If there's one thing motherhood doesn't prepare you for, it's how fast a fever can make your heart stop.
Zeal was fine yesterday. Laughing, chasing Zia around the living room with a toy helicopter, refusing to eat his peas at dinner. And then this morning, his skin was hot to the touch, and his eyes wouldn't open.
I'd rushed him to the hospital, only to realize midway through that Emily was having another health episode of her own. And because the universe has a sense of humor, I couldn't be in two places at once.
Thankfully, my neighbor William was there, like always. He offered to take the kids while I rushed to meet Emily at the hospital. It hurt me to leave them, but thankfully, they were in safe hands.
I was running on fumes now. Emily was stabilized, and the latest updates on Zeal were promising. It was just a mild fever, nothing too serious.
But I couldn't forget the image of Zia crying as we rushed her brother to the hospital. She looked so small and heartbroken.
When I walked into the room, she sprang from her chair and ran to me.
"Mommy!"
I dropped to my knees and hugged her tightly. "Hey, baby. Mommy's here."
Zeal was awake now, sipping juice with a grumpy expression. I kissed his forehead. Still a little warm, but nothing like this morning.
William gave me a gentle smile. "He's a tough one."
"Because he gets it from me," I joked, even as the tightness in my chest lingered. "Thank you again, really. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd manage. You always do." He paused. "Some doctor talked to Zia while she was waiting. Seemed nice. Pediatrician, I think. Dark hair, tall."
I blinked. "Did he ask a lot of questions?"
"Nope. Just checked in on her. She cried a bit, but he stayed till I came."
I nodded slowly. "Tell me you remembered to get her ice cream after all that."
"Double scoop," he said with a wink.
"And sprinkles!" Zia beamed.
I sank into the chair beside Zeal's bed, finally letting myself breathe. Just for a moment.
There was a long road ahead and mountains of bills to be paid. But right now? This was all I needed. I was just a mom, whispering thank-yous into the universe and brushing sweaty curls from her son's forehead.
Once the kids were settled down with Zeal back asleep and Zia watching cartoons, I slipped out of the hospital room. William was already approaching me with a cup of coffee in hand and his signature smile on.
"I thought you might need this." He handed me the cup.
"You have no idea." I quickly took a sip of the hot coffee to keep my body awake. "You're a lifesaver, Will, thank you."
"Eh, what are friends for?" He shrugged. "How's Emily doing?"
I leaned on the wall with a sigh. "Not good." I nervously bit my fingernails. "They were able to stabilize her for now, but... They don't know how much longer she can hold on. Her organs are failing, Will, all of them."
"Oh, God." William pulled me into a hug and gently patted my back as I cried. "It's gonna be okay."
It's gonna be okay. I've heard that statement so many times in my life, and nothing was ever truly okay. My life was falling apart, how was that okay? "I'm not even sure if I believe that anymore." I croaked.
"You have to. You're a strong woman, Lia, you can't lose hope." He added. "I wish there was something I could do to help."
Pulling apart from the hug, I quickly wiped my tears. "You've done more than I could have ever asked for, William. I don't think we'd have made it this far without you."
I smiled sadly, remembering the days when we'd have nothing to eat and he'd show up with bags filled with groceries. Or when I couldn't afford Emily's medication, and he'd chip in and pay for them. "You've always been here for us, William, and that's more than enough. I wish I could repay you somehow."
"Well, you could start by wiping that frown off your face." He squeezed my cheeks lightly.
"Aye, aye, boss." I smiled at him.
After I'd cooled down, we walked back into the room and found Zia fast asleep on the couch with my phone dangling from her hands, the cartoon still playing on it. "She must have been tired." I took the phone and gently placed it on the table, careful not to wake her up.
"Here you go." William handed me her blanket.
"Thank you for packing their bag for me." I was smiling, but it did little to hide the guilt I felt. Watching my babies lie in this hospital room, I felt like a failure as a mother. I didn't even remember to pack their bag for heaven's sake.
"You're doing a good job," Will spoke up as if reading my mind. "Don't beat yourself up."
"You should go rest," I said, changing the topic. "I'll spend the night here with them."
"Are you sure you'll be fine? I don't mind staying."
"I'd hate myself if I let you stay. You've already done enough for us, now go rest. I've got it covered."
He stared at me for a while before nodding with much reluctance. "Alright. But I'll be here to come pick you up in the morning."
"Alright." I nodded. Even if I had said no, he'd still show up here early tomorrow, so there was no use refusing.
"Good. I'll get going then." He grabbed his bag from the end of the couch and threw it over his back. "I'll go settle the bill now."
"Will," I frowned. "You don't have to do that."
"I know. But I want to. It's not a burden, Lia, I promise." He smiled at me. "See you tomorrow."
"Bye. Thank you, Will."
He waved at me and left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I'd always hated having to depend on someone else for survival, but it seems that's all my life had amounted to.