"That's good," Yoo Joonghyuk let out another chuckle and Kim Dokja wanted to be mad at him, annoyed in the least, but with that large hand going from a gentle tap tap, to resting on top of his head, he couldn't bring himself to get even remotely bothered.
"I'm not a kid," Kim Dokja mumbled.
"I'm aware?" Yoo Joonghyuk said, mildly confused.
But he was treating him like one!
Kim Dokja knew he was a little touch starved but seriously? Why was he reacting this way? Sure, no one had ever given him head pats before, but this was so fucking ridiculous.
He couldn't tell if the warmth he felt on his head was because of Yoo Joonghyuk's hand or because his face was on fire.
"You said you didn't mind," Yoo Joonghyuk was saying and Kim Dokja forced himself to pay attention to his words and not just his voice.
"I don't," Kim Dokja croaked. ". . .I'm still getting used to it."
"I should do it often, then."
No, don't do that!
Kim Dokja already felt strange, he was barely keeping himself together. He would end up melting into a puddle of goo if he kept this up. That saying was right, everyone was indeed a child at heart.
Yoo Joonghyuk seemed to notice his distress and decided to spare him, sliding his hand down his head and coming to rest on his shoulder.
Kim Dokja wanted to leave.
"Look at the time," he said, clearing his throat and picking up his phone from his lap. He was going to give some hasty excuse but he jumped to his feet, knocking Yoo Joonghyuk's hand off his shoulder when he saw the time on his screen.
"What's wrong?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked.
"I'm late," Kim Dokja gasped, shoving his phone under Yoo Joonghyuk's nose for a brief second before stumbling away from the dining table.
Yoo Joonghyuk had to consult the watch on his wrist to check the time.
"I forgot to check the time, I need to get going right now," Kim Dokja fumbled with the chair he was trying to push towards the dining table.
"Leave it," Yoo Joonghyuk said, reassuring.
06:18 wasn't a good time when he had to be somewhere at seven. And he had to take the train to his home first, get the present and then get on the subway again to Yoo Joonghyuk's flat.
God, what was he thinking?!
Talking over all the photos on his phone, he hadn't noticed that it was getting late, especially with the kitchen lights all on and well-lit he didn't notice the light outside changing.
"Today was great, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said, cursing inwardly at his phone battery that was in the thirties. "I wish I could've said goodbye with less rush."
He slipped his shoes on, shoving a loose end of the shoelace into his shoe. He'd tie it properly on the bus or on the train.
"I'm sure your friends will understand," said Yoo Joonghyuk.
Kim Dokja was sure too. But they were the kind to get worried and think something horrible had happened to him if he didn't show up on time. And at this rate, he was going to be at least an hour and a half late.
Oh, fuck, the kids. The kids were going to be so disappointed. And they were having a sleepover too, and he'd passed on watching over them in the morning.
"Bye," Kim Dokja opened the door. "See you...Monday? Whenever we see each other, I guess? See you then, Joonghyuk-ssi. Bye!"
Kim Dokja could just tell how this was going to go down. His stupid phone had the habit of rapidly eating up when the charge was little and his phone was probably going to die soon at this rate. And his friends were obviously going to panic when they couldn't reach him. He had to get a power bank the second he got home, along with Yoo Joonghyuk's present.
He texted his friends as he waited for the elevator and told them that he'd be late.
"Dokja-ssi."
Kim Dokja turned to see Yoo Joonghyuk making his way towards him. Did he forget something in his house? Kim Dokja patted his pockets, he had everything, his phone, his wallet, keys. Yeah, he had everything.
Even as Yoo Joonghyuk stopped in front of him, the elevator doors opened.
"I'll drive you," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"Ah, that's alright," Kim Dokja said quickly. "I already told my friends that I'll be late, so it's fine."
"You said seven," Yoo Joonghyuk raised his wrist wearing the watch. "You have forty minutes, you're not going to make it in forty minutes. It's going to take a while to reach the subway. I'll drop you there."
Oh, he supposed that worked just fine.
"Thanks a lot, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said gratefully and they entered the elevator, zooming down to the cellar parking.
"Don't mention it," Yoo Joonghyuk slipped his hand into his pocket languidly. "It was partially my fault as well. I didn't realise that it was getting late."
"How is that your fault?" Kim Dokja waved his hand to show that it was all right. "I'm the one to blame. I was the one who had an appointment to keep and forgot to check the time."
"I guess you could say I was just having that much fun," he attempted to joke.
Yoo Joonghyuk's expression softened. "I was too," he said.
This guy's sincerity was something he was never going to get used to, seriously.
"Is his place too far away from here?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, getting out of the elevator that had opened its doors with a lively chime.
"A little," Kim Dokja answered truthfully. "And I have to go to my place first. I have to take his gift, and his place is closer from there though, so that's...alright, I guess."
It's the trains that were the issue. If he missed one, he'd have to wait for the next one and that might have him missing the next train and getting even more late.
He'll have to tell them to get on with the cake-cutting without him.
Kim Dokja took in the cellar parking lot of Yoo Joonghyuk's apartment complex for the first time.
It was a little strange. There were far too few cars for an apartment complex, at least when compared to what he'd seen at Han Sooyoung's and Yoo Joonghyuk's place. Though there was a lot of empty space, there were only seven cars on this level.
"How many units does your apartment complex have, Joonghyuk-ssi?" Kim Dokja said, following Yoo Joonghyuk's lead towards his car.
"Not a lot," Yoo Joonghyuk pressed his car key and the lights on the familiar car came to life with a beep. "Up until the top floor, it's just two units across the floor, so sixty-eight and since there are three buildings, a bit over two hundred in total."
Kim Dokja blinked.
"Only two on each floor?"
"Yes," Yoo Joonghyuk opened the door to the driver's seat.
Right, rich people. Must be pricey.
"There're fewer cars than I expected though," Kim Dokja said as got into the passenger's after Yoo Joonghyuk and closed the door.
For nearly seventy flats, especially belonging to affluent people who usually owned multiple vehicles, the parking lot held space for only fifteen cars or so? Did they have multiple parking lots? He'd seen only three levels on the elevator. How was it all fitting in just three levels if it was fifteen slots for each cellar floor?
Even if they were modest like Yoo Joonghyuk and owned just one car, it still didn't add up.
"I already have no use for these," said Yoo Joonghyuk, starting the car when Kim Dokja clicked on his seatbelt. "Did I come off as someone who'd own a lot of cars to you, Dokja-ssi?"
Kim Dokja looked at Yoo Joonghyuk questioningly.
"Seven should be considered a lot, shouldn't it?" Yoo Joonghyuk said with an amused smirk.
"Sorry?"
As he drove the car out of its parking slot and towards the spiralling pathway out into the open, Yoo Joonghyuk glanced at Kim Dokja.
"You meant as in the whole building?" he said, seeing Kim Dokja's confusion. "They usually park in the upper levels, B1 and B2."
"This one is B3?"
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded.
"That's what I was wondering," Kim Dokja said. "I mean, are there a lot of empty units here? It doesn't seem properly planned if it's just some fifteen parking areas on each level."
"It's twenty on B3," Yoo Joonghyuk clarified. "B1 and B2 have around ninety each."
"Really?"
"It is a big building," said Yoo Joonghyuk. "There are a lot of unoccupied units, but the parking space is sufficient. . .B3 just has a different layout, if that's what you're asking."
"Ah, it's like that," Kim Dokja said, leaning back in his seat. That made sense.
"Quite so."
The sky was a deep orange, pink and purple blooming above. The sun would set in less than an hour or so according to the weather app on Kim Dokja's phone.
"You didn't answer my question, Dokja-ssi," Yoo Joonghyuk said once they were driving at a steady speed on the main road. "How many cars would you say is too many?"
"Three?" Kim Dokja answered. "I can understand having two if you have two working members with the same hours and all. I mean, one is the standard, isn't it, if we look at necessity alone? Two, is understandable, a back up maybe. But three's pointless, no?"
"Hmm, I suppose," Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged lightly. "So seven is a lot, isn't it?
"Yes, obviously," said Kim Dokja. Who even needed seven cars?
"What impression do you have of me, Dokja-ssi? Why is seven too little for me?" asked Yoo Joonghyuk.
"Mhm?"
What was he on about?
They sat in silence for a few seconds, both trying to make sense of what was just said.
"I see."
". . .ah."
"B3 can be considered my personal parking lot," Yoo Joonghyuk put the realisation Kim Dokja had just come to into words. "Everything you saw there is mine."
Yeah, he'd figured it out. No wonder there were no markings on the ground indicating which unit each slot belonged to.
"I still think anything from three onwards is a lot," Kim Dokja said wearily.
"And here I was, thinking you're really modest," Kim Dokja sighed. "With just one car, valuing functionality over everything."
Yoo Joonghyuk smiled a little.
"I've only seen you in this one though," said Kim Dokja.
"I mostly use this one," Yoo Joonghyuk told him. "And two others, depending on the destination."
"What about the rest?"
"They were given to me, gifts you could say. And refusing them would have come off as disrespectful."
"Oh, you are modest then," Kim Dokja commented and Yoo Joonghyuk chuckled.
"Do you want one of them, Dokja-ssi?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked. "I have no use for it and it'll make the commute easier for you."
"No, thanks," Kim Dokja said immediately in a sing-song manner.
"Is refusing me your knee-jerk response?" Yoo Joonghyuk glanced at him.
"It's common sense, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja waved it away. "What use do I even have for a car? The public transport works just fine and I don't have a lot of places to be. Where would I even park a car at my place though? You've been there, there's no space. It'll probably get trashed in one night because the neighbourhood has one too many spiteful people. Not to mention, I'll have to keep the tank filled in, and then keep the repairs in mind. All unnecessary stress."
"Am I too pessimistic?" Kim Dokja said.
"No," Yoo Joonghyuk shook his head. "You're realistic. . .But I still feel bad that you have to travel a lot."
"It's not a lot, you know," Kim Dokja huffed pleasantly. "It's probably the only time I get out for something other than work."
"That's not a very good habit," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"And the sun rises in the east," Kim Dokja smiled widely.
He looked at the road ahead.
"But," he said slowly, his smile fading. "Where are we going? This is not the way to the station."
"We're going to your place," Yoo Joonghyuk announced.
Huh?!
"You can pick up your gift and then I'll drop you over at your friend's," Yoo Joonghyuk continued easily. "It'll be much quicker."
"You don't have to do all that, Joonghyuk-ssi! You can just drop me off at the station."
"It's long gone."
"Then drop me off here."
"See? It is your knee-jerk reaction."
"Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja started sharply. "You'll have to drive back again. It's unnecessary."
"Kim Dokja-ssi," Yoo Joonghyuk imitated Kim Dokja's tone. "Just sit tight and relax. I don't mind. And I'd rather you not stress about being late."
"It's a waste of time."
"Bring your head here," said Yoo Joonghyuk, taking a hand off the steering wheel.
"Absolutely not," Kim Dokja reeled back, plastering himself onto the door.
Yoo Joonghyuk huffed out incredulously.
"I don't think it's a waste of time, Dokja-ssi," he said firmly. "And open the glove compartment for me."
"I still think it's a waste of time, though," Kim Dokja complained, opening the glove compartment as Yoo Joonghyuk had asked.
"You're wrong," Yoo Joonghyuk said nonchalantly. "Get that charger cable."
"Does that work for your phone?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked when Kim Dokja got the white charger cable out of the compartment.
"Yes," Kim Dokja checked the connector.
"Good, there's a charging port by the armrest, here. Plug it in."
When had Yoo Joonghyuk noticed that his phone was dying? He was yet to get a notification for the low battery mode. Had he been clicking his phone off and on to check the charge without realising it?
His phone let out a chime once he plugged it in as Yoo Joonghyuk had instructed him to.
"Thanks," Kim Dokja thought he had to say something. "My phone would have probably died soon and my friends would have kicked up a ruckus."
"Do they worry that much?" said Yoo Joonghyuk.
"They're all like that for me," Kim Dokja held in his sigh. "They're generally normal, but get weird when it comes to me. I think it's because they know about my past and all that. It's not exactly the most normal thing."
"It isn't," Yoo Joonghyuk agreed.
"I think your cousin, Yoo Joonghyuk, and Han Sooyoung started it," Kim Dokja picked at his fingernails. "And they spread the worrywart disease to the others."
"They're the ones who found me at my lowest, in a way. And when they act all concerned like that, the others also came to think that I really need to be constantly monitored or I'll just end up dead."
"Like a hamster?" Yoo Joonghyuk said as joke.
"They call me a rat, but a hamster's a nicer way to put it," Kim Dokja smiled.
"A rat?"
"A rat bastard, specifically. . .I can't remember who came up with that, but it was either Yoo Joonghyuk or Han Sooyoung."
"Your friends are quite interesting," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja remembered something that had plagued his mind for a little while that afternoon as they were having lunch.
"Do you want to drop by?" Kim Dokja asked. "You can say hello, I'm sure they won't mind. They've been asking me to introduce you to them."
"Only if you want to," Kim Dokja added when he saw Yoo Joonghyuk's stony expression. "It's alright if you're not comfortable with it. I just. . .They're nice and I thought it'd be great if you guys ended up friends too."
"I'm not in dire need of friends, Dokja-ssi," Yoo Joonghyuk said, his tone icy.
"Yeah, right," Kim Dokja couldn't stop the sarcastic words in time.
Luckily, Yoo Joonghyuk didn't find it offensive.
"I mean it," Yoo Joonghyuk made sure to fix him with a sharp stare. "Meeting you and befriending you was unexpected. A pleasant experience, but a surprise nonetheless."
"Yes, and now I help you make new friends," Kim Dokja said, sounding cheerful. "I think that's more or less how you make friends, really."
Yoo Joonghyuk let out a deep breath.
"Dokja-ssi, may I speak freely?" he said.
Kim Dokja nodded.
"I don't really want to meet your friends."
"If this is about Yoo Joonghyuk—"
"No, it's not about him," Yoo Joonghyuk cut him off. "I don't mind meeting them, saying hello, but I don't care about making them my friends. I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I know they are great people, and I enjoy listening to you talk about them. But I'm not eager to get closer."
"I understand," Kim Dokja said, even though he didn't really get it.
Wouldn't anyone want to make new friends? And he thought Yoo Joonghyuk could really use some friends. Even if Kim Dokja selfishly wanted to keep the man for himself, he didn't want Yoo Joonghyuk to make that lonely expression like that evening. Kim Dokja knew just how nice it felt to have someone who always had his back and came to help when the need arose. The reassurance, the comfort of knowing that there was someone out there who cared about you was immense and he just wanted Yoo Joonghyuk to have that too.
His friends were incredible individuals who could brighten up even the drabbest of days and Kim Dokja would consider his life utterly pointless if he ever lost them. The day they left him would be the worst day ever and he was a hundred per cent sure that he would try to put an end to his life because there was nothing worth living for anymore.
Kim Dokja looked up from his hands and was surprised to see that Yoo Joonghyuk had glanced at him at the same time.
"It might sound ridiculous," Yoo Joonghyuk fixed his gaze on the road ahead. "But I feel like I'll lose you if I meet them."
"What? No! Why would you think that?" Kim Dokja said. "If anything, you'd have more of me, really. They've got tons of group chats called Kim Dokja Babysitters and a Squid intervention group chat. I'm not lying. I've seen it on their phones."
"Squid intervention?" Yoo Joonghyuk chuckled.
"Yep," Kim Dokja nodded. "It's their running joke, that I'm an ugly squid."
Yoo Joonghyuk looked away from the road immediately, his eyes roaming over Kim Dokja's face.
"You're not ugly," he said.
"I know," Kim Dokja stopped himself from laughing just in time. "It's a joke."
"What a strange joke," Yoo Joonghyuk mused.
"Regardless," the man said, his voice a little louder. "It's not the same, is it? Your relationship with your friends and your relationship with me?"
"How can the relationship between any two individuals be the same as another pair?" Kim Dokja droned. "Every person is fundamentally unique and that makes every relationship, in turn, unique."
"You start bullshitting when you want to make excuses," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "We both know that's not what I'm saying."
"You could've just let it pass, you know," Kim Dokja said idly.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, Dokja-ssi," Yoo Joonghyuk said, ignoring his previous comment. "If I get integrated into your friend group, I believe we will get distant."
"How does that even work, Joonghyuk-ssi?" Kim Dokja pretended to be unbothered even though Yoo Joonghyuk had just hit the nail on the head.
"For one, none of them know about your one-sided love for that cousin of mine," Yoo Joonghyuk shot.
Kim Dokja flinched.
"You're ruthless, aren't you?" he said waspishly.
"Not at all," Yoo Joonghyuk said blithely. "I want you as you are, Dokja-ssi."
Kim Dokja sighed.
He could see his familiar building draw closer. He was home, now he had to get his gift for Yoo Joonghyuk and a power bank, just in case. He also had to check if they'd responded to him. He'd put his phone on silent all the time he was with Yoo Joonghyuk and he didn't want to come off as rude, looking through his chats while he was still there.
"You're right," Kim Dokja said as Yoo Joonghyuk slowed the car down to a stop in front of the entrance to Kim Dokja's tiny apartment building.
"To be honest," Kim Dokja clicked his seat belt off. "I sort of want to keep you all to myself. It's a little weird, isn't it?"
"Not at all," Yoo Joonghyuk smiled, watching Kim Dokja open the car door. "I often want to keep you all to myself as well."
"We can be weirdos together then," Kim Dokja chuckled. "I'll be back super quick."
"Take your time, Dokja-ssi," said Yoo Joonghyuk and Kim Dokja closed the door with a nod, leaving the car behind and rushing to his unit.
He understood what Han Sooyoung's problem was now. Damn, why did it have to be on the third floor? He had to climb all of that now.
He had left his phone behind to charge, if someone called him he supposed Yoo Joonghyuk would ignore it. And if he didn't, oh, well, it wasn't a big problem.
Kim Dokja was glad he had already packed Yoo Joonghyuk's presents and put them in a cover before leaving the house earlier that day. He just had to grab it, check if it had everything and then get his power bank.
He was out of his apartment in less than ten minutes, hurrying back to find Yoo Joonghyuk's car waiting at the same spot, right in front of the entrance, probably blocking the whole street.
He broke into a little funny sprint. They did not want to get caught up with angry drivers, honking and cursing, no they didn't.
"You didn't have to run," Yoo Joonghyuk said when Kim Dokja opened the door and jumped inside, Yoo Joonghyuk moved his phone out of his seat just in time.
"Don't want to be blocking the road," Kim Dokja closed the door and put his seatbelt on.
"All set?"
"Yep."
"What's the address?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked, handing Kim Dokja's phone back to him.
"It's not too far from here by car," Kim Dokja said. "For now, just straight."
Yoo Joonghyuk grabbed the steering wheel and they were off down the road again, darkness falling and the purple swirling overhead turning a deeper shade.