Working is exhausting. I barely have enough money to pay for food or bills. I've been in this situation before. After the divorce I've been stuck in a dark place. But it's okay. I'll find a way to make more money. But for now I just need to focus on my one job. "Hey." Zach pops up behind me. I jump in fear but then I chuckle, trying to shake off the fact that he just scared the shit out of me. "Hey. What're you doing?" I asked. He was sipping a cup of coffee that he got from the office and was leaning on my door. "Work is BORIIIING." He said with a long, dramatic voice. "Yeah, tell me about it." I actually enjoyed work, it's just that I was there for a long time and that's why I'm exhausted. "Alright, well, you have fun and... Be you." He said. I don't know what he meant by, "be you" that day but I just brushed it off.
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The babysitter had told me at work that John was acting up and throwing a fit. I just went off of work early and went to deal with it. I paid the babysitter and she left. "HEY!" I yelled. I hated yelling at my children but it was the only way to get them to act right. "I raised you better than this! What the fuck are you even throwing a fit about? A goddamn jar of peanut butter? What it's wrong with you? In front of a stranger too! Go to your room. You are grounded for... Seven... No... Yes! Seven months! Boom!" I say. "Mom! You can't do that! It's just a jar of-" "EXACTLY. THATS WHAT YOU WERE THROWING A FIT ABOUT. A JAR OF FUCKING PEANUT BUTTER." I went mad that day. I made John ball his eyes out. I felt bad but good that I had finally disciplined one of my children. I just got so tired of it. Sam was sitting in the art room and she heard every part of the conversation. "Hi, Sam." I said. She was drawing a horse with one eye. She has a strange imagination. "Hi mom. What happened to John?" She asked. I sighed. "It's nothing to worry about..." I said that, although it kind of was something to worry about. We drew for hours that night. I went to bed at 2 in the morning. I had had a nightmare about work. Me being fired and living on the side of the street with no food or money... No water or anything. And the woods. A figure stood in the woods. He would always show up in my dreams. Why? I want it to end.