School felt even worse today. It's strange how you can be surrounded by so many people and still feel like no one sees you. I walked into class this morning and it was like I didn't exist. Everyone was busy talking about a party someone was having over the weekend. I wasn't invited.
Not like I expected to be, but it still hurt.
I sat at my desk quietly, hoping Ire would at least glance my way, but she didn't. She was busy with her new squad, telling them something that made them all burst into laughter. I tried to imagine what was so funny. Maybe a joke about someone's shoes… maybe about me.
The worst part is, Bryant was sitting just two seats away, but it felt like he was miles from me. I kept stealing quick glances at him, hoping our eyes would meet. They never did.
During break, I went to the library. It's the one place no one really bothers you. I sat by the window and watched the trees outside sway in the wind. Even the wind looked freer than me.
A group of girls walked in, their voices loud and cheerful. I recognized them — classmates who've never once spoken to me. As they passed my table, one of them whispered something and they all giggled. I don't know if it was about me. Maybe it wasn't. But my brain decided it was.
I used to be a part of something. I used to have people. Now I'm just… here. A shadow sitting at the edge of every conversation, never invited in.
When the bell finally rang for closing, I was the first to leave. I walked home alone, my footsteps echoing in my ears. No one called after me. No one asked where I was going. No one cared.
And tonight, like yesterday, I'm back in my room with my diary. The only one who listens.
Dear Diary,I don't think anyone sees me anymore. I sit in a room full of people, and it's like I'm invisible. Like a ghost.Maybe it's easier this way.Maybe if no one sees me, no one can hurt me.
– Amiya