"If I had a nickel for every time I fought a mutated thug with the IQ of drywall, I'd have enough money to pay Deadpool to leave me alone. But guess what? This time… I'm joining his team."
[DING!]
New Quest Alert!
Main Quest: "Let's Get Heroic" (Duration: 1 Year)Objective: Upgrade a New York-based city-level hero with villain tech or serum to help them reach the next level.Current Targets: Spider-Man, Daredevil, Luke Cage, Iron FistReward:
Shira's Seven Heavens Breathing Method
Silent Fist Taijutsu Technique
Limited Edition Uchiha AirPods™
Subquest Added:
Join Deadpool's Bounty Hunter Syndicate: The "Bang-for-Bucks Brotherhood"Requirement: Impress Deadpool by defeating one large threat.Suggested Threat: Aleksei Sytsevich a.k.a. THE RHINO.
"Oh cool, a Russian tank cosplaying as a zoo escapee. Totally fine. I'm fine. THIS IS FINE."
Location: Midtown Construction Site – 2:07 AM
Alexander stood on top of a crane, chewing a wasabi KitKat like it was a power bar. Below him, Rhino was charging through steel girders like a wrecking ball on PCP.
"WHY YOU RUN FROM RHINO? COME FIGHT RHINO LIKE MAN!"
"Bro," Alexander muttered, activating his Vibro-Gauntlets 2.0, now glowing with unstable Shocker energy, "I'm not a man. I'm a problem."
He leapt down like Batman with a caffeine addiction.
Boom.One punch to the face.Did absolutely nothing.
"Oh crap, I forgot. You tank hits like a Souls boss."
Rhino slammed him into a forklift.
"YOU ARE FUNNY LITTLE MAN."
Alexander rolled, coughed up blood, and smiled.
"You know what else is funny?"
He pulled a modified shock emitter from his back pocket.
"My mixtape—powered by weaponized anime."
He shoved it against Rhino's chest and activated it.
BA-ZZZZZT!
The electric pulse fried part of Rhino's suit, making him stagger like a drunk Kaiju.
Then… gunfire.
A shadowy figure somersaulted down from a nearby rooftop, landing with grace and attitude.
She wore a black combat suit, white mask, and twin kukri blades. A patch on her shoulder read:"PROJECT KIRIN."
"You're late," she said flatly.
"You're mysterious," Alexander replied, wiping blood from his lip.
"I'm your rival," she said.
"...Dibs on being the Sasuke."
She charged at Rhino with speed that made anime girls blush. Rhino roared.
"WHY EVERYONE ATTACK RHINO?!"
Alexander sighed.
"Because you're the tutorial boss, my guy."
[DING!]
Mission Complete: Impress Deadpool
Incoming Call: Deadpool.mp4
Deadpool popped up via holo-screen, holding a taco and a rubber chicken.
"AYYYYY YOU MADE IT! Welcome to the Brotherhood of Bang! We do bounties, blow things up, and sometimes eat chimichangas off unconscious mobsters!"
"Do I get benefits?"
"Dental? No. Explosives? Yes."
Later, that morning…
Alexander limped through a warehouse, still bruised, still bleeding, still somehow munching on Pocky.
[DING!]
Long-Term Quest Begins Now: "Let's Get Heroic"
"Choose your first subject to upgrade, O Assassin of Meme and Mayhem."
A screen popped up:
Spider-Man (Mentally stressed, scientifically brilliant)
Daredevil (Overworked lawyer ninja)
Luke Cage (Tanky, needs bigger boom)
Iron Fist (Kung-fu, but discount version of Goku)
"Hmmm…"
Alexander tapped Spider-Man.
"Let's start with the bug boy. Gotta juice those spider powers with mad science, anime references, and maybe a glowing serum I stole from a lizard lab."
Epilogue Scene: Alexander's Hideout
Alexander flipped through a villain dossier, smirking.
"Green Goblin tech for Peter. Some shadow serum for Daredevil. And Iron Fist? Oh buddy, you're getting a chakra-powered punch-glove."
He looked up at the reader, one eye glowing slightly green.
"This year's gonna be insane. Hope you like rooftop brawls, questionable moral decisions, and the occasional pop song during murder."
"Because I'm gonna become the assassin god of this universe… one meme at a time."
[TO BE CONTINUED… IN CHAPTER 7: "Side Quests, Spidey, and Sinister Six Shenanigans"]