He was even more afraid that Qiu Shuzhi would discover his hidden dirty thoughts, so he always tried to keep his distance from Qiu Shuzhi, to keep himself away from her.
But every time after he made up his mind, as long as there was even a little news about her, he would involuntarily approach her, just like a fish instinctively craving water. If he left that clear pool of water, he would suffocate and die.
He was filth living in a dark gutter, yet he foolishly yearned for Qiu Shuzhi, this bright light. He didn't dare hope for this light to illuminate him, he just wanted to look at the afterglow of the light from afar.
"Then this humble official will take her leave."
Yue Guanyi watched Qiu Shuzhi's back as she walked away, until Chang'an gently reminded him in his ear. Only then did he wake up as if from a long dream, and returned to the palace in a daze.
He took out a pure white handkerchief from his bosom, which was exactly the one Qiu Shuzhi had given him that day. He had always kept it close to his heart, never parting with it day and night, even when sleeping.
When he missed her, he would take out the handkerchief and sniff the faint cold fragrance remaining on it. That barely perceptible cold fragrance passed through his internal organs, merged into every drop of his blood, weaving an absurd dream for him, making him want to drown in it.
"Shuzhi, Qiu Niang," he buried his head in the handkerchief and called out the name he thought of day and night in a suppressed and seemingly cathartic low cry.
His gaze inadvertently caught sight of his own reflection in the bronze mirror on the dressing table, his thin and pale face, his obsessed and frenzied expression like a madman. Cold sweat broke out on him, and the bronze mirror fell to the ground.
Chang'an heard the commotion and thought something had happened, so he hurriedly came in.
He saw the usually calm and steady Crown Prince frantically searching for something on the dressing table.
"Your Highness, what are you looking for? Let Chang'an help you!"
"Where are my rouge and powder?" Yue Guanyi asked, pinching his arm.
Rouge and powder?
"Your Highness, you've forgotten, you haven't worn makeup since you returned to the palace."
Since Yue Guanyi had returned from among the common people, he had always gone bare-faced, never using rouge or powder. Why was he suddenly looking for these things?
Yue Guanyi covered his face in despair. The person in the mirror was pale and thin, with dark circles under his eyes, as pale as a ghost. How could he have let her see such an ugly appearance of himself? She must have been frightened.
"Your Highness works so hard for Da Qi, you've lost a lot of weight. You must take good care of your health."
Qiu Shuzhi's words from earlier poured into his brain, making him slap himself twice in the face. He hit himself hard, and his face immediately turned red. He couldn't even understand such a tactful reminder, and was still delighted thinking she was concerned about him.
Chang'an was truly frightened. He's gone mad, truly gone mad.
He hurriedly grabbed Yue Guanyi's hand: "Your Highness, what are you doing?"
"Go and buy me the best rouge and powder in the capital, quick! Quick!" Yue Guanyi shouted angrily.
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