After surviving his semester of seductive equations, Kwabena Darko now wiser and traumatised
had one mission:
Lay low. No drama. No flirting. Just math.
But UEW had other plans.
One bright Wednesday afternoon, as he was marking scripts under a mango tree at North
Campus, his phone buzzed.
A message popped up from the student rep of the Maths Club:
"Sir Kwabena, kindly honour us as GUEST JUDGE for the upcoming 'Miss Math Queen'
contest. Your expertise is needed. "
He laughed out loud. "Miss Math Queen? What's next Mr. Trigonometry?"
But... his ego got the better of him.
Besides, what harm could one small contest do?
The event took place at the Jophus Anamuah-TruthConference Centre.
Kwabena arrived in a fresh white shirt, chinos, and glasses that screamed: "I'm mature,
responsible, and immune to foolishness."
He sat on the judging panel next to a Lecturer from the Department of Early Grade and a DJ
wearing sunglasses indoors.
The first part of the show was innocent:
• Miss Lydia solved simultaneous equations live on stage.
• Miss Abigail recited the quadratic formula to the beat of Shatta Wale.
• Miss Efua (yes, that Efua) came in a glittery outfit and held a placard that read:
"Kwabena + Efua = ∞. Let's complete the square together."
Kwabena coughed violently and nearly choked on his bottled water.
Then came the Q&A section.
The host, smirking, asked:
"Miss Efua, if you were given a chance to solve any problem in the world, what would it be?"
Efua looked straight at Kwabena, smiled sweetly, and said:
"I'd solve the loneliness of one very brilliant, handsome TA who doesn't know he's the X to my
Y."
The crowd went wild.
Phones out. Snapchats. Laughter.
Kwabena's soul quietly left his body and went for a walk in Winneba junction.
To make it worse, the DJ played "Fall" by Davido as she walked off stage.
The MC leaned over and whispered into the mic:
"Sir Kwabena, it looks like you're the one being judged tonight."
After the Show
Efua won the crown of course.
When asked for her prize wish, she said:
"A dinner with Sir Kwabena. And he must come dressed as Pythagoras."
The laughter shook the whole auditorium.
Even Dr. Mensah, sitting two rows behind, slowly removed his glasses like, "Herh."
The Aftermath
Kwabena's phone blew up:
• WhatsApp groups renamed to "Team Kwabena & Efua Forever "
• Memes like: "When you try to solve equations but love solves you instead."
He received a formal warning from the faculty:
"Avoid any further extracurricular attachments with students. Or we'll solve YOU."
That night, lying in bed at North Campus hostel, Kwabena sighed and stared at the ceiling:
"God, why didn't I just study English or Agriculture?"
But in the end, he smiled.
Because at UEW, no matter how far you run,
X will always find Y.