> "Experience doesn't make you wise. It makes you tired.
Wisdom is knowing when to drink, when to punch, and when to pretend you didn't see either."
— Tsunade Senju, sipping her third bottle before noon
---
[Location: Hidden Leaf Village – Mid-Naruto Timeline]
Tsunade Senju, Fifth Hokage of the Leaf, healer of nations, breaker of faces, and legendary gambler…
was currently sitting on the edge of the Hokage Monument with a bottle of premium sake and the vibe of a woman who absolutely didn't want to be here.
But she was here.
Because rest days were mandatory now.
By order of a goddamn interdimensional chat group.
---
[Morning – Drunken Avoidance & Administrative Evasion]
Shizune:
> "You've skipped five budget meetings, two shinobi assessments, and one 'Young Medical Talent Showcase.'"
Tsunade (sipping):
> "I'm showcasing how not to die of stress. That counts."
Shizune:
> "Naruto challenged Sasuke to a noodle-eating contest while holding live explosive tags."
Tsunade:
> "That counts as natural selection."
---
[Midday – Hospital Rounds (Reluctantly)]
She wandered the halls of Konoha Hospital like a half-resigned ghost. Patients bowed. Nurses scurried. Sakura waved awkwardly.
Young Medic (whispering):
> "That's the legendary Tsunade…"
Tsunade:
> "Yeah, yeah. Legendary for working too much and still getting blamed when things explode."
She healed a dislocated shoulder, stitched a forehead gash, and force-fed a Genin spinach.
Then paused at a child's bed.
The kid had a broken spine. Training accident.
He smiled anyway.
Kid:
> "Will I still become a ninja?"
Tsunade (quietly):
> "If you want it more than anything else. Then yes."
He believed her.
That scared her more than war.
---
[Evening – The Sake Reprieve]
Tsunade returned home.
She pulled out a small photo frame.
Not of Nawaki. Not Dan.
A new photo. Printed from the Chat Lounge.
Everyone was in it—posing badly, mid-argument, or just… laughing.
Even she was smiling.
How embarrassing.
---
[Chat Ping – Slightly Buzzed Response]
Tsunade:
> "I fixed ten bones today.
Didn't break a single one.
I think that's growth."
Kazuma:
> "That's a vacation record."
Rimuru:
> "Want a slime massage chair? I make 'em custom."
Deadpool:
> "I sent you a flask that dispenses therapy. It leaks."
Esdeath:
> "You're still the only one here who actually scares me."
MC:
> "Thank you for keeping people alive, even when you'd rather run."
She blinked.
Sighed.
And replied:
Tsunade:
> "It's easier to keep people breathing when they finally give you a damn break."
---
[Final Scene – Hokage Monument, Night]
She sat alone.
Bottle empty. Sky full.
She murmured into the breeze:
> "If you're listening, Shadow Boy… thanks for forcing me to stop.
But next time, you write the reports."
---
End of Chapter 20: Tsunade