Chapter 3: "Training Day One – Of Dust and Dreams"
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The first rays of sunlight poured through the cracked window of Naruto's tiny apartment, washing over the wooden floor that now… sparkled. No trash. No instant ramen cups. No moldy socks clinging to the ceiling like deadly shurikens of stench.
Just gleaming, lemon-scented peace.
Naruto blinked, eyes squinting in confusion. "...What the hell happened here?"
Then, he heard it. The rhythmic scrub-scrub-scrub sound from the corner of the room.
He turned and saw it.
Doraemon.
Wearing a white apron, a bandana, and wielding the most unholy-looking cleaning device Naruto had ever seen: a brush with a mouth. Behind him floated a mechanical bag with four arms, each brandishing a tool—one spraying air freshener, one sweeping, one dusting, and the fourth… flipping Naruto off?
"…What are you doing?" Naruto finally croaked.
Doraemon stopped, looked up slowly, his expression a deadly cocktail of disgust, annoyance, and pure judgment.
"Cleaning this dump of a pigsty—which you, you man-pig, have never once touched."
A tick mark throbbed on his temple as he glared at Naruto.
Naruto yawned and scratched his head. "Why would I need to clean? It's always been like this. Isn't it, like… fine?"
Doraemon dropped his brush.
He stared blankly. Took a deep breath. Then:
"It's called hygiene, you dump slob."
Naruto blinked. "Hy-jean? Who's that?"
Doraemon dramatically slapped his face and slid down the wall like a dying kabuki actor.
"…I'm done. I can't. Just bury me already."
"What?"
"Nothing." Doraemon stood, brushed his apron off, and grumbled. "Go get ready. Training starts today."
He snapped his fingers and the floating arms zipped into the mechanical pouch at his side. With a mechanical whoosh, all the tools disappeared into a bag the size of a pencil case.
Naruto's jaw hit the floor.
"Woooah! How did all that fit in there?! That's like... like a super scroll!"
Doraemon smirked. "Ninja tech is cool. But Guardian Angel tech? It's OP, baby."
Naruto, still in awe, stumbled off to get dressed.
Meanwhile, Doraemon strolled into the clean, now functional kitchen, humming a nostalgic Doraemon jingle. He took out two perfectly packed bento boxes and set them down.
Peace at last.
…Until—
"HUHHHH?! WHERE'S MY NINJA TOOLS?!" Naruto shouted from the other room.
Doraemon stared into the abyss, sighed, and whispered, "Just kill me…"
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[Scene Transition – Training Grounds, Forest Edge]
The forest was calm. Birds chirped. Leaves rustled. The ground was still damp from last night's rain.
And then Naruto faceplanted into a mud puddle.
"BWAAARGHH—cold!!"
Doraemon sighed, sipping tea. "You're not even fighting anyone yet, and you've already lost to gravity."
"I tripped on a log!"
"You tripped on air."
Naruto sat cross-legged, covered in mud. "So, what're we doin' today? You gonna teach me some super awesome jutsu? Like—FIRE BALL JUTSU!!" he yelled, mimicking a move he clearly didn't understand.
Doraemon bonked him on the head with a ladle. "No. We're starting with what you actually need."
He stepped forward and pulled out a scroll.
"Ninjas don't survive just on muscles and yelling catchphrases. You need brains. And yours are currently… missing."
Naruto groaned. "But I'm already in ninja school! Why do I gotta study out here too?!"
Doraemon unrolled the scroll, revealing a mini classroom made of scroll ink and paper chakra constructs—desks, a chalkboard, and even a tiny paper teacher with glasses.
"Because you," Doraemon said, "don't even know the Hokages' names."
Naruto looked away, blushing. "Tch. Like that matters…"
"It does." Doraemon pointed seriously. "History, strategy, geography, chakra theory—real shinobi know their stuff. If you want to be Hokage, you need more than guts. You need wisdom."
Naruto folded his arms. "Hmph. Then give me a gadget to learn it all easy, 'Mr. Guardian Angel.'"
Doraemon smirked.
"Oh, I thought you'd never ask."
He reached into his pouch, dramatic music intensifying, and shouted in that classic exaggerated Doraemon voice:
"CONCENTRATION BANDS!"
ZWOOM! He pulled out a glowing blue headband, slick and futuristic, with rotating symbols across the front and a tiny bell on the side.
Naruto's eyes sparkled. "Whaaaaaa?! What's that?!"
Doraemon spun it on his finger. "This bad boy boosts your brainwaves. Increases focus. Clears mental fog. Basically, it's study steroids."
He dropped it onto Naruto's head with a plop.
"As you have the attention span of a goldfish doing taxes," Doraemon explained, "this will actually help you focus. It'll freshen your mind, help you absorb knowledge faster, and stop you from confusing kunai with chopsticks."
Naruto beamed. "That means I can learn anything now?!"
Doraemon, deadpan: "Within reason. You still need to try, you know."
Naruto struck a dramatic pose. "Alright! I'll become the greatest scholar-ninja ever—dattebayo!"
"…Let's not get ahead of ourselves."
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[On the Rooftop…]
Yugao Uzuki adjusted her mask, watching the scene unfold below with a mixture of disbelief and amusement.
"That blue creature just summoned a chakra-responsive learning enhancer…"
She clicked her tongue.
"This brat might actually pass his next class."
She formed a seal, created a clone, and whispered her report.
"Subject: Naruto. Progress: Unexpected. Guardian: Likely unhinged but effective."
The clone vanished.
She stayed.
Just in case.
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[Chapter End – Next Time: Naruto's First Test Begins!]
To be continued...