At first, I thought Victoria was just messing with me.
Her temperament was so prickly and sharp that it was almost like a venomous snake coiled inside her heart.
There was even that time when we'd had a drink together, and because I'd called her "Saint" in a formal tone, she'd teased me for days, saying, "Yes, I'm your Saint, Victoria."
"Hey, Victoria. Did you put some kind of spell on me?"
"...Me? Are you out of your mind? Or are you just so overwhelmed by the fact that someone as beautiful as me is willing to be your lover that you've lost it?"
Victoria gave me a mocking laugh, her eyes filled with contempt.
But then,
• What do I do...!? It really seems like this contract dating thing is working! If she's starting to see me as a woman, what should I do...!? Oh, I'm not ready for this yet...!
A voice, filled with embarrassment, trailed off. The tone of her thoughts was completely different from her usual cool demeanor.
• Is this finally the reward for my one-year-long unrequited love? Thank you for the advice, Goddess...!
"Have you lost your mind…?"
I muttered to myself in disbelief. Victoria, the one who always argued and bickered with me, actually liked me? It didn't make sense. There was no way.
The Saint, who never hesitated to insult me, confiscated my alcohol and cigarettes—she couldn't possibly know what love was.
"I already knew you weren't normal, but I guess I'll overlook it this time."
Victoria let out a heavy sigh, placing her hand on my forehead. A warmth spread through me, soft and soothing.
"There's no fever… but did you eat something strange? I mean, with how much you drink and smoke, it could be withdrawal symptoms."
From an outsider's perspective, we looked like a couple, so comfortable with each other that physical contact didn't seem out of place.
We had been through so much together, crossing countless battlefields to defeat the Demon Lord. Seeing each other's bare bodies or putting limbs back together after they were torn off was nothing new.
• Her eyelashes are so long. How can someone be this handsome? Did the Goddess mess up when creating you?
The voice in my head was the complete opposite of the indifferent expression on Victoria's face as she gently placed her hand on my forehead.
"..."
"…? What's wrong?"
I stared at her, trying to find the source of the voice. This could have been some kind of trick to gather dirt on me later, a cheap prank to set me up.
• Ah, those blue eyes... I feel like I could get lost in them. I wish time would stop right now…
In the blue tower I used to live in, pranks like this, where we'd use wands or magic to mess with each other, were pretty common, so my suspicions were entirely reasonable.
"Did I do something to offend you? The whole contract dating thing was already fishy, but now you're pulling tricks on me, right?"
I carefully stepped away from her, trying not to disturb the flower that had bloomed on Victoria's body. It was a side effect of her miracles—an extremely sensitive area linked to her nerves. It was crucial not to touch it the wrong way.
"Why would I go through all this trouble for a guy as clueless and uncharismatic as you? Honestly, it's a completely pointless question."
Victoria, who had backed away slightly, narrowed her eyes and glared at me as if I was the one being strange.
• Yes, I'm scheming. I want you to understand my feelings…
Once again, the absurd voice echoed in my mind.
She was a beauty renowned as the most desirable woman in the continent, admired by men wherever she went. There was no way she would need to come up with some elaborate scheme to get a guy like me.
"…Dispel."
I couldn't wrap my head around it. Eventually, I even cast a spell on myself.
I wanted to believe that some envious person was behind this mental attack, perhaps someone who resented my relationship with the Saint.
I'd been praised as a genius from a young age, had been mentioned as a potential candidate for the next leader of the Blue Tower, but I never thought I'd find myself caught in such a bizarre problem.
"Is this an enemy's attack? If you're unsure, I can use my holy power…"
"No, don't use any miracles on me."
I stopped Victoria before she could cast a miracle. Her miracles cost her both body and mind to make the impossible possible.
"Don't cry at night saying you're in pain again. You need to save that power for more important times."
I was holding off on using potions and healing magic just to avoid seeing Victoria suffer. She'd been chosen as the Saint, but it was unbearable for me to watch someone so innocent endure pain.
The flowers that bloomed on Victoria's body with her miracles came at the cost of extreme pain.
I had realized this when I'd once found her biting a blanket, drenched in cold sweat, trying to endure the agony.
"...You really are the same, no matter what."
• That's the part of you I like.
"…."
Victoria smiled a small, satisfied smile, as if relieved by my reaction.
For the first time, I felt like something was falling into place.
"So, don't you think there's something missing?"
Standing next to me, Victoria gently tapped the back of my hand with her fingers. Her actions seemed to be hinting that she wanted to hold my hand again.
• If I do it this way, maybe I can casually hint that I want to hold his hand without it being awkward? I'm sure the romance books said to naturally ask for physical contact like this!
It was then that I realized for the second time that this voice I was hearing was actually Victoria's inner thoughts. I didn't understand the cause or the mechanism, but the emotions in her words were undeniable.
"I didn't realize I was neglecting my girlfriend's hand. I just thought it was cold, so I let go on purpose."
I blurted out those somewhat cheesy words and, just to test it, clumsily grabbed Victoria's hand. If the voice was really reflecting her true feelings, then I should get some kind of reaction to my actions.
"I thought you wouldn't have the slightest clue about this kind of thing."
• What do I do, what do I do, what do I do…
Victoria's breath was quick. Her cheeks were faintly flushed, and the warmth from her face had climbed all the way to her ears.
• I think I'm sweating... I hope he doesn't think I'm being a nuisance...
Her voice, tinged with embarrassment, made it clear that her hand was suddenly getting sweaty in mine. She seemed flustered by it.
At this point, one thing seemed certain.
Either I had truly gone mad after entering into a contract relationship with the Saint, or I really was hearing Victoria's inner thoughts.
"What do you even think of me?"
"A drunkard, a chain smoker, a master of magic, but someone who has absolutely no clue when it comes to women."
• A drunkard, a chain smoker, a master of magic, but someone who has absolutely no clue when it comes to women.
This time, the voice overlapped with her words. For the first time, her true feelings and her spoken words seemed to align.
"I knew you'd say something like that..."
I sighed, feeling a bit foolish for even hoping for anything different.
• But, you're kinder than anyone else.
Watching me, Victoria deliberately brushed her shoulder against mine.
"Even so, I think you're a pretty decent magician."
She smiled brightly, her laughter ringing out like sunshine.
"...."
At this point, it seemed like I must be the crazy one.
I had just heard a compliment from Victoria—something I'd be lucky to hear once a year.
* * *
'I... I didn't get caught, did I?'
Victoria, the Saint blessed with the blood of both Gold Dragons and humans, had stepped away from Astar for a moment to replay the earlier scene in her mind.
'I thought my heart was going to explode…'
She was taking deep, steady breaths to calm the wild pounding in her chest. It frustrated her—how just holding his hand could shake her so much.
After all, the idea of a "contract relationship" hadn't even been hers to begin with. It was a solution proposed when she had sought advice from the Celestial she served.
— [You mean you've been secretly harboring feelings for Astar for a whole year? Good grief, you're something else. How could you fall for that reckless brute…]
— Please refrain from speaking ill of him. Even if you are a Celestial, I cannot forgive anyone who insults my love.
A few days ago, in a drunken prayer, Victoria had finally confessed the feelings she had bottled up for so long.
— [So, what you want is to win his heart, right? There's always the option of making a pact with the God of Love. You could enchant him into falling for you.]
— Isn't there... a more natural way? Something that doesn't involve manipulating him?
Victoria didn't want to force Astar into loving her. She wanted to see him fall for her genuinely—to lose himself willingly, completely, and without any magical interference.
— [Well, there is a way to make him realize you're a woman he could love. You could suggest dating him... as a trial run.]
— A contract relationship... you mean?
And that was how this strategy—this "contract relationship"—was born.
— [If it doesn't work out, you can always say you're going back to being friends. And who knows? Spending time together might make him truly fall for you.]
Victoria hadn't been able to argue with that logic.
— [Sure, he's ridiculously good-looking, but you know better than anyone that looks aren't everything. Character matters more.]
Victoria couldn't help but agree—at least a little. She remembered all too vividly how she had once fallen for an illusion created by the Succubus Queen, believing it was Astar himself confessing to her.
The moment she saw that vision, she had been so overwhelmed with joy that she fainted on the spot.
— [Since things are already moving in that direction, you should tell him it's also to protect yourself from the Succubus Queen's illusions. You can't afford to collapse again like last time.]
It was a secret that could only be shared between women—a secret too dangerous for others to know. The Celestial had worried for Victoria and had helped her think through a plan.
'Truly... thank you, Celestial.'
Recalling those conversations, Victoria offered a silent prayer of gratitude from the bottom of her heart.
Thanks to the excuse of a "contract relationship," she could take one more precious step closer to the man she loved.
"...In the name of Lumina, Celestial of Light, please forgive me for deceiving you."
Placing a hand over her heart, Victoria made the sign of the cross. It was a habit, a small act of penance, when she didn't know how else to deal with the guilt weighing her down.
"Because my feelings have already grown so overwhelming... I'm terrified you'll reject me."
Because, no matter how deeply she loved him, she was still lying to him—again and again.
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(TL: This is a translation of the novel titled "성녀의 속마음이 들린다." I hope you enjoy it.)
(TL: The next episodes of the novel will most likely be out this Tuesday and Friday. Stay tuned!)