> "I thought we were the main characters.
Now we're just reacting to a guy who wins boss fights with tea and metaphors."
— Issei, moments before his brain blue-screened again
---
[Location: System Administrative Core – Emergency Continuity Assembly]
A siren blared.
A celestial PowerPoint began playing itself in a flaming void labeled "PLOT ERROR ZONE 001: KUOH."
Representatives from:
Heaven (Michael, very confused)
Hell (Sirzechs, emotionally exhausted)
Fallen Angels (Azazel, openly drinking)
And Kuoh PTA (Mrs. Yamada, very angry about the disappearing student records)
All stared at one slide:
> "Subject: [REDACTED]. Alias: The Blank One.
Narrative Threat Level: Yes."
---
[Scene: Heaven's Breakdown]
Michael (reading report):
> "He exists outside prophecy. Angels can't classify him."
Gabriel:
> "He made a cherub cry by explaining that hope is just delayed disappointment with sparkles."
---
[Scene: Hell's Breakdown]
Sirzechs (dead inside):
> "He doesn't react to seduction, challenge, or divine incentives.
He walked through a portal meant for demon lords and asked if the tea had lemon."
Serafall (giggling):
> "I want him in my magical girl opening sequence."
---
[Scene: Azazel's Breakdown]
Azazel (projecting MC's image on screen):
> "This guy has no power signature,
no Sacred Gear,
no known divine lineage…
and yet has survived 7 romantic arcs, 3 assassination attempts, and a magical girl trial by glitter."
Kokabiel (from prison):
> "I tried to smite him once.
He offered me a book on emotional maturity and vanished."
---
[Scene: PTA Breakdown]
Mrs. Yamada (furious):
> "He doesn't appear in yearbooks.
His records are blank.
He doesn't even blink on camera."
Principal (sobbing):
> "He's my best student and I've never seen him."
---
[Back at Kuoh Academy – Meanwhile, in the Courtyard]
MC sat on a bench.
Feeding crows.
Reading a book titled "How to Be Less Mysterious (And Why That's a Mistake)."
The wind passed.
The world glitched.
Just a little.
Like it was unsure what genre it was in anymore.
MC (calmly):
> "They're trying to classify me.
How quaint."
He stood up.
> "Time to escalate."
---
[System Notification]
> Title Unlocked:
"Narrative Hazard (Lv.1)" – You now officially break genre logic.
Canon characters feel the plot warp when you're nearby.
Chance to trigger emotional exposition in others without speaking.
---
[Final Scene – All Three Factions Deliver the Same Message]
A letter appears in MC's desk drawer.
Signed by all three factions.
It reads:
> "We formally acknowledge you.
We do not understand you.
We fear you.
Please never change."
MC folds the letter.
Smiles faintly.
> "Too late."
---
End of Chapter 52: Logic Failed to Load