JAY-JAY'S POV
I stared at Mama while eating. She was also looking at me as if wondering what I was doing.
She put bacon on my plate. "Are you crazy? Why are you staring at me?"
I shook my head. "No."
"Eat now. Whatever you're doing, just eat."
I did what she said but still didn't take my eyes off her. She chose to ignore me. She was about to put a dish on Aries' plate, but my brother stopped her by taking the food away.
Almost all of us looked at him. I could feel Kuya Angelo staring at him. My mother didn't care and just put what should have been my brother's on my plate.
Nice. More food for me.
"Aries," there was a threat in Kuya Angelo's voice.
My brother stood up. "I'm done eating," he said, and walked away.
I just followed him with my eyes while continuing to chew my food.
"Hurry up with your food, Jay. Go inside with Aries," Kuya ordered, so I looked at him while still having a mouthful of bacon.
I swallowed hard before answering him. "No. What will you bring me?"
He raised an eyebrow, as if reminding me of what happened yesterday at Yuri's house. I just scratched the back of my neck before snorting at him.
I thought maybe he'd fight with me again.
I hurried with my food so I could follow my brother. He'd probably yell at me again for being slow. Until now, it's still a mystery to me what he does in the morning. At night he's a bit slow.
Maybe he's just taking his time. I'll definitely get back at him for that. I'll dig into him to get revenge.
I finished eating and said goodbye to take a shower. I had to hurry because I could feel Fate's presence outside my bedroom door. I hit my gums with the toothbrush several times because of the rush. I also used shampoo several times.
When I finished dressing, my socks were mismatched again, but I didn't care. I just grabbed my bag before putting on my shoes.
When I went out the door, Horoscope was leaning against the wall, holding his phone and staring at a message. I could have read it too, but he seemed to feel my presence.
I didn't say anything.
"Come on... You're really slow," he said, turning his back on me.
I snorted before following him on foot. We briefly said goodbye to Mama and Aunt Gema before heading out. My nostrils almost flared when I saw his shiny new car.
He got in, so I couldn't complain anymore. The air inside smelled of expensive perfume when I entered. Suddenly, I was afraid to breathe, worried I might damage the car with the air from my lungs. My butt got cold quickly when I sat down, even though the air conditioner wasn't on yet. I couldn't even pull the seatbelt because I thought I might break it.
I was too lazy to pull it.
"What's wrong with you?" my brother asked, noticing my demeanor.
He must have seen how uncomfortable I was.
"It's just embarrassing to move around in your new car," I sarcastically replied.
He immediately rolled his eyes.
"Get ready, brake the car and go down there."
"It might scratch," I insisted.
"It's just a car, Jay."
"That's brand new."
"It'll get old in the future."
"That the price is more expensive than my life."
"Not really. Your life is more important to us than this car," he said, and I smiled.
Naks, important yarn.
"Is it okay to do this?" I asked after leaning back and raising my foot onto the dashboard.
He immediately pinched my leg. I struggled hard before lowering my foot and touching the part of my leg that he pinched.
"I told you to sit down!" he said, annoyed.
Annoyed, I adjusted my seat. I also adjusted the seat belt before he started the car.
I don't know if the weather is really good or if the view from the window of my brother's new car is just good. I can't help but be jealous. I don't want to be complacent just because Papa is rich and I can get what I want when we meet. That's not the reason I want to be with him.
I miss Father. I want to be with him too. I grew up so hard that I couldn't get along well with my parents. It would be good if they were abroad working for my future, I would understand more. But it's not the case; it's just that they're hiding what's happening to me. I am being hidden from my father for reasons I don't understand.
Hide and seek, who bet?
I noticed the road that seemed to be going straight to school.
"Ella won't come by?" I asked, but I really wanted her to.
"No, she's already at school," he answered, and I simply smiled.
That's how the opening should be. Good news.
We were almost at school when we heard his cell phone. He tried to take it out of his pocket to look at it, but he dropped it, and it fell at his feet. I took the initiative because we might have an accident.
"Someone is calling, it's just a case number," I said and pressed the green button to answer, but at the same time, he shouted, "No!"
I didn't pay attention to him because my attention was focused on the person speaking on the other line. I stared out of the car while trying to remember where I had heard the voice. It sounded very familiar to me, but I couldn't place it. I won't deny that my heart beat faster and I felt cold. I knew inside that the owner of this voice was someone who had marked a part of my life. It was like I had met him and he left a wound and a scar on me... on me. I ignored him because the person on the other line said the next thing.
"Jay! Hang up the phone!" Aries yelled at him.
That's all I heard. ["You're not Aries."] He was silent for a moment. ["Is that you? Jay-Jay?"] I let go of the cellphone. At the same time, my tears fell, and my vision blurred. My head also hurt a little, so I bent down. Both my palm and stomach were cold. I didn't even realize the car had stopped.
I remembered something. A dark room, a small window, scattered things and boxes, broken glass, and blood on the floor. I could see a person, but it was blurry.
Aries?
I see Aries. It's part of my past with Aries. I need to remember what happened. I know I have a past with my brother that I can't even remember, like the incident with my fathers. I can't run away from this either and wait for the next season.
I need my memories of Aries, even though we're fine. I still want to know the reason why he avoided me or why he was angry with me. Maybe the reason lies in those memories. I have to learn to deal with it or I'll have to live with this fear for the rest of my life.
Remember well!
Even though my head hurts and my stomach feels like it's going to turn upside down from dizziness, I still tried to think about what happened. My breathing was gradually getting tighter. I tried to look back at the appearance of the room, the things, and the dim light from the lightbulb.
"Jay! Please tell me what's wrong!" Aries begged, but I ignored him.
I felt his hands on my arm, and he was trying to hold my face to make me face him.
"Breathe. Please breathe!" he added, and my tears fell one after the other. "I'll call an ambulance now."
He tried to pick up the cellphone from the floor, but I stepped on it to stop him. I closed my eyes and went back to the new memories in my mind. I still can't remember; the events are not complete. It's like a puzzle, but one piece is missing to complete the image.
Think carefully, even if you don't have a mind.
What's missing? In that room, we were locked up. The one who imprisoned us - Aries' real father. We tried to run away, but we were caught. There were handcuffs and a lot of blood. We fought even when we were hurt. There was broken glass, and I got stabbed... I got stabbed.
There is...
I was stunned. I looked up before covering my mouth in surprise. My earlier tears, caused by dizziness and pain, were replaced by tears from mixed emotions. I stepped back while looking at Aries.
"Jay, w-what's wrong?" he asked me.
I tried to open the car door to get out. I didn't listen to his calls. I quickly walked in an unknown direction. I wiped my tears several times, but they still continued to fall.
"Jay-Jay!" Aries called, and I was going to walk faster, but he still managed to catch up with me.
He grabbed my arm, but I immediately pulled it back. I couldn't look directly at him.
"I-I'm going to school first," I said, but he stopped me.
"I think we should go to the hospital," he said and tried to pull me back to the car, but I just pulled my arm back.
"I'm fine," I insisted.
"Jay..."
"I'm fine!" I answered angrily.
I immediately walked away, and for a moment, I looked up when I saw the man standing not far from me. David was surprised and full of concern as he watched me pass in front of him.
"I'll take care of it," I heard him say, probably to Aries.
I took a big step to enter the school. I didn't care if people were looking at me because of my appearance. Even breathless, I still walked fast, even when climbing the stairs. I was still bent as I entered the room.
"Good morning, Jay. Good morning, Grandpa David!" Ci greeted happily.
I ignored him and continued to sit in my seat. My fists were clenched and rested on my thighs. I could hear what the others were saying, but not a single word was processing in my brain.
"Jay? Are you hungry? Do you want food?"
"Maybe you want some bread. I have it here."
"I want it!"
"Please!"
"You might feel bad. Eman, stupid medicine."
"I'm a cook, not a nurse."
"Maybe he had another bad dream."
"Maybe you're in his dream."
"Maybe he thinks I owe him."
"Gago, pay now."
"Let him think again first."
"Perhaps lack of tenderness."
I heard their soft laughter, but it disappeared as my tears fell spontaneously. I was still dumbfounded, unable to accept the returned memories.
I got stabbed.
I know my behavior is bad. I don't lose a fight, and if I have to fight, I do. But stabbing someone is a different story.
"Keifer," I heard them call to the King.
I could feel them moving slightly away, and Keifer coming closer to me. He pulled a chair to sit next to me. He held my hand, but I didn't remove it; it was clenched and placed on my thigh.
"Hey... I'm ready to listen."
My tears fell faster. My breathing became deeper. I was still bent and stunned. I couldn't look at him because he might not understand what I had to say. But I wanted to tell him because I didn't know what to do. My conscience was eating me.
"I-I have... remembered," I started.
"From your past? Another bad memory?" he asked worriedly.
I nodded. "About Aries and me."
I tried to hold back my sobs but failed several times.
"Jay?" Ci called worriedly.
"Hey, it's okay. Don't rush. Take it slow," said Keifer as he held my face to turn it toward him, but when our eyes met, I couldn't stop crying loudly.
He immediately hugged me and leaned my head on my chest.
"I remember... what I did to him," I said, almost like I was reporting him. "That's why he's mad at me," I cried.
Now it was clear that he was angry with me.
He has a right to be angry, and I shouldn't have complained. I shouldn't have been angry with him. I should just accept the hurtful words he said. After all, what he did to me still wasn't enough compared to what I did to him. He could hurt me physically, and maybe I would accept it more easily in my heart. He is free to do those things.
That's why he doesn't want to be with me at home. That's why he always thinks badly of me. That's why he seems to want to erase me from his life. That's why he hid the fact that we were siblings. That's why...
"I-I stabbed him... I almost killed him," I wailed, as the sight of him lying on the floor surrounded by his own blood came back to me. "I attempted to take my brother's life!"
Keifer's hug tightened, and I could feel the snakes approaching.
"You didn't mean it. I know you. You wouldn't go that far," he tried to ease my feelings, but it didn't matter.
But I did it anyway.
"And there's a reason.
I want to remember the reason, but I still can't change the fact that I tried to hurt him. I still stabbed him, not just once. I can still hear his voice pleading with me. I don't understand why I didn't listen to him.
Why did I do that?
I continued crying. If earlier I wanted that memory to return, now I want it to disappear again. I want to erase that from my mind. I don't know if I can face Aries.
It is very difficult for him. He has to be with the person who attempted to take his life. He has to hold back his anger every day he sees me. And in the end, he forgave me, even though he shouldn't have. He could have stayed angry with me, and I would have accepted that better than thinking about what he experienced while we were together at home and carrying the pain of what I did.
As for me, I still feel bad for him. Little did I know that I almost killed him. If only I had known, if only I had an idea, if only someone had told me.
"I-I can't face Aries anymore."
"Sshh... You need to talk to him," Keifer said gently.
I immediately shook my head. "I don't want to. I can't."
"Okay, I won't insist, but please don't make a decision when you're full of emotion," he said, combing my hair before kissing my head. "You're still confused because of what you remembered. You need to breathe first."
I tried to calm down, as he said, but I still couldn't stop crying. He just let me, and in our position, I felt that the Ulupongs were watching us but remained silent out of respect until I calmed down.
Yuri handed me a tissue, and David handed me a bottle of water. It looked like he had just gone out to buy it.
It still bothered me.
"Your brother wants to know if you're okay now," David said, and I looked at him. "I'm just saying, you look better."
I nodded and thanked him. I didn't know what to say to him when we met. I would prefer if we didn't meet later.
I don't want to go home.
"I'm confused. What were you saying earlier?" Ci asked but immediately got a bump from Eren.
"You'll feel it. What happened is still fresh; don't remind me yet," Eren said, shaking his head.
"It's fine."
"I think you should tell him," Keifer suggested, but I quickly shook my head. "He will understand, trust me."
I didn't know if I should tell him. I looked at everyone around me, obviously waiting for what I had to say. They were the same Snakes who hid from me back then, but they were also the same Snakes who recovered and proved they deserved forgiveness. They were the Snakes who stood by me in pranks, fights, and fun. They had confidence in me, and I should have the same confidence in them.
I turned to Keifer, and he smiled at me, reassuring me that it was fine. I nodded slightly in response.
"I-I already mentioned that there are things that happened to me that I can't remember," I started, followed by telling them the story of what happened earlier inside Aries' car.
But that's not all. I also told them about my situation and what happens to me when I see blood - the changes, and how I feel. I tried to explain it to them properly. I was afraid of what they would think and how they might judge me, but if I don't try, I'll never know.
I just hoped they would understand.
They had different reactions after I told the story. It was quiet.
I was afraid of their judgment, so I quickly looked at Keifer and then at Yuri, who was behind him. He was full of concern, but like me, he just waited for their response.
"Jay..." Ci-N called me, getting nervous. "I'm not surprised anymore, because you're really crazy to think that." He couldn't finish his sentence because of David's resistance.
"Be careful with your words," David warned, his voice threatening.
But I won't deny that what Ci said made me smile a little. I knew he was just trying to cheer me up.
"It's just a joke!" Ci added with a snort.
"It's okay. I know, Ci. I know it's just a joke," I replied and smiled at him.
"But seriously, that's why you did that when my group and Mykel fought. It's like you didn't hear me because there really is a problem," he reminded me, and I bowed slightly.
He had actually seen me lose it. I thought he had lost his mind because he didn't bother to ask.
"That's why you reacted like that when I got stabbed. Because you're afraid of blood," Rory added.
"If you are afraid of blood, how do you handle your monthly period?" Drew asked, receiving a soft slap from Denzel.
"Fix it," Denzel said irritably.
"Disgusting. That's stupid."
"Is Jay-Jay on her period?"
"Probably."
I bowed down in shame but couldn't help but laugh out loud. They really are vipers.
I just wanted to cry. Please!
"Enough!" Keifer shouted, and they fell silent.
"What's with the monthly period talk? That's where the conversation ended," David said, shaking his head.
Drew was about to answer, but I went ahead of him to keep him quiet.
"I was just looking for a moment," I said, and they nodded, though Drew still received a crisp slap from them.
"You, Kit, when is your period?" Mayo shouted, and we all laughed out loud.
They really are snakes.