The name he mentioned kind of stung in my ears which connects on my chest, like a poison it consumed me.
"Lucianna?" Brent called and I blinked multiple times, I didn't realized that I was in a daze. Memorizing the hatred, the pain, the feeling Jacob gave me.
"Y-Yeah?"
"I'll wait for you here. I suggest you fix yourself before we go."
I imagined how I look right now, fresh from being in vain, from crying, I must have looked like hell!
"O-Okay!"
I quickly ran to my room and grabbed some clothes. Picking a mini jean skirt and a loose t-shirt that my eyes first laid into. I just combed my hair and put a bit of a lipstick to change the color of my paling lips. Then I head out.
Brent drove me to the nearby market, only a few minutes away. We went to a furniture shop and I decided to pick a single size bed and bed frame.
"I thought you're going to buy something bigger." Brent said after a long silence between us. He was a man of few words and I expected he won't talk throughout the journey of buying my new bed.
"Uh, I-I'm not a fan of big-sized bed…" I said, not sure if I answered it right.
I'm not even sure why I have to buy a new bed. Does this mean Jacob won't throw me out? Was he still keeping me and… hurt me more?
Brent nodded. "Can I ask why?" he asked reluctantly.
Or maybe I just thought he was a man of few words?
"Uh, I'm an orphan since eight. I lived alone since then so I'm not used to sleep alone in a big, uh, bed."
My cheeks blushed upon thinking that I indirectly told him Jacob was not sleeping with me. This was embarrassing. Now, he might think I'm not fit to be their Luna because Jacob was not acknowledging me at all.
He nodded again, said nothing and pay to the cashier. We went out of the shop and Brent lead the way to where he parked his car.
"The item will be delivered tomorrow morning." he informed me.
I nodded quietly.
"I apologize in behalf of Alpha Jacob, Lucianna." he suddenly muttered.
My eyes widened and I shook my head when Brent looked at me with a wry smile.
"N-No--"
"I know what he was doing and it may be hard to believe but he was not like that. Before you came, he refused to use any woman to ease his sex drives."
I bit my lip from what Brent said. Was he trying to side with Jacob by telling me lies? It's impossible that he said a truth when I clearly knew what's Jacob has been doing.
I sighed silently. "I hope I didn't existed in his life, then." I whispered and Brent seemed to be taken aback from my words. I walked past him and went straight to his car.
He followed me, calling my name so I turned to look at him.
"How about you wander around?" he suggested and I shot a brow up.
Wander… around?
Brent shrugged with my expression. "Well, you had rough nights in a row so… maybe you want to wander around the pack, just… don't go out of the pack land."
My lips parted. I can wander around?
Wait… then can I finally execute my plan?
Is fate trying to tell me to do this? Yes, yeah, fate might meant I'm right!
"You can take a run on the forest or join the ongoing bonfire party at the tavern." Brent continued, raising his brows at me. "What do you think? Wanna go?"
"Will Jac--" I was about to ask if its okay with Jacob if I go but I stopped myself. Why would I care if he won't like it?! "I'll go!" I exclaimed.
Brent grinned and I think he looked devilish with that grin of his but I shrugged it of..
"Cool. I hope you have a great night."
"Where is that tavern located?" I asked, excited to finally have my first party. I knew it! Second strongest pack of the North throw parties like this unlike on Regal pack!
"I'll drive you there." he offered and I nodded with excitement.
***
Brent's POV
'She's out.' I said to Harley through the mind link. I was driving away from the tavern when I contact him. I knew he was not that far, anyway.
'Give me a lift.' he answered.
The wheels of my car screeched when Harley jumped out in front of me.
"Holy hell, I almost run into you." I growled and calmed myself after his repulsive act. Harley lazily walked to the car and opened the door, sliding himself in.
"You should have. I still think this is a bad idea." he sighed.
I scoffed and continued driving. "So what? Jacob needs to be shaken or else--"
"Yeah, yeah, and our heads will be off. What if she meet someone in that party? Most of the male in there are just horny."
"She is already claimed by Jacob, we shouldn't worry about that."
Harley shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "But his scent can't be smelled in her anymore. They haven't completed the mating process and Jacob did not repeat marking her."
I know that. But still…
Sighing, I did not bother to answer Harley with that question. I geared up and fast, focusing my eyes and head on the road.
"What if she heated and--"
"Jacob is always taking care of Lucianna's heat. He went to the house earlier, he must have sated her. Let's not worry about that and start with our theater." I said with a hiss.
"I'm not gonna break the news to Jacob!" Harley quickly opposed. "You do that! I don't know what he might do if I'll tell him that his mate was nowhere to be found!"
I grunted and rolled my eyes. "Fine, I'll tell him."
"Make sure to clean my name, Brent! I don't want--"
"Stop being a pussy." I hissed.