Shin paid no attention to Tsunade's reaction. He hung his head low, full of self-mockery, and continued speaking, "It's just that I was in the Konoha Hospital, and ANBU are still Konoha's ninjas. The Third Hokage would consider the consequences, he wouldn't let them make a move against me in public."
"So they were probably waiting for me to leave the hospital, planning to stage an 'accident' on my way home. And then it suddenly became clear to me why he decided to act against me without any warning. Because my death is more beneficial to the village."
"Every ANBU is an elite of the village. Having four of them monitor a civilian like me is an enormous waste, it's simply not worth it. Anyway, it's been two years since I was expelled from the Uchiha clan. If I suddenly died in an 'accident' now, no one would care. No one would pay attention."
"Restless and anxious, I did something."
"I took a poison once used by Suna and spent four hours racing against time to develop an antidote. Then I happily shared it with everyone around me. I knew those watching me would report it, but at that moment, I desperately hoped the news would reach the higher-ups—faster, as fast as possible. Because I had no idea when the ANBU's execution blade would fall upon me. That day, after work, I didn't go home. I chose to stay and work through the night."
"I was waiting, for a turning point. And I prayed that the higher-ups in Konoha would see my value because of this and halt their plan to eliminate me. Early the next morning, someone suddenly informed me to go to the Pharmaceuticals Department. Koharu summoned me and gave me a vial of poison."
"Her first words were: You evil little Uchiha, you have four hours to create a new antidote. Otherwise, you will die."
"I did it. So, as you can see, I temporarily escaped danger. I naively thought that as long as I kept proving my worth, I could keep living. That's when you showed up, challenging me out of nowhere. The moment I saw your incredible talent, I panicked."
"Because I saw my own future, if one day you defeated me, it would mean I was no longer irreplaceable. Those people already wanted to get rid of me. If that day came, would I still have a way to survive? So night after night, I stayed up studying medicine, studying medical ninjutsu, racking my brain just to avoid being overtaken by you, only then could I continue living."
"At the same time, I couldn't understand, why were you so fixated on me? I don't remember ever harming you. Why were you so intent on sending me to my death?"
Shin's emotions grew more and more intense, beyond control, as he glared fiercely at Tsunade.
"I…" Tsunade, hearing all this, was already in a state of panic, having finally understood everything.
But Shin kept speaking, "After that first year of competitions, I defeated you again and again. But you didn't seem to want to let me go, you were hell-bent on continuing to challenge me. So I changed my strategy. I thought to myself, if I became ruder to you, if I insulted you, belittled you, provoked you on purpose, and hurt you deliberately… Maybe then you'd stop coming after me."
"At the same time, I worked desperately to treat patients and raise my reputation, hoping to build another layer of protection around myself. But still, you came after me again and again, swearing you would defeat me. I truly don't understand. What did I ever do to you? Why are you so determined to push me to my death, to leave me with no way out?"
"I beat you just to survive, what crime is that?"
"All these years, I've poured my life into studying medical ninjutsu, doing everything I could to keep you from surpassing me. Did you really think I was just trying to compete with you for pride or status?"
"I never had that luxury."
"To you, our competitions were just boring little games. But to me, each one was a matter of life and death. If I lost, I'd die. Do you understand that?"
Those last words, Shin practically roared out.
She truly hadn't expected any of this. She had genuinely just wanted to compete with Shin, and beat him.
If she had known earlier that he would die if he lost, how could she have relentlessly challenged him again and again over the past five years, forcing him to fight back?
In fact, starting three years ago, he had already been trying to avoid the matches, using many different methods. He even forfeited in advance before some matches, his tone sometimes carrying traces of sorrow and helplessness.
But it was her, every single time, who forced him to fight with every trick she had. The most outrageous time was when he, in order to avoid her, hid at home and pretended to be asleep.
In the end, she stormed into his home, dragged him out from under the covers, and hauled him to the hospital to compete.
"Ah, Tsunade, Tsunade… You're the noble princess of Konoha. How could you possibly understand my pain?" Noticing the change in her expression, Shin continued pressing her, "Your status means you've always stood above the rest in this village. But I'm different. The only reason the village lets me live is because I'm still useful."
"As your talents gradually emerged, and as I lost the ability to train in chakra, the gap between us in medical ninjutsu became smaller and smaller. During our 48th match, you beat me. That was the first time I was proven to be replaceable. Then you insisted on working at the hospital and became known as a top-tier medic alongside me, that was the second time."
"And now, without even discussing it with me, you transferred to the Pharmaceuticals Department and successfully developed a new medicine, that was the third time I was proven replaceable."
"Koharu had already turned against me. How many times has she wanted me dead? If she could, she wouldn't let me live even a day longer. And now, you suddenly went and told everyone that I am no longer valuable. That keeping me alive is just a waste."
"So tell me, do I still have any hope of survival?" Shin laughed in despair, eyes full of tears. "The most ridiculous part is, it was you who went to Koharu first."
"These past four months, I really thought we had become friends. Every time we studied medical ninjutsu together, I felt a kind of happiness I had never experienced before. I gradually began to accept you, to acknowledge you. But you… why did you hurt me? Why would you go so far to hurt me?"
"Do you really hate me that much? Will you not rest until I'm completely destroyed? Say something! Why won't you speak?" Shin raged like a madman. "I'm asking you a question, why won't you answer me?"
"Is it so hard to answer? Speak! I'm not a ninja. I'm just an ordinary civilian. I just want time to repay my adoptive parents. I still have to take care of my younger brother."
"I just want to live. Is that so wrong?"
At that moment, Tsunade couldn't speak a single word. Her tears were already pouring uncontrollably. Her body was completely paralyzed. Her heart felt crushed under countless boulders, all her emotions blocked inside, with nowhere to go.
She had thought it was Shin who had gone mad. But it turned out, he hadn't.
The one who had lost her mind was her. It was her relentless pressure, her actions, that had pushed Shin into this corner of despair.