Nighttime in Musutafu was a different world.
The streets emptied, neon signs flickered, and the occasional hero patrol passed by, strutting around like they owned the place.
Which, to be fair, they kinda did.
And me?
I was supposed to be at home, doing homework.
But nooo.
"Boss," Shun whispered, crouched behind a trash bin. "Target confirmed. The late-night convenience store on 4th street."
"I didn't agree to this," I hissed.
"You said yesterday, 'we should make a move soon'."
"I meant move on with our lives!"
But it was too late.
Kuroha appeared beside me like a ninja in black, holding a crowbar.
"I disabled the cameras," she mumbled.
Rikiya flexed his massive arms. "Time to make history, Boss."
And somehow, there were ten other random guys I'd never even met before in matching blue armbands, crouched behind parked cars.
Where the hell did they keep coming from!?
"This is a bad idea," I groaned.
"Boss, you're a genius," Shun said, sparkling with admiration. "A small-time hit to build up our rep. Classic villain move."
I wasn't a villain!
But as I opened my mouth to object, a loud BOOM rang out nearby — probably some hero busting another petty thief.
My heart jumped.
I could technically run.
I had my phoenix powers. I could fly away, ditch these guys, and start fresh somewhere else.
But then Kuroha tugged my sleeve.
Her eyes, usually half-lidded and distant, looked almost… hopeful.
"We're counting on you, Boss."
…Crap.
"Fine," I muttered. "But we do this clean. No hurting anyone. Got it?"
They all saluted.
**
Five minutes later, we crept up to the tiny 24-hour store.
The clerk inside was a scrawny guy wearing headphones and watching anime on his phone behind the counter.
Didn't even notice us.
"Alright, move in," Shun whispered.
And like cockroaches in a kitchen, the squad scattered inside.
It was pathetic.
Kenta tripped over a snack rack.
Rikiya tried to quietly flex and knocked over a tower of cup noodles.
I facepalmed.
This was the worst villain group in history.
"Just… grab what you want and go," I sighed.
I wasn't even gonna call it a crime at this point.
More like… unlicensed late-night shopping.
I grabbed a melon soda.
And some potato chips.
And one of those meat buns from the heated counter.
"You're a true mastermind, Boss," Shun said, piling up instant curry packs.
"I swear to god, this isn't villainy."
But then Kuroha pulled out a thick envelope from under the counter.
"Boss. I found the cash."
I froze.
Okay — technically, this was the line.
"Put it back," I whispered.
She blinked. "But… isn't this the whole point?"
"No, the point was to—"
BEEP BEEP
I turned just in time to see the clerk notice us and scream.
"V-V-Villains!!"
Ah, hell.
And then my body moved on its own.
Blue flames burst from my back as phoenix wings spread out, lighting up the tiny store like a festival.
The guys froze.
The clerk fainted.
I grabbed everyone by the collars and bolted through the roof, carrying like six people at once.
We landed three streets away in an alley.
Shun collapsed, eyes wide. "Boss… you saved us. With your majestic phoenix wings."
"I—I wasn't trying to save anyone, I just panicked!"
Kuroha handed me the envelope. "Got the cash."
I groaned. "We're putting it back."
"No can do, Boss. The store's surrounded now."
Rikiya peeked out of the alley. "Three heroes on the scene."
Fantastic.
Now I was a wanted criminal.
Over a meat bun and melon soda.
**
We spent the rest of the night hiding under a bridge.
The squad thought it was part of my brilliant plan.
"Boss, we'll spread word of your legend. The Blue Phoenix strikes again," Kenta grinned.
I slumped against a wall.
Was this my life now?
A teenage villain boss by accident?
Leading a bunch of weirdos who thought I was some criminal genius?
I sipped my melon soda and sighed.
"…Fine. But next time, no cash. Only snacks."
"Yessir!" they cheered.
Yeah.
I was doomed.