Normandy
Uncharted Space
"On board this ship, we follow orders. The Commander's in charge of the mission, but I am his Executive Officer and second-in-command. That means you listen to me."
My heart sank as I hurried into the debriefing room and heard Miranda's smooth voice spelling things out to Jack as one would a child. I should have been the one conducting the first welcome, but I had to stop by my quarters and get my armour off. Then I hadn't been able to resist a quick shower and change into clean clothes. Purgatory had been sterilised clean of any conventional dirt and grime, but the station still felt worse than the muck on Omega.
I'd wanted to talk quietly to Jack before any of the crew had a chance to. Unfortunately, Miranda had gotten to her first.
Jack laughed derisively, a burst of harsh sound completely devoid of any genuine mirth. She ignored Miranda and locked eyes with me.
"You'd better be straight up with me, Commander," she said, drawling the last word. "We had a deal. If you don't get me those Cerberus files, I'm out of here. Don't try to stop me unless you like your crewmen dead. Starting with the cheerleader bitch right here."
"What did you call me?" said Miranda, raising her voice and narrowing her eyes. The Cerberus agent was a good shot with a pistol, and her biotic abilities were pretty impressive, but Jack was on another level entirely. She'd make short work of Miranda in a one-on-one confrontation.
"Are you deaf as well as fucking stupid?"
I cut in quickly before the situation could degrade any further. "I keep my promises. I'll have EDI give you access to any information we have."
"About time," she said, leaving the room. "I'll be down in the cargo hold, away from you assholes. The less I see of Cerberus, the better." We began to breathe a little easier once she left.
I sat down at the table and gave Miranda a cocky grin, the one I knew she despised. "You can't shove her out of the nearest airlock, I'm afraid. Illusive Man wants her and I'm starting to see why. Three YMIRs! I'd win a war with her on board."
Miranda folded her arms, refusing to sit down or even look at me. "She's dangerously unstable, borderline psychotic, and speaking as a biotic, extremely volatile. It's like having a ticking time bomb on board!"
I leaned back in my chair. "I happen to agree with you, but you know. Illusive Man's orders." I watched her carefully for her reaction. I could almost see the conflict within her as she struggled to reconcile the facts. Jack was a spectacularly messed up individual, but her boss apparently deemed the crazy biotic valuable enough to join the team. Either she admitted she was wrong, or the Illusive Man was mistaken. Neither of those things had happened before.
"I suppose...she could be useful in combat situations. Under the right command," she said finally. Grudgingly. I was a little disappointed. When push came to shove, Miranda backed the Illusive Man.
Garrus, Jacob and Yeoman Kelly Chambers came into the room. I'd decided upon a policy of psych profile evaluation upon recruiting each new member of the team, based on first impressions and gut instinct. It wouldn't give us the full picture, but enough of a base on which to work.
Kelly had been invaluable in that respect, gleaning accurate portraits of each recruit from mere seconds of contact and conversation. The Yeoman was a gifted counsellor and was good at her job. She had observed Mordin and Zaeed and came up with a decent rundown of their strengths, weaknesses and motivations.
The salarian scientist was eager to work again with some of the best tech in the galaxy, but he apparently also harboured some long-buried secret that was causing him much guilt. Why else waste time running a free clinic on some stinking hellhole like Omega?
Zaeed was easier to understand, the old scarred bastard being in it solely for the money. I liked that about him. He might stab you in the back for a few credits more, but that at least you could predict and prepare for. I had a feeling Jack wasn't going to be as easy to deal with.
"Thanks Kelly, you're a lifesaver," I said appreciatively, as she passed around a steaming pot of coffee. Her other duties included attending to me personally. I had been a little apprehensive upon first learning that I had been assigned an assistant. The way I saw it secretaries, servants and their ilk were for civilians, not soldiers. And certainly not marines.
But I was no longer just a frontline grunt. I was an officer now, in charge of my own ship - and what a ship it was - and Kelly had made herself extremely useful in the day to day operations on board the Normandy.
It certainly didn't hurt that she was very easy on the eyes, with that red hair and sparkling green eyes of hers. Kelly also had an optimistic, sunny personality that seemed genuine, a rarity in the galaxy.
Still, what I liked best was her coffee-making skills. She could brew a fantastic cup, a far cry from the thick black sludge Rupert Gardner down in the mess liked to make. Early on, I'd asserted the privileges of rank, and Kelly now made her coffee of the gods for me alone.
She flashed me a quick smile of appreciation, and took a seat opposite mine. At the far end of the table I detected a subtle coolness emanating from Miranda, and suppressed a smirk. Miranda claimed Kelly was far too cheery for her own good, but I preferred the idea of her being insanely jealous of the time I spent with the Yeoman.
I drained the last of my cup and set it aside. "Ladies, gentlemen. By now you've had a chance to get acquainted with our Subject Zero, also known as Jack, also known as the girl who ripped through three YMIR mechs - count 'em, three! - without batting an eyelash. Thoughts? Comments? Howls of indignation?"
I let them go at it, as always. I preferred to let them thrash out their various differences and argue about every detail, assess every possible angle and then come up with the best response. It was something my mom taught me herself, Rear Admiral Hannah Shepard being no stranger to the intricacies of command.
Jacob was offering a tactical evaluation based on our recent fight to free Jack. Garrus commented on how she managed to intimidate a seasoned prison warden, noticing as I did that his attention was focused on Jack, despite the fact that the three of us were coming to kill him. Even EDI chimed in, the readings she took of Jack's biotic powers were apparently off the charts. Miranda was furiously coming up with every reason imaginable for not having Jack on board. It looked like she already forgotten her earlier admission that Jack could be useful.
Kelly and I watched the carnage in silence for a few long minutes. I raised an eyebrow at her, and she plunged smoothly into the discussion on cue.
"Jack looks frightening, at first glance," she began, when everyone else had paused for breath and was glaring at one another. "Her tattoos are artistically beautiful - "
"You'd have to be a modern art critic to find those beautiful," remarked Jacob.
"But I believe they reveal deep-seated emotional and psychological problems," Kelly went on. "Who knows what she's endured. Did she come by her powers naturally, or were they the result of extensive experimentation? She displays an unusual amount of hostility towards Cerberus personnel, even for someone like her. Are we in fact responsible for the creation of 'Subject Zero'? I'm not authorised to access those parts of Cerberus's operations."
I gave Miranda a significant look. She sighed and took the hint. "I've heard rumours that Cerberus had been experimenting on child biotics, but I'm not aware of all the details."
"Those aren't rumours. I saw for myself the sick experiments Cerberus agents subjected human beings to," I said calmly, not betraying for an instant the sudden wave of anger that washed over me. Although I was sure my face betrayed no emotion, it seemed like Miranda, Kelly and Jacob backed away just a tiny bit from me.
"They were rogue cells, acting independently of the Illusive Man and myself," replied Miranda, after a while.
"I've heard that line before. I'm still reserving judgment. Either way, it's safe to assume Jack is not the biggest Cerberus fan around. What about combat? How will she hold up under fire?"
"She did pretty good back on Purgatory," said Jacob, shrugging.
"Three YMIRs!"
"Yes Garrus, we all know about that by now," said Miranda, a little testily. "I think what the Commander would like to know is how well can she work as part of a team? I'm not sure if her abilities outweigh the negatives of having her around."
"Kelly? Your thoughts?"
Kelly believed Jack would be solid under fire, based on her history of running with gangs, mercenary armies and pirate crews. While she usually tore them apart after a few months, these gangs had done something stupid, like try to doublecross her. She pointed out that I'd already struck a deal with Jack by agreeing to let her access Cerberus's files
"Yes. It was the only way to convince her to sign up. In fact I'm beginning to wonder if the Illusive Man had thought about why Jack would even want to sign up otherwise," I said.
"He could have been relying on your massive personal charm," said Garrus.
"Doesn't take a genius to see that."
"The point is," continued Kelly, "You've kept your promise to her. It's not going to be enough to gain her full trust, and I'm not sure what will, but it's a good start. I believe she'll follow your orders."
"Tell me what you said about her biotic abilities again, EDI," I said, addressing the Normandy's artificial intelligence. A glowing blue orb popped up from a raised platform and a neutral female voice began to speak.
According to EDI, the output of biotic energy that Jack utilised during the escape from Purgatory was 'unmeasurable' on any known human chart created thus far. A comparable level of scale would be that of an asari adept approaching the Matriarch stage. In simpler terms, Jack's biotic abilities were at least twice as strong as Miranda's, and roughly three times stronger than Jacob's, she said.
"Gee, thanks EDI," Jacob said.
"I apologise if my observations have given rise to offence, Operative Taylor," replied EDI. "Yet it is accurate all the same. Subject Zero is the most powerful human biotic to have been assessed and recorded."
"Thank you EDI. I think she's just too powerful to be cast aside. I'd rather she was with us than trying to take us down. At least here I can keep her under my thumb," I said decisively. The rest of them knew the final decision had been made.
"A word of caution sir, I believe Jack wouldn't take too kindly to being referred to as Subject Zero," said Kelly. "It would only serve to remind her of the pain and trauma she must have endured as an experimental test subject."
"Good point. EDI, you got that? Call our girl Jack from now on before she rips the Normandy apart."
"Acknowledged, Commander."
"Great. Alright, meeting dismissed. I'll see you all later."
They filed out of the room one by one, Kelly lingering behind. It was clear she wanted to say something to me privately.
"What's on your mind, Chambers?"
"It's like this sir...from what I've seen so far, I expect Jack to come on to you very strongly if you maintain a close relationship with her."
"What? Who, me?" I was taken back. I certainly wasn't considering even the possibility of a relationship with Jack. Sure she was beautiful, and clearly needed help, but I wasn't looking for a relationship. I'd engaged in harmless flirting with Miranda and Kelly, but that was out of sheer boredom, not because I wanted to start something serious. Not now, maybe not ever. Not until I found Ash and made things right between us.
"I'm just saying sir, be careful about how you proceed if it does happen. In a case like hers, it's very common for patients to view sex as a casual, meaningless process. But giving in would likely spell an end to any respect she might feel towards you," Kelly said.
"How the hell do you know all this, Kelly?"
"Just doing my job sir," she replied breezily. "Of course, it's all conjecture at this point. But I've seen tons of cases like this. And I'm usually right."
"Alright, I'll bear that in mind," I said, not wanting to pursue the matter further.
"Oh, before I forget, you have an unread message at your private terminal sir," said Kelly. And then she left as well. I shook my head, and wandered over to my terminal at the foot of the CIC deck. EDI had tremendous filters, but junk mail still occasionally got through.
It wasn't titled, and had been sent from an unregistered account, civilian, not military. I frowned, and opened it up. A second later, I wish I hadn't.
It was from some homicidal piece of crap that hadn't possessed the good courtesy to die aboard the Purgatory. As I read through the mail, my fingers tightening around the edges of the desk, he rambled on about how he'd escaped from the doomed station, and expounded upon his sick philosophy that motivated him to murder.
But it was the last part that truly chilled me, war veteran though I was. The murderer, who called himself Billy, had apparently broken into someone's house to send this message. He ended it with a line that felt as hard as a kick to the gut.
"...I can hear them coming back now, so I'd better go. It's showtime! Thank you Shepherd...I'll be seeing you..."
I shut down the terminal and tried to steady my breathing. Some animal, some foul beast had murdered an innocent person within minutes of sending that mail. And who had granted him his freedom, who was the one who had allowed him to resume his violent killing spree?
It was me, of course. My decision to open all the cells. My command to get away from Purgatory as fast as we could without taking a few minutes to blow the place to hell. My decision to even go to the damned prison ship in the first place.
The Illusive Man knew this would happen! I wanted to rage and scream. I wanted to blame that smug son of a bitch, because if I could, then it meant that I wouldn't have to blame myself, it meant innocent blood wouldn't be on my hands once more...
Some people think marines don't care about death and killing. I've met a few men and women who thought like that, it's true. Those were the ones you had to watch out for. I still believed in the nobility of service, that fighting was the last resort on the path to peace. My parents both served in uniform, and were also good people. Every day I tried to live up to their example.
I failed this time. I didn't kill the poor sods who came back home and found a mass murderer waiting for them, but I might as well have.
Dear God, forgive me for what I've done. I'm sorry. Oh God, I'm so sorry.
Again, I was reminded of the impact of my decisions. Even as I tried to stop the Collectors from killing hundreds of thousands of colonists, I mourned every meaningless death along the way. This was not the first, and it wouldn't be the last.
I resolved to track down the origin of the message. There had to be some way to find out where it was sent from. And then if local law enforcement needed help in chasing down this killer, I'd be more than happy to lend a hand. Offer the compensate the victim's relatives, if there were any. It wasn't much, but it was the least I could do.
Kelly walked out of the chamber leading to Mordin's lab and saw me hunched over the desk. I still hadn't let go of it, and my fingers had turned white.
"Sir, is there something wrong?" she asked, in a compassionate tone of voice. For a moment I wanted to tell her everything. How I wasn't sure I could deal with so much death on my conscience. How someone had lost a mother or father or children because of me.
Then I remembered that for all her kind words and flirtatious demeanour, Kelly was still a part of Cerberus. The Illusive Man could have ordered her to keep a close watch on me, to make sure I was doing the job as per specification. You tend to expect perfect performance for a price tag of four billion credits, and ol' Illusive was the type to keep track of every last penny.
"I'm fine Kelly," I said curtly, heading towards my quarters. I needed to be alone for a while. No, that was a lie. I needed to be with Ash. God, how I missed her. I needed someone I could talk to, someone whom I could trust.
I needed to tell someone exactly how I was feeling, without worrying if every word I said was being recorded and relayed back to that silver-haired bastard with the glowing eyes. I needed Ash, and I had no idea where to find her.
Alone in my quarters, I sat on my bed and stared listlessly at a wall. My thoughts turned to Jack, she of the beautiful face and scarred psyche. It seemed foolish now that I'd wanted to help her. It was more likely that I was the one in need of help.
That man or woman or child died because of you, Jack. For you. He died because I needed you on my team. Some soldiers scoff at the thought of collateral damage. I'm not like them. To me, losing your humanity begins on the day when you fail to mourn the first innocent life that died at your hands.
I lay down on my bed and put an arm over my eyes. Maybe this would look better after an hour's rest.
For your sake and mine, you'd better be bloody worth it.