After drifting in that velvety abyss for what felt like hours, I began to stir. Something felt really off. There was a warmth around my chest… and a strange tingle.
Just five more minutes... I groaned inwardly. But wait. Why do my nipples feel... good? And heavier?
And that's when the panic started to settle in.
Should I open my eyes?
Can I open my eyes?
Didn't I... die?
The sensation intensified, and I cracked open my eyes only for a soft, involuntary moan to escape my lips.
"Oh… ohh… ooooh…"
The kind of moan I'd only ever animated before. The kind that gets me demonetized.
"What's… ohhh… going on?" I whimpered, surprised to hear my voice sounding less like a 6'4 muscular man who hadn't eaten in 48 hours for an intense marathon training fast and more like a breathy anime girl two seconds before a Patreon paywall.
"You've never responded this enthusiastically during a session, M'lady," rumbled a voice. A deep, gravelly baritone that vibrated the walls and, unfortunately, my spine.
Oh no. Oh God. What the hell kind of afterlife is this?
Tap. Tap. Tap.
A second voice, rich and commanding, spoke from somewhere beyond the haze. "Lenigeaer, you need not humor that creature. You are a general of ten thousand semi-shifters. You owe no courtesies to a lowly orc."
"Your Grace Vaun Hudseaggs Fester, forgive me," the orc replied quickly. "But surely General Lenigeaer sees something in me. I could be worthy… perhaps even as a mate-"
CRASH.
The orc went sailing through two stone walls.
"Silence, filth!" Vaun thundered. "Lenigeaer is not to be trifled with by the likes of you. She deserves a suitor of standing like me!"
I blinked.
Vaun? Wait… I know that name. Where am I? What just happened?
And then it hit me like a sack of improperly rigged breast physics.
Did I get violated? Am I… am I a woman?!
"Leni," Vaun said softly, kneeling beside me, "we've spoken of this. Please, in public, use my family name."
"S-sorry…" I whispered, my voice still embarrassingly soft.
He smiled, eyes flicking briefly toward the pile of rubble where the orc groaned. "I appreciate the sentiment, but remember your role. You are the head of the Irelsshide branch, a general of rank. Don't let them forget it or think you've grown... fond."
I tried to nod, but my brain was lagging behind my body.
Okay... let's piece this together. I died. I got reincarnated. Obvious isekai setup. Cool, cool. But...
Why do I still look human?
Why am I chained to an iron bed in a stone chamber that smells like blood and mold?
And more importantly—
WHY DO I HAVE TITS?
Big ones. Unreasonably perky. I poked one experimentally.
Boing.
A jolt of pleasure shot down my spine. I gasped.
"Eek!"
Vaun's expression remained stone-cold, but I caught the tiniest twitch in his lip.
Did he hear that? Maybe if I do it again...
Poke.
Poke poke.
"Ah mmh! Ehh!"
"Leni," Vaun said without turning, "if you keep doing that, I will act on it. And when I do, you won't be walking correctly for a few days."
I froze.
"...That's what I thought," he added, a satisfied grin creeping onto his face.
Note to self: Do not test the man with the eyepatch and murder arms who just threatened to fuck me silly.
We stepped out of what was more of a "medieval dungeon covered in surgical tools." Chains still clinked behind me. Blood-stained carts. A door made of iron bars. Broken walls. This was a damn horror movie set.
"So…" I whispered, "where... exactly... am I?"
"You're recovering from your monthly inspection," Vaun replied calmly. "The Demon King requires routine evaluations of nobles and generals to ensure none of us are hoarding power."
"Right… right. And the orc? Was that… normal?"
"Every estate hires its own Inspectors. Ours is a disgusting beast who likely slipped you something to dull your senses. I'll have him flogged later." He paused. "Or not. Depends on how I'm feeling."
"Right..."
No big deal. Just drugged and fondled in a sex dungeon after reincarnation. Happens to the best of us.
"And my... uh... condition?" I glanced downward.
"Your form?" Vaun said, raising a brow. "You've always been beautiful, Leni."
That doesn't help.
I scratched my head. "And what exactly are we to each other?"
That made him pause. His eyes darkened slightly. "You don't remember?"
"I um. Still woozy. Pill, remember?"
He nodded slowly. "We are not siblings, if that's what you fear. You are Lady Lenigeaer Irelsshide Fester, of the Irelsshide demon lineage. General of the 4th Host. I am Vaun Hudseaggs Fester, your distant cousin through alliance. Think of me as an advisor, protector, and... potential consort."
Potential, what now?!
"Oh," I said aloud. "Cool. Casual."
Consort? As in... hot, emotionally stunted man-slave who may or may not want to rail me through a castle wall?
I muttered. "And, uh... if I'm a girl now… does that mean I like... dudes?"
Vaun stopped at the threshold of the stairs, looking back with a slight smirk.
"I'm sorry, what was that?"
I gulped. "Nothing!"
This world is weird.
And with that, we left the dungeon behind, sunlight breaking through the misty spires of the tower above. Somewhere in the distance, bells tolled over the estate.
My estate.
I had boobs, a bodyguard-turned-potential-lover, political power, and absolutely zero idea what the hell was going on.
One thing was clear: I wasn't in Kansas anymore.