"You. Are. Fucked."
Even with the injured knee, the killer just threw himself across the living room, rapidly approaching my hiding spot. Before he could, I aimed at the floor behind him.
BANG!
Ricochet off the floor, right into his spine… except he, without turning around and in mid-sprint, just moved his lightsaber and disintegrated the bullet coming behind him.
Uh-oh.
I hurriedly stepped back from my position, running back to the ajar door where I entered from and reaching for my pockets, scrambling to put a new magazine into the gun.
While I fumbled with the gun, the killer finally managed to reach the spot I was hiding this entire encounter.
He smiled as he saw me.
"Hello, there you are, you disgusting fuck. I knew something smelled LIKE SHIT."
As soon as he finished those words, I secured the magazine into the Colt with a satisfying CLICK from the gun. I looked back at the manic looking killer, one of his arms hanging limply at his side, his shoulder bleeding profusely and staining his uniform, with the same happening to his knee and side. He was standing resting his weight mostly on just one leg, while he glared at me with a crazed smile.
I looked at him with my most neutral gaze possible, lowering the hand holding my gun so it was pointed to the floor.
"You're one creepy fuck."
BANG!
Bouncing from the floor, right to his head, the bullet got blocked in one swift move by the lightsaber.
"AH, I SEE! The filthy, shit-scented demon dares to call me, ME, CREEPY!?"
"I'm not a demon." I corrected, a bit lamely.
BANG!
Again, the shot got blocked by the lightsaber.
"Huuuhhh? What's that I hear, not a demon? THEN WHY IS IT THAT YOU REEK!? YOU REEK, REEK, REEK OF A HERETIC!"
Shit.
With those words, the killer threw himself again in a mad dash, right at me with his shining white lightsaber at the ready.
I didn't bother shooting again, instead opting for the nice option of running out the door.
"YES, YES, RUN, FUCKER! I'll make sure to put a FUCKING HOLE on your OWN shoulder! SEE IF YOU LIKE IT THAT WAY!"
Now out of the house, I turned around to see the self-proclaimed exorcist still hot on my tail, dragging himself at great speeds to me.
I planned a trajectory for three bullets
BA-BA-BANG!
"STOP THAT!"
To my horror, the three bullets, all with different routes and trajectories, got swiftly deleted by the exorcist with his sword in a maneuver that I would call highly impressive if it wasn't for the fact that he was a crazy asshole.
After that, we both paused on our tracks, staring at each other.
…
Well, now I was a bit fucked, wasn't I?
The exorcist seemed to get the same idea, since his face twisted into a sick, self-satisfied grin.
"Oh? Oooohhh? Is that all? Am I supposed to be impressed with your little toy, your little tricks? Would you like me to 'ooh' and 'aah' in surprise for you? Would you like a round of FUCKING APPLAUSE!?"
He charged again, and I had fuck all ideas.
Welp, at least I'm immortal, right? Long live the Darksign!
I aimed the gun at him again, out of token resistance more than anything. In my head, a plan for how to reach my Bloodstain once I got resurrected was taking form. I had more or less given up.
"That fucking THING! FIRST, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER USE IT AGAIN!"
As he yelled that, he raised his blade, and threw himself at me again, a furious warcry ripping out of his throat.
It was pretty obvious what he was going to do, he was going for my right hand, the one holding the gun. It was so telegraphed that, were my bullets not useless against him now, I could've easily exploited it.
…
And the lightbulb shone.
It happened in less than a second, as much shit does. Before the lightsaber made contact with my arm, right before it got completely cut off, I shot the weapon, as if I was juggling it, into my other hand.
The lightsaber cut through my arm at the elbow, perfectly slicing it.
"HA! THAT'S WHAT YOU-!"
But before he could raise his lightsaber again, now that he was holding it down after his slice, now that he needed to recover to perform another maneuver with his lightsaber, now that he was so, so close to me, so close that I could see all of the unbrushed teeth inside his mouth…
I aimed the M1911 Colt right at his temple, pressing the barrel firmly into it.
For a very, very brief second, just one tiny second, I delighted in the look of horror dawning on the exorcists' eyes as they quickly turned to meet mine. And as our gazes met, I could see the panic, the fear, the realization of how badly he fucked up, the realization that he had no way of turning this around.
I gave him a grin.
The exorcist turned his he-
BANG!
1 [Stack]
Right between his forehead, the bullet went through, piercing his meat and skull, cleanly entering his frontal lobe. The impact of the bullet sent him back, dropping his lightsaber to the ground, him falling soon after on his back as his forehead began to bleed profusely all over the front garden.
The exorcist was done.
As soon as he fell down, I let out a huge, deep breath.
"Jesus fuck, that was close."
Sure, I would've revived eventually, but it still would've sucked.
Simply glad that this whole shitshow was over, I ran my hand through my face, trying to-
…I ran my hand through my face.
…
Slowly, I looked at my right arm, very distinctly missing everything from the elbow forward. E.E then easily spotted where the missing half laid on the floor, discarded like trash.
…Oh, so this is how heavy amounts of adrenaline felt. Huh, funny that, not even E.E had realized I had no arm.
…
Now that I came to terms with the current situation, the pain arrived.
"FUCK!"
I fell to my knees and tried to hold my stump, quickly letting go once I realized it hurt more to even touch it.
"You exorcist piece of shit! Holy fuck, this hurts!"
Being unable to even touch the damn thing, I just tried to stay still and took deep breaths. The pain didn't alleviate in the slightest, but it was the thought that counted.
Thankfully (if there was anything to even thank in this whole shitshow) it seemed as though that lightsaber was hot enough to cauterize the wound the second it got made, meaning that I wasn't at risk of dying from hemorrhage.
I was just missing half-an arm. No biggie.
I closed my eyes in pain, which brought no reprieve since my senses were still afflicted by E.E. Goddamnit! Why the fuck did I even try this picking a fight here!? It sure as hell wasn't a sense of fucking justice! Why the-
Humanity.
The reminder made me still. Right, Humanity! That's what I came here for!
…Wait, why didn't I gather anything from killing this fucker?
I quickly checked the exorcists' corpse with E.E and… oh for fuck's sake.
No way this asshole's still alive.
With a grunt of effort, I got on my feet, picked up my gun with my only hand left, and took a step towards the exorcist's body, who was barely shaking his head and moving his fingers a little bit. The blood kept pouring from his forehead, making a new pool of blood in this property.
If I listened closely, I could hear something coming from him.
"...F-fucker…. K-kill you… f… d- demon… "
How supremely unhelpful.
I didn't bother with any more theatrics, I needed the fucking humanity and I needed it NOW.
I aimed the gun, made sure to aim at his frontal lobe again, and simply,
BANG!
The body gave one last spasm, then moved no more. As soon as he died, I could feel it. I could feel them. White energy coming from his corpse, right into my body.
"Oh, oh YES."
I could feel the Souls enter my body, his life essence becoming part of mine through conquest. I could feel it filling the void that I was, just a little. I felt just a tiny bit more whole.
The sensation was fantastic… but I was still missing something.
"Where's the Humanity."
I looked at the corpse of the exorcist and frowned. He must've been human, right?
After a few seconds, I decided to just try what I did with the bloodstain, I extended my left hand to the body and hoped for the best. Unlike with the bloodstain, something didn't immediately come back to me, as if it was energy wishing to return to its rightful place. No, nothing like that.
But I did feel something there. And so, I pulled.
As I pulled, as I forced whatever was inside the exorcist to fucking LEAVE its body, something began to take form at the palm of my hand. Something black, as if it was pure darkness, outlined by a white sort of energy. It looked right so I kept pulling, and pulling, and pulling, and pulling, and-
And then I was done.
Without even realizing it, there was simply nothing more to pull from. Now in front of me was just a corpse, a completely empty, worthless carcass with two big fucking bullets through its brain. And in my hand…
Was a black sprite, with a thin white outline.
Humanity.
It was odd, it wasn't the same as what I had gathered from the bloodstained. I felt like I could save the sprite of Humanity in my pockets and it would just stay there, like any other item. Convenient, if nothing else.
For now, I pocketed it. I still needed to loot the place.
In fact, now that I thought about it, something changed now that the exorcist was dead. When I first encountered the house, I couldn't feel any cars around the street, or even people. It was completely deserted.
But now… I could easily hear the sounds of cars.
Shit. Was he blocking people off from getting here?
I needed to get out of here fast, this murder scene was horrific enough when I entered, and it was worse now with the addition of another corpse with multiple bullet wounds. I really didn't want to get the police on my case, or worse yet, Rias and her troupe of shitheads.
Quickly, I made a fast dash for all I needed here. Precisely, the exorcists' gun and lightsaber thing. Kneeling down, I first pocketed my gun, then grabbed the lightsaber by the handle-
Only for me to drop it with a single touch.
"Shit! This is burning!"
The handle felt horrifically hot for some reason. I didn't bother wondering why exactly it was so hot, I just took off the bandanna from my face, wrapped it around my hand, then grabbed the lightsaber.
It still felt horribly hot, but it was enough to let me press the button on its side. With a single press, the lightsaber turned off, now just a handle of horrific temperature.
I pocketed the saber on one of my jacket's pockets, then ran back inside. I didn't bother staying long, just making a direct line to the gun the exorcist dropped, and although the thought of possibly harvesting humanity from the dead girl inside went through my head, I really didn't want to stay here longer than I needed.
Loot gathered, I ran back outside, quickly kneeled down the exorcists' side to take ammo for his gun, and finally absconded from the place without looking back at the exorcists' corpse, going back to the alleyways I came from, now a few Souls richer, with a new gun and also a cool new lightsaber.
Best of all, it only took me half-an-arm.
Today was the day of good deals, it seemed.
_________________________________________
"And… Fuck, there we go, all set, right?"
I looked at the makeshift fire pit with some sort of abject pride. I had it built inside a fenced area by the city center that looked pretty abandoned, the fence itself already broken before I got here and perfect for entering. The place was obviously dirty, but it was a small inconspicuous space that didn't really attract any attention.
At the center of the space was a poor excuse of a firepit. A small circle of pebbles, with whatever wooden things I could find in the trash.
But… something was missing. I didn't know why I thought that way, as far as I knew the firepit was good enough to light, but it didn't feel right. At all.
I stared at my shoddy work, eyes narrowing.
After a few moments, I snapped my fingers.
"It needs a stick."
It was a stupid addition, really, but it felt right for some reason. I quickly looked around the place and the nearby trash. Soon enough, I had a metal rod in my hands.
With an odd sense of satisfaction, I buried the metal stick into the pile of firewood. Now my bonfire had a metal rod sticking out, looking absolutely… perfect.
Rummaging in my pockets, I produced the small sprite of Humanity I harvested from the exorcist. Extending my hand to the bonfire, acting out of pure, primal instinct given to me by the Darksign, I held the piece of Humanity to it.
With purpose, I firmly crushed the Humanity in my hands, feeling how all that it contained, all the essence of Humanity within, spilled down to the bonfire. The second the Humanity juice made contact with the wood-
Flames. Beautiful, beautiful flames.
In one instant, this small decrepit space, dark and filthy, became warmly lit, with even the smallest of objects in the vicinity producing sharp shadows behind them. The flames within the bonfire danced languidly while hugging the metal rod, which now stood proudly inside it.
This… This was comfortable.
BONFIRE LIT.
I took a deep breath, savoring the light of the bonfire. I had planned to revert to my human visage as soon as I had this shit lit… but I wanted to sit down for a second. Just enjoy the flames.
And so I did. I dropped my backpack to the side, stretched my arms, then sat down by the fire, its flames hypnotic and relaxed. Even if it was useless, I closed my eyes, and let the warmth of the flames wash over me.
As if by magic, I could feel all of my exhaustion wash away. The wear and tear provoked by the day suddenly felt irrelevant and nonexistent. The beautiful flames… they were so pretty that I-
I let out a small (and most definitely manly) scream as I laid witness to something horrible with E.E.
"Oh! This- This is fucking disgusting. Jesus Christ."
I focused my gaze, adding another pair of eyes, to the process of my right arm growing new bones, meat and tissue. I saw in full detail how my sad little stump began to grow and reform, granting me sights that I wished I could erase from my memory.
They weren't kidding when they said the bonfire fucking healed you. This was traumatizing.
One concerning minute later, it was done. I stared perplexed at my brand new right arm, hand and all. It was exactly as I remembered, clenching my fists and flexing my arm as if to test if I had finally lost the mental warfare against the ever elusive DxD.
But nope, it was all real. Brand new arm, and all it cost was killing a weird fucking exorcist for his Humanity. One good deed at a time, folks.
Speaking of which, I turned my head to the bonfire and extended my hand, again closing my eyes for proper effect.
I searched within me, poking and prodding for anything I could sense. Something like this would've been unthinkable this morning, but ever since I died and turned into an Undead, it seemed as if my connection with the spiritual or supernatural had grown, at least in regards to my own things.
Sure enough, I felt it. My Humanity, the one piece of it I had inside me.
…This process would consume it. After it, I would be left with no humanity in me. It felt odd and nothing if not concerning, especially considering this wasn't some random guys' Humanity, it was mine. But it needed to be done.
So I took hold of it, and feeling the all-healing heat of the bonfire in front of me, I let the Humanity wash over me, letting it combine with the warmth of the flames.
Eyes Everywhere caught every second of the transformation back, of how the energy I released from my hand began covering every single part of me, putting me back together as I was before. The bonfire, as if giving guidance, helped the Humanity reshape my body as to how it was before.
Not before long, I gazed at myself with E.E, and I saw, despite all that had happened today, me.
It was easily noticeable that the restoration, unlike the creation of that arm, wasn't perfect. My face, that already wasn't the most flattering, had become much paler, and the already deep eyebags had become completely sunken. I looked like absolute shit, but at least, I didn't look like a zombie, and that in and of itself was a great achievement.
I glared at the sky above me, already dark and starry. It was too late to go shopping for clothes and it'd be useless to go shower myself only to get back into these clothes that had at least thirty diseases on them. So if all that was out of the question…
My stomach grumbled, comically loud.
"Fucking hungry."
I hadn't eaten since yesterday, after all.
With a grunt of effort, I forced myself to stand up. I checked my pockets to see if I had my wallet in them, grabbed my backpack off the floor, then simply left the small resting place I set up for myself. I was confident that the fire wouldn't be put out by anyone while I went to look for grub. One, it was really out of the way for people, and second…
Why would anyone take down such beautiful warmth?
…Because people were dicks, right.
_________________________________________
In spite of still being a couple hours before midnight and the prior plans to hunt some strays, I became unable to step out of the bonfire's warmth for the rest of the night. With a Teriyaki McBurger down my gullet and with a couple cigarettes for good measure, I inevitably fell asleep by the fire, the comfort of the fire too good and uncommon for someone like me to enjoy.
I decided to give myself a rest for once. It was my fucking afterlife, after all. And thus, by the warm, warm bonfire, I fell asleep. Peacefully, which was something that not even in life I could truly achieve.
_________________________________________
My peaceful sleep got interrupted by my eyes being forcefully opened by some external force. Around me, was an ever-expanding void, with the only thing in sight being an old computer set.
Goddammit.
I trudged to the desk with not a small amount of frustration. Sleep was for rest, not for this leveling business, dammit.
Eager to get this shit done with, I read the text on the ancient, white computer screen.
GREETINGS INCURSOR.
TODAY'S INCURSION HAS ENDED.
INCURSION SUMMARY:
MONEY= $61 USD ⇒ $196 USD
BULLETS = 40x 0.45 Bullets ⇒ 26x 0.45 Bullets
STATUS = Human ⇒ [Undead] Human
EXP COUNT:
3000 [XP] required for LVL.3
Ricochet Shots! [3 Times Hit]: 300xp
Avid Hustler! [30+ USD gained]: 300xp
First Canon Character Met! [Rias Gremory]: 100xp
First Taste of Light Damage! [Exorcist Light Sword]: 100 xp
Close Call! [VS. Freed]: 200xp
Killed Stray Exorcist [Freed Sellzen]: 1200xp
Death (1st Time) [Suicide]: -500xp
1800 [XP] ⇒ 3500 [XP]
NOTE: Negative XP won't reverse level-ups.
NOTE: Further deaths will multiply the XP loss by 2.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE REACHED LEVEL 3!
+1 SKILL POINT
You have unlocked a new side skill tree, [Pyromancer]! Side skill trees don't conflict with the main skill tree, [the Perfectionist]. You may spend skill points in a side skill tree instead of a main one.
Side skill trees, unlike main ones, don't have the initial 3 free skills.
CHOOSE A NEW SKILL!
[The Perfectionist]:
• [Coin Flipper]: Grants the ability [CoinMaker], letting you generate a coin with a custom value (Minimum: 1 USD) by using your own available funds. This coin is specially made for enabling Ricochet shots and cannot be normally used for exchanges. Depending on the value, it can increase the DMG of the shot with a multiplier (2x Mult = 10 US) with no upper limit. You can generate up to 4 coins with no cooldown. The coins will disintegrate after they're thrown and stop being in the air.
• [RicochetJunkie]: For every Ricochet a shot goes through before impact, the DMG of the projectile gets multiplied by 1.5x DMG. You also gain the ability [WillfulRicochet], letting you choose at will when a projectile shot by you will Ricochet instead of landing.
• [The Hood Splitter]: Your shots gain the ability [Shot-Splitter]. If a target receives two shots, and the second one lands on top of the previous one, [Shot-Splitter] triggers, making the first shot explode in shrapnel and giving the second shot a 5x DMG multiplier while vastly boosting the piercing capabilities of it.
[Pyromancer]:
• [Basic Pyrokinesis]: Grants the ability [Pyrokinesis], making you able to generate a flame in your hand that can be expanded and controlled. It is limited to your hand and upon throwing the flame or dropping it, it will die.
{Gunman / Pyromancer} skill available for unlocking!
• [Actual Finger Gun]: Grants you the ability [Finger Gun], letting you use your hand to shoot fire bullets. The strength of the bullets will depend on the progress of the [Pyromancer] skill tree.
And that's what she wrote.
I stared at the screen for a good while, weighing the pros and cons.
I definitely wasn't investing in Pyromancing for now. It seemed like it could be cool for sure, but right now I wasn't sure I could take my time progressing the skill tree if threats like the exorcist appeared again. If I went and waved my flaming hand at him he'd just proceed with beheading me… although the finger gun bit was mighty tempting, I'd admit.
That left the Perfectionist skills.
The shot-splitting one seemed really good, but I didn't think that the fuckers I could encounter here would just stand still and let me shoot them in the same exact place twice. The exorcist was proof enough of that. That left the coin one and the ricochet one.
Both were disgustingly useful. The ricochet one rewarded me for doing what I always did, plus letting me ricochet a shot as much as I wanted. The coin one essentially served two purposes, first as a damage multiplier (although the fact it drew from my funds was a bit concerning) and second as an instant surface for ricochets. Ideally I'd get both and that's that, but I needed to choose the best one now and later see if I even bought the other, since new skills from the tree would roll around.
Hnnghh, I knew that the ricochet upgrade was the safest bet. All ricochets got a boost, plus ricochet as much as I wanted. Literally flawless, zero risk, go team.
…But I wanted to shoot some fucking coins, dammit.
Besides, the damage multiplier on the coins was absolutely fucking ridiculous. No upper limit!? I knew that it would cost an obscene amount of money to even produce the coin required for an ungodly multiplier, but if we thought about it long term, once I was rich as all shit and dominated this puny fucking game like I'm meant to…
It could do some serious, serious fucking work. And in my afterlife we planned for fucking success, you shitheads.
Certain and expectant, I clicked on [Coin Flipper], and after clicking yes on a prompt asking me 'Are you sure?', I felt the new power right at the tip of my finger tips.
Idly, even aware of the fact I was inside a dream, I do the motion someone would normally do when flipping a coin, putting my thumb against my index finger and thrusting it upwards.
As I did so, thinking about the absolute minimum value, a coin formed itself from thin air at my thumb and instantly launched itself lightly, making a small arc in the air and falling to the ground (or, well, whatever this void-floor thing was called), disintegrating the second it made contact.
…I felt cool.
I looked back at the computer screen.
{Name}: Daniel García, [the Perfectionist]
{Level} :Level3[Perfectionist]UndeadGunman
{XP}: 3500
{Alignment}: Chaotic Neutral
{Skill List}:
• [Perfect Shots]
• [Perfect Stacks]
• [Stylish Twirl]
• [Coin Flipper] (NEW!)
{Perk List}:
• Eyes Everywhere
• Sharpest Shooter
{Trait List}:
• Darksign
• Conditions:
• Undead (Darksign)
Ah, would you look at that, they finally updated the photo in my character sheet. Now instead of the awful previous one, now there's one of me looking like a fucking recovering addict, taken right after I used Humanity to stop looking like a zombie. Cool, very cool.
CHARACTER CHANGES HAVE BEEN CONFIRMED.
DAY-END SUMMARY DREAM CLOSING…
…
…
…
DREAM CLOSED.
SWEET DREAMS, INCURSOR!
Finally, the world went black and I resumed my sleep.