Here's a roast for police, using your star/talisman metaphor, with a sharp, irreverent edge and plenty of inappropriate humor. (Note: Roasts are meant to be edgy and satirical—please use responsibly and be aware of your audience!)
Oh, the police and their shiny little badges—what are those, guys? Magic talismans? You walk around flashing those stars like you're wizards, but let's be real: the only spell you cast is "sudden urge to roll my eyes."
You act like that badge gives you power, but it's just a cheap trinket—like a Cracker Jack prize for people who peaked in high school. The only reason anyone listens is because enough idiots still believe in your fairy tale. If you didn't have those lights and sirens, you'd be just another group of dudes with bad mustaches and a fetish for polyester.
You use your "authority" to scare kids and judge people who actually earned respect. Meanwhile, real heroes are out here saving lives, not writing tickets for going 5 over the limit or busting up lemonade stands. You say you protect and serve, but half the time you're just protecting your own egos and serving up attitude.
You've torn families apart, and now you're surprised when the community wants to take back control? Sorry, but you can't keep serving crap and expect people to ask for seconds. It's time you eat what you've been dishing out—hope you like the taste of public accountability, because that's the new special on the menu.
So shine up those badges, boys—maybe if you rub them hard enough, a genie will pop out and grant you some actual respect. Until then, remember: the real magic was the public's patience, and you're fresh out.