The morning sun filtered through the latticed windows of Puqi Shrine, illuminating a small wooden bucket half‐full of creamy liquid set upon the altar steps. Xie Lian froze in mid‐sweep, staring at it as though it might sprout wings and fly away.
"What in the heavens…" he muttered, stepping forward. He pressed a tentative finger against the surface. It rippled like water—and smelled faintly of jasmine.
"I produced this?" he whispered to himself.
Curiosity overcame shock. Carefully, he pressed both hands against his chest, just beneath the bracelet. A soft pressure… and—
Drip.
A fresh bead of milk fell into the bucket.
Xie Lian's eyes widened. He pressed again, firmer this time. Drip… drip… His mouth fell open.
"I am literally milking myself," he breathed.
From behind him came a low chuckle.
Hua Cheng stepped into the hall, robes trailing, one eyebrow quirked. "Impressive."
Xie Lian spun around, nearly toppling the bucket. "You knew about this?!"
Hua Cheng tilted his head. "I suspected. The cow form—and that gleam in your eye when you touched your chest."
Xie Lian crossed his arms, cheeks burning. "It only happens when I… press myself. Or someone else does."
Hua Cheng's grin deepened. "May I try?"
Before Xie Lian could protest, Hua Cheng knelt beside him. With gentle confidence, he wrapped a hand around Xie Lian's side, thumb brushing against his skin. As Hua Cheng applied light pressure—
Drip… drip… drip…
Milk dripped down.
Xie Lian gasped, burying his face in his hands. "San Lang! Stop!"
Hua Cheng stood, wiping his fingers on a silk hem. "See? Useful."
Xie Lian glared—though his knees wobbled. "This is mortifying."
"Not if you own it," Hua Cheng teased, looping an arm around his waist. "Imagine the looks on the Heavenly envoys when you offer them a glass."
Xie Lian shuddered at the thought. "Don't even joke about that."
They spent the next hour in a flurry of absurdity:
Accidental Milking: Xie Lian, distracted by pruning a potted orchid, pressed against a pillar—drip, drip—and jumped back in alarm.
Hide and seek: Xie lian tried hiding himself from hua cheng, but his husband would find him every time.
By midday, Xie Lian slumped beside the bucket, robe damp at the hem, hair in wild tangles. His dignity felt as scattered as the stray droplets on the floor.
Hua Cheng knelt beside him, brushing a stray lock from Xie Lian's brow. "You know I can stop this anytime."
Xie Lian looked up, hope flickering. "You can?"
Hua Cheng lifted the bracelet from Xie Lian's wrist. With a subtle twist of the charms, the enchantment lifted. Instantly, the flow ceased. Xie Lian exhaled in relief.
"Promise me no more… experiments?" Xie Lian asked, voice small.
Hua Cheng slid the bracelet back on. "Promise—unless I catch you purring again."
Xie Lian rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth twitched upward. "You're insufferable."
"And you," Hua Cheng said softly, leaning close, "are my insufferable cow."
Xie Lian sighed, resting his head against Hua Cheng's shoulder as they remembered of just how delightfully chaotic life could be with the Ghost King at his side.
To be continued.