Before we get into the meat and potatoes of this chapter, which is my health and medical history, I'm gonna run through my work history that occurred during this time frame. I should probably emphasize that this was around the time that all my health issues began running rampant. Due to this, I went through a lot of jobs because I was too exhausted to do them and didn't know why, and therefore, wasn't exactly putting my best foot forward. So, it somewhat ties together and tells you what else was happening during this time.
I worked at least two to three jobs when Bryce and I first got married. I worked at some schools, a pet store, a daycare, a hair salon, a background check facility, little things like that. But, eventually, I had to be a homemaker for all intents and purposes because I started feeling terrible in many different ways. There was this one job that I had that I got an award that they had to make up especially for me. I was working in Patient Account Services at another one of the hospital's facilities that we used to work for, the same one I met Bryce through.
We would have these luncheons once a month to go over newer policies and just updates… that sort of thing. Apparently, a lot of my co-workers were going above my head to my bosses and telling them that any time they saw me or talked to me, I always had a bubbly, friendly, positive attitude that was always contagious and made them smile, also. Well, they'd give out any awards during the luncheon, and as they began to describe the award the same way I just did, I thought to myself, "Well there's no way it's me," when my floor manager called my name. Not only did they want to recognize the positivity that was contagious, but they wanted to encourage that from that point forward, creating an award inspired by me called the "Contagious Positive Attitude Award" that came with a one-hundred dollar gift card for gas. That was a big deal for me, it felt nice that people viewed me in such a way.
Have you ever wondered how sad it is nowadays that you must reward people for being kind? I mean, don't get me wrong, I was super grateful that people took notice of something I'm proud of. It's good to know you have something people will hopefully remember of you when you're gone, ya know? You never know what just a little shred of kindness will do for both you and the person you're blessing… a double reward ( #doublereward on social media ).
But seriously, think about it. As we go along our day-to-day lives, we never know if our passing smile on the sidewalk could possibly convince someone who was hovering over that ledge… ready to jump… to change their mind. I don't know. You never know what someone else is going through.
Bryce and I decided that I would be a homemaker for the time being while we tried to figure out what was going on with my health and struggles with it. This led to quite a lot of financial struggles, but nothing we couldn't get through together and with the help of family — which we were, and still are, extremely grateful for. It was honestly good that we made the decision for me to stay home — at the time, we had more questions than answers relating to my health… as that's when things truly started running mad.
I was having a (quote/unquote) "medical" discussion with my husband the other day when I concluded a medical theory. This conclusion, however, was something I felt I was just pulling outta my butt as if it were cold, hard facts straight from a Grey's Anatomy textbook.
I told my husband that if a doctor were to hear me come to that conclusion — I'd probably sound so ridiculous that the doctor would sincerely ask me how many times I was dropped… or just who hurt me as a child in general.
My husband and I cracked up laughing in unison, and both said, "Well, how long you got, Doc?" In fact, I'm writing my memoir right now. I'll send you the first draft and you can analyze that."
Heh.
I have done a lot of work in the medical field that I didn't mention and was certified in many areas within it. It probably also helps that I have a copious — albeit overwhelming — number of [medical] issues that have given me a generous amount of firsthand experience. I am not, however, a doctor… nor have I ever claimed to be.
With that being said, Google is not a licensed physician, either. Just because you self-diagnose yourself, doesn't make it so.
Around this time, after going from doctor-to-doctor, hoping one would take me seriously, I finally got not just one diagnosis, but quite a few of them. I may mention the cancer diagnosis only briefly during this section, because with that one, I want to go further into detail.
The starting of the systemic lupus erythematosus and the cutaneous lupus, I believe, started back in high school, as well as the tachycardia, which runs in my family. I've always had gastro issues, but they worsened after we got married. My aunt, who is a registered nurse and loves doing research just like I do, suspected I might have Celiac Disease, or a sensitivity at the least… she was correct.
A lot of people are vastly unaware of what exactly an autoimmune disorder is, so allow me to offer a bit of information on it just to fill in some blanks. Your body has an immune system which has the purpose of fighting off threats to it. For example, let's say you get an infection of some kind. Sure, you can obtain antibiotics for acute illnesses that are responsive to them… much like bacterial infections. But, what about the illnesses that are non-responsive to antibiotics such as infections that are viral in nature? Well, your body's immune system goes to work and starts fighting against the infection and helps you eventually recover on your own as you treat any symptoms. This is not the case for individuals with an autoimmune disorder. A healthy immune system defends the body against disease, infection, and the like. But, if the immune system malfunctions in any way, it mistakenly attacks the healthy cells, tissue and organs in your body — and the attacks can affect any part of the body — greatly weakening the body's function and can even turn life-threatening, so if you have one, it's crucial that you're being regularly monitored and treated properly by trained medical professionals. Some of the most common symptoms in autoimmune disorders range anywhere from mild to debilitating fatigue, joint pain and inflammation, skin issues, abdominal pain and/or digestive issues… sometimes even multiple digestive issues. I experience all of these, with the fatigue, pain, weakness, nausea, and generalized inflammation being the worst of them. I have numerous stomach issues as well, but nothing so bad I can't handle it.
I'm knocking on wood right now — you just can't see or hear me doing it.
I must admit, I've been fortunate with my health. Sure, it's a lot — but luckily, I have my husband and loved ones to help me whenever I need it, and I also don't experience a lot of the issues that many patients with the same disorders I have. However, that's not to say that I don't have any issues — because there is a plethora of issues that I experience daily that others with the same disorders as me may not experience. I'm a firm believer that God won't give us more than we can handle — but I'm also entering the mindset that God's kinda pushing it with me.
That's a joke.
BUT… all jokes aside, besides chronic urinary tract infections, I am fortunate that I don't deal with crummy kidney function like many lupus patients do. I am very fortunate with my type of cancer, also. Sure, radiation and what people think of when you mention chemotherapy are treatment options offered for my type of leukemia — but only as like, last ditch effort-type options. I'm very grateful that I just pop my oral "chemo" pill every day, and I get to keep my hair… for the most part. I say that because my hair is falling out — I mean, with leukemia, lupus, skin lupus, gluten allergy, polycystic ovarian syndrome — I'm certain it goes without saying that I'm gonna have alopecia and lose my hair in large quantities. I'm not without my share of bald spots and patches that are in the process of balding, I constantly have to wear my hair up somehow to help kind of hold it in place and prevent further shedding. I kid you not, if I sleep without my hair tied up with a spiral hair tie to prevent breakage and damage to the hair as best as I possibly can, I will wake up with clumps of hair as well as multiple… and I mean multiple… individual strands scattered not only all over my pillow — but scattered to the wind.
Don't say I didn't warn you ahead of time that this was gonna be a series that may be disturbing or graphic for some listeners/readers. Please keep that in mind as I go on to say what I'm about to say.
When I said my hair would scatter to the wind, I wasn't kidding.
In my underwear.
In my husband's underwear.
In my butt-crack.
In my husband's butt crack.
In my dogs' butt cracks, mouths, and bowel movements from inadvertently swallowing the hair.
On my clothes, coating most of the entirety of each piece.
On my husband's clothes.
If even one hair lands on my husband's head — that's the most hair he will have on his head at any given period. He's bald and sexy.
My hair will coat almost the entirety of whatever clothing I'm wearing and any other belonging I encounter — even the ones I don't encounter… I'm that talented.
When I wash, brush, or comb my hair, clumps and multiple other strands additionally fall out. My oncologist even commented on it one time during an appointment — even with my hair up and tied back, my sweater was coated in stray hairs of mine. My doctor was like, "The back of your shirt is covered in hair." I replied that I was already aware when he confirmed that not only would the leukemia do that, but also my two types of lupus.
Sooo… there's that.
This part of my story, I really want to try and keep brief. Granted, considering the signs for most of my health issues started in my teens, they began worsening into my early twenties which was around this time. Even though I won't be including every single health issue/detail, there is still a lot of information to include during this part.
Well, other parts, also — but you get my point.
I have always worried about appearing whiney or like I'm complaining too much as my goal has always been to encourage… not discourage. I don't want anyone thinking that I'm harping on negative aspects of my life and trying to milk the situation for all its worth… I know people who have been like that, and I just find it unfortunate when someone displays constant negativity and/or misery when it isn't warranted. A good example of that would be this one girl I knew, if she didn't have anything to complain about, I kid you not… she would find something to complain about, even if it was an extremely ridiculous thing to complain about. I don't get it honestly, life already sucks enough as it is and if I don't have anything that will make me depressed, I'm gonna make the most out of it, ya know? I mean, it could be that I've already experienced a lot of negativities in my life in addition to a lot of physical and mental health issues, and I just don't want to focus on that part of my life anymore. I do have this thing that I do with my close family and loved ones that I do to be funny, my family has even joined in on the joke with me. I've gotten to where if I want something that's not exactly doable from someone, I'll throw a joke out there to just have a bit of fun.
Say, for example, I need to go to the bathroom badly… but I don't exactly feel up to getting up and going. You'd be surprised how often that happens, there are some days where it is, quite literally all I can do to just stand up and get from point A to point B. Anyways, it's obvious and goes without saying that someone else would be incapable of using the restroom for you — this is where the joke would come into play. It would go something along these lines:
I could look at Bryce and say something along the lines of, "I don't feel well. Could you go to the bathroom for me? I need to go bad."
When he inevitably tells me that he wishes he could help me out but is unable to, that's when complete with a sad look on my face, I'd say, "But… I have cancer."
This is my way of attempting to make light of a situation as a means of coping with it, so please know, that I mean no offense to anyone when I say this. In fact, my family has joined in on the joke. Just the other day, my stepdad tried to talk my Momma into going somewhere he really wanted to go or something along those lines, and when my momma was leaning towards telling him no, he quipped, "But, my daughter has cancer."
This honestly cracked me up.
Something else that's always cracked me up… is every time I've been told I'm a "complicated case," or something along the lines of that, by my providers. This was just the medical portion, folks… now onto the mental side of things!
If I had a dollar every time I've been told that by a physician… I'd have to keep a type of swear jar, so to speak — I'd be in Forbes or something.
You know the game show "Secret Word," yeah… the secret word is: complicated.