Kim Dokja was being made to study again. He did not fucking like it.
"I've always been a horrible student, really," he said, hoping to give Yoo Joonghyuk a cushioning to fall on when he eventually let him down. "Please, don't hold too many expectations."
It was a folder that was way too large and Kim Dokja barely got through ten pages in two weeks.
Uriel and Yoo Joonghyuk were patient about it, but it was making Kim Dokja jittery. They didn't show any signs of disappointment, but Kim Dokja knew he would be disappointed if he was in their position.
Suppose, he took someone he considered talented from the streets and they ended up being average. It would be extremely disappointing.
Kim Dokja had to think of a way to make things quicker. Right now, the issue was that he didn't have time to read through the entire folder. . .Could it be fixed?
It could.
"Joonghyuk-ssi, do you have a PDF version of this?" Kim Dokja asked Yoo Joonghyuk one evening.
"Yes, I should think so," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "Why do you ask?"
"It'll be easier for me to read during my commute," Kim Dokja said. "I'm used to reading on the train anyway. This is taking way too long."
"It's alright to take your time," Yoo Joonghyuk said reassuringly.
Kim Dokja smiled back, thankful for his consideration. But he wanted this done quickly.
Uriel sent him the PDF and Kim Dokja downloaded it and read it every chance he got.
It was one of the most boring things he had ever read. He did not understand how people even went through all of this and this was just the basics of project management or some nonsense.
When was the last time he had given something so much attention? High school? For his CSATs? Well, he did have to take an online test after this, to get his certification so he'd better study up.
Kim Dokja hated studying. What the fuck? Why was he doing this again?
"Can't I just quit?"
"Nope," Uriel sang.
Kim Dokja buried his face in his hands.
"You sure look like shit," Han Sooyoung said when they met up for dinner.
"Why is that always the first thing you say to me?" Kim Dokja said, exasperatedly, sitting down next to Jang Hayoung who had moved to make space for him at their usual table.
"Because that's what I see," Han Sooyoung said simply.
"Where's Seolhwa-ssi?" he asked, ignoring Han Sooyoung.
"She has a night shift at the hospital today," Yoo Joonghyuk answered.
"Oh, right, she did say that, I forgot," Kim Dokja muttered.
"What's the box for?" Jung Heewon asked, pointing at the lunch boxes that Kim Dokja had brought along with him.
"I'm getting takeaway," Kim Dokja said.
"From here?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "And it's not good to put hot stuff in plastic containers, or something. Yoo Joonghyuk's particular about all kinds of strange things."
"Yoo Joonghyuk, the other one?"
Kim Dokja nodded.
"I'm going to his place after this," he said. "And he really likes murim dumplings. So I thought I'd get him some."
"Why?" Han Sooyoung asked.
"He's been helping me out," Kim Dokja said. "I need to get some Project management certification and I don't know the first thing about it."
"How's it going then, Dokja-ssi?" Yoo Sangah said, curious.
"I'll be honest, Sangah-ssi," Kim Dokja said with a weak smile. "It feels like I'm cramming for CSATs again. One of these days I'll end up crying."
They laughed at his misery.
"Keep heart, Dokja-ssi," Lee Hyunsung chuckled.
"Hwaiting," Jang Hayoung sang.
"How're things for you lot?" Kim Dokja asked. "I heard you're having a tournament soon."
Jang Hayoung nodded.
"Captain's being very strict about it," she complained. "We don't get a second's rest at practice these days."
"Lee Jihye's parents don't think she should keep doing this," Yoo Joonghyuk said quietly. "She has to focus on her studies, and her grades are no good."
"But she's more interested in gaming, isn't she?" Han Sooyoung said and Jang Hayoung nodded.
"She fought with her parents recently," Jang Hayoung said. "She went to Namwoonie's place, all crying, and since his house is shitty too, they both took the bus and came to my apartment and stayed there for the night."
"Is it that bad?" Yoo Sangah said, pityingly.
Kim Dokja understood where Lee Jihye's parents were coming from. If she scored little in her CSATs, it would limit a lot of her future opportunities and no one could say how the e-sports scene would change in a few years.
But he also understood Lee Jihye's point of view. She was being asked to do something she clearly didn't like and abandon what she was interested in.
If Kim Dokja was asked to choose a side, he would have picked Lee Jihye's parents' side though. They only wanted what was best for their daughter and were worried about her future.
"What is it?" Kim Dokja said when Yoo Joonghyuk pushed a cardboard box towards him.
"Open it," Yoo Joonghyuk said and Kim Dokja touched the box very tentatively.
The last time he had opened something, he ended up having to study.
All the tape seemed to have been taken off already, and it was pretty easy for him to push the cardboard flap aside. He tipped the box, his hand at the opening. Something flat hit his palm and he grasped it.
The object clutched in his hand, he slid the cardboard box off and placed it on the table before him. Kim Dokja stared at the laptop in his hand and put it down next to the nearly empty box. It still had the charger and stuff inside.
"It's for you," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"What's this bribe for?" Kim Dokja said anxiously. "You're not giving me more to study, are you?"
Yoo Joonghyuk chuckled.
"Actually, yes," he said and Kim Dokja threw his head back, slumping in his chair and groaning in despair.
"You have a few online classes to attend," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "As a part of the training program. You should quit your jobs, it's a waste of time."
Kim Dokja gave Yoo Joonghyuk a dull look.
"I can't do that," he said.
"Why not?" Yoo Joonghyuk said nonchalantly. "Just stay here, I will provide you with all you need."
"No thanks," Kim Dokja grumbled. "I should've run the first chance I got, really. . .Ugh, I'm going to cry. I really am."
"You always say that," Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "I've yet to see you cry."
"So, you'll let me go if I cry?"
"No."
Kim Dokja scowled at his mean, future boss.
"The next time Uriel Noona considers murdering you, I'll support her," he muttered crossly.
"You do that," Yoo Joonghyuk said dismissively. "You are the one rushing anyway. Not me. I told you, it's alright to take your time."
"I want this done with as soon as possible," Kim Dokja said, rolling his shoulders back and his joints satisfyingly cracking into place.
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at him for a while, then got up from his seat opposite him at the dining table.
"Let's take a break, Dokja-ssi," he said. "How about a walk?"
"Anything to get away from this, really," Kim Dokja said, pushing himself up to his feet as well.
The snow had all melted away and the weather was getting warmer. They walked around the apartment complex with the pleasant early March breeze.
"We haven't done karaoke in a while," Kim Dokja reminisced.
"Do you want to?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. "Or is it just an excuse to not study?"
"The last time I did this was for my CSATs," Kim Dokja complained. "And does the test have to be in English?"
"I'll help," Yoo Joonghyuk said.
"You better," Kim Dokja huffed. "I wouldn't have done this if you and Uriel Noona weren't all insistent about this."
"Dokja-ssi," said Yoo Joonghyuk. "Like I said, it is perfectly okay to take your time. This course is usually done over six months."
"I can see why," Kim Dokja grumbled.
"No one's coming after you," Yoo Joonghyuk said as though he hadn't heard Kim Dokja's little comment. "You can take your time with it."
"I am taking my time with it," Kim Dokja said. "If you give me a long deadline, I'll just dawdle and procrastinate anyway. I work best under immense pressure."
"What?" Yoo Joonghyuk scoffed. "Does anyone work under pressure?"
"Well, yes," Kim Dokja shrugged. "When you have little time, you get super anxious and that sends your brain into an overdrive, it stops your body from feeling too tired because it's working too hard on the task at hand. And you get things done."
"What a horrible way of doing things," Yoo Joonghyuk commented.
"It is a funny pairing, depression and anxiety," Kim Dokja nodded. "It is productive in the strangest ways."
"And then you'll end up burnt out," Yoo Joonghyuk said, a little vexed.
"Yes," Kim Dokja nodded. "Obviously."
"I do not like you overworking, Dokja-ssi," Yoo Joonghyuk said sharply.
"I'm not?" Kim Dokja said, confused.
"You are," Yoo Joonghyuk said testily. "You should quit your job. I don't understand why you are so hellbent on tiring yourself out completely."
"And I don't understand why you're so stubborn either, Joonghyuk-ssi, but here we are," Kim Dokja smiled widely.
Yoo Joonghyuk cast him an annoyed glare.
"Are you going to bring it up every chance you get?"
"Yep!"
Yoo Joonghyuk rolled his eyes and looked away from Kim Dokja's grin.
"Ah, I keep forgetting to return your scarf. I just remembered it," Kim Dokja said. "I should keep a reminder for it."
"Don't think I don't see that you're trying to change the subject," Yoo Joonghyuk caught him red-handed. "And don't mind the scarf, you can keep it."
"Why would I do that?"
"You don't have to," Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged. "But if you decide to keep it, I wouldn't have an issue with it."
"That's a little strange," Kim Dokja said.
"Is it?"
"I felt so."
"I see. . .Does it bother you?"
"Not really," said Kim Dokja. "It's just weird. Weird doesn't necessarily mean bothersome."
Yoo Joonghyuk nodded absentmindedly.
Kim Dokja couldn't meet his friends for their monthly dinner because he had to do a final cramming session before he took the online test.
Kim Dokja saw why people in higher positions got paid more. They had a shit ton of work to do. After this first test, he had to start working and get almost a year's worth of experience and then apply for another certification.
Not to mention this whole thing was paid—What the fuck? Why did he have to pay to take a test he didn't want to?
Well, he wasn't the one paying anyway. Yoo Joonghyuk said the company generally did it for all the employees that they were training. He said a lot, but Kim Dokja was aware that he was making an exception for him.
So now he couldn't even slack off. He had to actually put in an effort, no matter how much he disliked it.
Kim Dokja took the test at Yoo Joonghyuk's place. Yoo Joonghyuk sat him down in his office chair in his workroom, Uriel got him a cup of coffee, they wished him good luck and left him to it.
It was a three-hour test, with multiple-choice questions and Kim Dokja was having flashbacks to his CSATs already. Well, at least this wasn't based on percentile, but the actual score.
He could pass...probably...He just had to get above seventy-five per cent. At least seventy-four would save his pride, even though he had failed. If he ended up scoring in his sixties, he would jump out of the fucking window, seriously.
Damn, he hadn't felt this nervous in years. What the fuck?
Kim Dokja grabbed his head, barely keeping himself from panicking.
Why was he even doing this?
He reached out a hand for the coffee mug and took a sip, burning his tongue in the process.
At least it woke him up, mostly the pain on his tongue than the coffee, but he took a deep breath and got to the damn test.
If he failed, he failed. That's about it. There was nothing that would be accomplished by crying about it. When had life gone his way anyway? Right now, all he could do was take the damn test and be done with it.
It was MCQs anyway. He had a twenty-five per cent chance of getting the answer right by guessing if he got stuck.
"How did it go, Dokja-yah?" Uriel was waiting for him when he exited the room, having finished the test.
Kim Dokja gave her a weak smile. "Passed."
Uriel squealed happily and gave Kim Dokja a tight hug.
"Where's Joonghyuk-ssi?" Kim Dokja asked, the weariness of having taken the test falling onto his shoulders. He had to wait for a few minutes after submitting the test and then he got the results on his email.
Fingers trembling, he had clicked on it and nearly cried when he saw that he had passed and didn't have to retake the test.
"He went out to buy drinks," Uriel chirped. "We're going to be celebrating today!"
"Was he confident that I would pass?" Kim Dokja said, his lips stretching wider, Uriel's smile was contagious.
"Oh, yes," Uriel nodded enthusiastically. "He's got dinner all prepared too."
Huh. . .That was nice of him. Kim Dokja was glad he hadn't disappointed Yoo Joonghyuk's expectations of him.
"Noona," he said slowly, his grin turning into a smirk. "Should we prank him a little?"
Uriel's giggled into her hands, only glad to join the mischief.
When the security system beeped and the door swung upon, Uriel cried out, "Why did you take so long?" before Yoo Joonghyuk could even step inside.
"Make it quick, come on," Uriel said and as he took off his shoes, Yoo Joonghyuk saw blonde hair fly as his secretary turned the corner.
Making it quick, as his secretary had demanded of him, Yoo Joonghyuk followed the woman into the kitchen where Kim Dokja was holding a coffee cup in his hands, staring into it.
"Dokja-ssi," Yoo Joonghyuk called, placing the paper bag onto the kitchen counter. "How did you find the test?"
Uriel made a strange sound and looked away when he turned to her questioningly.
Yoo Joonghyuk returned his attention to Kim Dokja who looked like he was shrinking.
"I'm sorry, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said softly and Yoo Joonghyuk stiffened.
What?
Kim Dokja glanced up at him, his eyes glassy with tears and lowered his head immediately.
Wait? He didn't make it? But Yoo Joonghyuk was sure he would. As much as Kim Dokja went around complaining and saying that he wasn't a good student, he was pretty decent and Yoo Joonghyuk was sure he would pass the test easily.
"Ah. . .Well," Yoo Joonghyuk tried finding the words and Kim Dokja flinched.
No, that wasn't his intention. He didn't want Kim Dokja to feel so horrible about it.
"It's just a test, Dokja-ssi," he tried. "You can always take it again. It's alright. It's totally alright."
"But I've let you down, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja muttered.
"You haven't," Yoo Joonghyuk said frantically. "You could never let me down, Dokja-ssi."
"Does that mean you didn't have any expectations for me in the first place?"
"That's rig—Wait, what? No! I—Dokja-ssi, I'm saying it's alright to stumble a few times," Yoo Joonghyuk said, glancing at his secretary for help, but she was being very unhelpful at the moment.
Why was she making that expression? What was that even supposed to mean?
"Uriel Noona said you were prepared to celebrate, I am so sorry for not meeting your expectations, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said dejectedly.
"No, Dokja-ssi, don't—That's an unnecessary thought," Yoo Joonghyuk said, glaring at his secretary who had turned her back to him. "Consider this a learning experience. Some things are beyond your control."
"I'm sorry for being incompetent."
"You're not incompetent, Dokja-ssi!" Yoo Joonghyuk cried. He hadn't meant to say that! "A lot of factors could have influenced it. It has nothing to do with your talents—"
Kim Dokja bowed his head lower and sniffled a little.
"Dokja-ssi, no—I didn't mean to—" Yoo Joonghyuk floundered around, trying to find the best way to get what he was actually thinking across to Kim Dokja. He hadn't known that he was this horrible at comforting people until now.
"Dokja-ssi, please, don't cry—I. . .I didn't mean it that way. Please, don't twist my words and take a negative meaning out of it."
"I'm sorry," Kim Dokja mumbled.
No! That's not the point! He was making Yoo Joonghyuk feel guilty now.
". . .Do you want some water?"
Uriel let out a snort and when Yoo Joonghyuk turned to glare at her, he saw her clutching the kitchen counter to hold herself up as she shook with silent giggles.
She couldn't keep the silent part for long, she was soon throwing her head back, positively howling with laughter.
"I've—I've never," she managed to say between gasps of air. "I've never seen him panic like that. Well done, Dokja-yah, you're the best!"
Yoo Joonghyuk heard Kim Dokja chuckle behind him and he snapped his head back to see the man beaming up at him.
"We were just pulling your leg, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said cheekily.
...what?
"I made it just fine, eighty-seven per cent," Kim Dokja continued. "It might not be a great score, but I passed. We both just had too much time on our hands waiting for you to come back. I hope you don't mind our little prank too much, Joonghyuk-ssi."
Where the fuck did Kim Dokja's tears go? He had it in his eyes just a few seconds ago, what the fuck?
And these two traitors! Seriously!
Uriel would get her punishment soon enough. She'd better brace herself for all the work he was going to be dumping on her.
And as for Kim Dokja.
Yoo Joonghyuk raised a hand and flicked Kim Dokja's forehead. The man gasped in surprise and clutched his head immediately.
"I'm sorry," he said, sheepishly. "It was just a prank, Joonghyuk-ssi."
Prank, his ass. He was worried he'd made Kim Dokja cry. Tsk.
"So you've passed?"
Kim Dokja nodded.
"Congratulations," Yoo Joonghyuk said, holding in his relieved sigh. Oh, thank god. He still didn't know what to do if Kim Dokja had failed and was sad about it. "And eighty-seven is a pretty good score."
"It's all thanks to you two," Kim Dokja said. "My two wonderful teachers who got me through it."
"Oh, take some credit for yourself, Dokja-yah," Uriel said pleasantly, bounding across the room and giving Kim Dokja a side hug. "You've worked hard."
"I have," Kim Dokja chuckled. "I can't wait to finally enjoy my free time again."
"You did well," Yoo Joonghyuk nodded.
"Thank you, Joonghyuk-ssi."
Yoo Joonghyuk didn't think he could act like Uriel and hug Kim Dokja. And a handshake would be too formal.
Yoo Joonghyuk raised his hand again and this time Kim Dokja was on guard immediately. Yoo Joonghyuk couldn't help but scoff. He wasn't going to flick his forehead again.
Kim Dokja's eyes went wide when Yoo Joonghyuk placed his hand on his head.
The younger man blinked and looked up, baffled.
"I'm not a little kid, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja said, a little dazed.
Kim Dokja's gaze was a little disconcerting. It made Yoo Joonghyuk feel slightly embarrassed. But he braved on.
"I am just appreciating you," he said. Kim Dokja's hair was as soft as it looked. But that was neither here nor there.
"Umm...thank you," Kim Dokja muttered, dropping his gaze, his eyes darting around awkwardly.
"And what does being a kid have to do with this? One is never too old for head pats," Yoo Joonghyuk said. It was utter bullshit. He felt it as he said it, Uriel's unimpressed stink eye was proof of that matter too.
But Kim Dokja chuckled softly.
"You wouldn't mind if someone did this for you, then?" he said.
"I suppose so," Yoo Joonghyuk shrugged.
Kim Dokja laughed some more and Yoo Joonghyuk didn't really get what was funny about it.
He withdrew his hand from Kim Dokja's head and busied himself with the paper bag with the wine bottles he had bought for the day.
Even as he instructed Uriel to get the ice out of the freezer, and went to fetch the bottle opener himself, Yoo Joonghyuk, from the corner of his eye, noticed Kim Dokja tentatively touch the top of his own head, looking rather puzzled, like he hadn't really recieved any head pats before.
...That couldn't be. Kim Dokja was cute in that way. It was like seeing a puppy or a kitten, people would just want to pet and coddle him.
Maybe it was Yoo Joonghyuk doing it that made it weird.
"Did you find it uncomfortable, Dokja-ssi?" Yoo Joonghyuk said. It was better to get this dealt with quickly, dragging it on would only cause more problems.
"Yes?" Kim Dokja asked.
"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable with that," Yoo Joonghyuk said. "I'm sorry if you didn't like it."
"Oh—No, no!" Kim Dokja waved his hands. "I didn't find it uncomfortable at all. I have zero problems with you doing that. . .It's just a little unfamiliar."
"Unfamiliar?"
Kim Dokja nodded.
"Well, I'm used to giving head pats," Kim Dokja said. "You know, the kids. . .And technically, I am the oldest."
"Thirty-year-old men don't usually get head pats like kids, Joonghyuk-ssi," Kim Dokja joked. "It was just a little unfamiliar. You don't have to apologize. I didn't find it uncomfortable at all, and I don't dislike it either."
"I see," Yoo Joonghyuk nodded and went back to opening the wine bottles, keeping an eye on Kim Dokja. Uriel asked Kim Dokja to get the wine glasses out and Yoo Joonghyuk opened his mouth to tell Kim Dokja where it was, but Kim Dokja had already gotten to it.
As he watched Kim Dokja washing and drying the glasses, Yoo Joonghyuk realised that Kim Dokja had been at his place for long enough that he was familiar with his kitchen.