"Goddamn it."
Josh sat on the bed, clutching his head in both hands. It had already been hours like this. Ever since he'd put Pete to sleep, he'd been stuck in the same mental loop, again and again.
(You're not keen on it either, right? Neither are we)
Mark's voice echoed distantly in his head Only then did Josh exhale the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and Mark continued.
(To be honest, the job offer came in about a week ago, but I figured everyone would just shoot it down, so I was going to turn it down myself. I mean, the pay is Insanely good. You don't come across deals like this often... Miller doesn't mess around when it comes to money.)
All he had in excess was money and his face. If even a fraction of that face came with a halfway decent personality, the world would've worshipped him. Josh bitterly recalled what people used to say that God must have poured everything into building Chase Miller's body, then collapsed from exhaustion and tossed the personality in like an afterthought. When he said nothing, Mark scratched his head roughly and went on.
(But you know how it is... It's him after all. And his temper is no joke either. I mean, if that's accounted for in the payment, there's no argument. Just... there's a reason a job from the West Coast ended up all the way out here. Every team over there turned it down. Even with money like that, it's still Miler. I was torn thought maybe I'd float it to you anyway. But now that you're in a tough spot... well, the smaller gigs aren't gonna get you anywhere. If you take it, maybe the rest of the guys'll agree too.)
Josh took a deep breath and asked, "Did you talk to the others?"
(Yeah, called them before I came to you. Just the basics. Said they'd think about it )
Josh still clearly remembered everyone cursing through gritted teeth the last time Miller came up. But surprisingly, their responses hadn't been all that bad.
Did everyone end up in a tough spot too?
He fell silent again, lost in thought, and Mark added,
(They say it'll last three months, six at most. If it goes longer, they'll pay more to match. Anyway, if you're desperate, just think about it. We'd all go together, so it's not like the weight's only on you.)
With those final words 'just think about it' Mark left. And Josh had been stuck in this limbo ever since.
Why him, of all people?
The answer was obvious. There weren't many people who'd pay that kind of money for personal security. And Josh needed that ridiculous amount of money desperately. That was the truth, as ugly as it was. No matter how long he debated, the outcome wouldn't change.
By the time the sky had turned pale with morning light, Josh finally accepted what he'd already known all along. Six months. At most. And once the contract was up, he'd make damn sure it didn't get renewed.
If more personnel were needed, Mark would figure it out.
He waited for Mark to get into the office and called first thing, asking the most important question on his mind "How many of the others agreed to take the job?"
Please don't tell me I'm the only one. The thought sent a chill down his spine – but thankfully, Mark answered immediately.
(Me, Seth, Henry, and Isaac. Four total.)
Everyone but Josh. His shoulders dropped in relief just as Mark added, ( looks like Henry gambled again. Blew through all his cash.)
Seth had hesitated, but the pay won him over. Isaac had gotten pulled in because henry borrowed money from him and lost all of it.
( Henry dragged Isaac into a damn casino and blew all his cash too. Honestly, Isaac's just as much to blame for falling for that bastard's smooth talk.)
Josh privately thought it wasn't just smooth talk there had probably been threats involved, too. Isaac had lost his wallet to Henry's mix of foul-mouthed persuasion and subtle intimidation more than once.
Still, for me, this works out.
With a bitter sigh, Josh finally said "I'll take the job."
(Good. That makes five including you, Joshua.)
Mark used his full name deliberately, likely already writing it into the contract. He hadn't seemed particularly surprised or pleased he'd probably known Josh would accept all along.
They discussed departure dates and logistical details, then agreed Josh would review the full contract via email. In truth, Josh didn't care about the fine print. As long as the promised money arrived, that was all that mattered.
Once the decision was made, he moved fast. He called his sister immediately to say he'd gotten a job and she didn't need to worry about money anymore. Fortunately, the assignment was within a few hours' drive from where his mom and Emma lived. That meant he could leave Pete with them and visit on his days off.
[Don't worry about Pete, Josh. Mom's so happy he'll be here.)
Emma's voice was bright. After hanging up, Josh let out a long sigh. That's one huge problem solved.
There's no way he'll find out about Pete, right?
Josh sat, serious and still. He couldn't even imagine what would happen if the truth ever came out. If he'd wanted to be honest, he should've said something when he first found out about the pregnancy
But now? Out of nowhere? Hey, surprise, here's your son.
Hiding it wouldn't be hard. Like everyone else, Chase probably thought he was a beta. More importantly, Chase had never even glanced his way before.
...He didn't even remember marking me. Or sleeping with me.
"You're all mine."
That voice, long forgotten, echoed in his mind. Josh flinched as a chill tightened in his chest.
*
Because he needed to drop Pete off first, Josh left ahead of the others and planned to meet up with them at the start of the job. He figured he'd take the chance to spend a few days with his family too.
He thanked Mrs. Roberts and promised to stay in touch. She looked heartbroken, hugging Pete tightly. Josh spent the next few days preparing everything, barely sleeping, and finally headed to the airport with Pete in one arm and a small carry-on
In the other, he boarded the plane. The flight attendants' faces shifted rapidly -bright smiles at first glance, startled glances when they noticed the child, and then back to professional neutrality.
He settled Pete into the seat with a child safety harness, tucking a blanket around him snugly. When he handed over a lollipop, Pete sat happily, not a single whine.
As Josh stowed the carry-on, he glanced down and caught sight of Pete's face- those full, round cheeks moving as he sucked on the candy. And as always, the boy's face reminded him of that man.
Was it because he knew whose child Pete was? Or did they really... look alike?
Josh crushed the thought before it could fully form. It was a question he could never ask anyone and didn't want to know the answer to.
Pete soon fell asleep. As Josh gently wiped the drool collecting at the corner of the boy's mouth, another question rose in his mind.
Will he recognize me? Does he even remember me?
He scowled without realizing it. Every time he thought of that man, the same image returned
Arrogant. Narcissistic.
Most extreme Alphas were borderline sociopaths, if they manifested before puberty, they didn't go through emotional development and often became full-blown psychopaths. Chase C. Miller had apparently manifested after adolescence,
So he had a sense of emotion-the problem was that most of it centered on rage.
Even psychopaths feel anger, Josh thought darkly.
If Chase could feel emotions, that's probably why he could act. No matter how good-looking he was, you couldn't make it in Hollywood without talent.
Then again, with that face, maybe he didn't need to act. Just stand there.
Josh recalled a chocolate commercial Chase had filmed when he was five. It was his debut and it had turned the entire U.S. upside down. People still talked about it now and then. It was so iconic that even Josh, still a young boy himself at the time, had been utterly enchanted.
He remembered how disappointed he'd been when he found out the kid was a boy, he hadn't been the only one. Boys all over the country who had daydreamed of a romance with that "girl" had shared in the national heartbreak. Their first loves had ended in collective disillusionment.
Nothing had changed since. Chase didn't need to memorize scripts or act. Just being there was enough.
Josh used to wonder why a man like that even bothered to act until he saw one of Chase's films.
Chase Miller disappeared completely into his roles even in commercials.
"Whoa"
A soft gasp pulled Josh's gaze up. The passenger across from Pete was glued to their in-flight screen. And on It, Chase's face appeared moving, alive, all too real.
Josh was stunned.
There it is. That face soaked to the bone, Chase emerged from a stormy sea like a god made flesh. He ran his long fingers through dripping wet hair, stared through the screen with piercing violet eyes, lips curled into that cold smirk.
Chase Miller couldn't be real.
Josh's heart dropped like a stone. The way it pounded told him the truth: no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he wanted to forget unless someone scrambled his brain to dust, he would never be free of that man.
Eventually, the screen changed. The commercial ended. But Josh couldn't look away.
Soon, they'd meet face-to-face.
He closed his eyes, doing everything he could to block it out but it didn't matter, the plane was already speeding toward California.
"Josh!"
Emma ran up the moment she spotted him at the airport. With Pete in one arm.
And a carry-on in the other, Josh couldn't return the hug, but he let her cling to him.
Emma drew a long breath, clearly holding something back, then looked up from his chest. Their eyes met-and Josh smiled first. She smiled back.
After a few years apart, it was a warm reunion.
"You're still ugly as hell, huh."
And that was the end of that.
*
"No one knows how mean you are."
Emma gritted her teeth and repeated the same complaint for the third time. Josh sat in the passenger seat, staring ahead indifferently.
"Cut in."
"Shut up. I'm driving."
"He's about to speed up on you. Floor it."
"I said shut up! Who's driving, huh?!"
She yanked the wheel hard and cut in, then muttered curses under her breath as she glared at the road ahead. One more word and she might've beaten him with the steering wheel.
Josh glanced back – Pete's eyes darted nervously between them. Josh smiled and made a fluttering bird with his hands. Pete giggled and clapped.
Meanwhile, Emma kept cursing under her breath.
I'm really back.
Josh closed his eyes and soaked in the golden sunlight – and finally, the reality of it all sank in.