Alright, this is it. The big one. Time to battle Dvalin—except, plot twist, we're not supposed to kill him. What is this, a shounen anime with pacifist routes? Who thought this was a good idea? Oh wait, yeah, it was the bard. Of course it was the bard.
You can't just go around trying to punch a dragon in the face without some serious consequences. I'm not even sure if I'm gonna live through this. But hey, you know what they say—what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, or in my case, possibly dead.
Venti started channeling his anemo energy all dramatically, hands raised like he was about to drop the sickest rap battle verse in Mondstadt history. "Alright, it's time. You two, go on ahead. I'll channel anemo energy for you. May the thousand winds that have blown through Mondstadt be with you."
Yeah, sure, Bard-boy. Real motivational. You know what? I'm not even gonna let you have the spotlight today. I wasn't about to let a single person get a solo moment of glory while I was on this quest. Nope. Not today.
I looked at Venti, dead in the eyes, with the most unimpressed face I could muster. "Yeah, nah. Bard, you're coming with us. And same goes for you, Power Couple." I pointed at Diluc and Jean like they were some kind of special unit team I was recruiting.
Jean blinked. "Wait, what?"
"Nope! Don't 'wait what' me. You're both coming. If I'm gonna yeet myself into dragon danger, I'm taking emotional support humans with me."
Diluc sighed, already regretting every decision that led to this moment. "This is a terrible idea."
"Yeah, and yet here we are!" I grinned.
And just like that, our squad rolled out like a dysfunctional Avengers team. The wind howled as we stepped into the storm, dramatic lighting and all. Dvalin roared in the distance, clearly not a fan of our impromptu group therapy session.
Lumine was the first to start attacking. Girl went full Call of Duty mode with her anemo bullets, blasting the corrupted crystal behind Dvalin with precision. Each shot hit its mark like she had aimbot. "Cover me!" she shouted.
"I would," I said, "but watching you work is oddly therapeutic."
Jean, sword drawn, narrowed her eyes. "Focus, Shigeru."
"Right, right," I muttered. "Focus. Totally doing that."
After a few minutes of flashy dodging, dramatic slow-mo moments, and me almost falling off the platform twice -no one saw that,- I was already over it.
"Okay, yeah, no. This is taking too long."
"Shigeru, what are you doing?" Jean asked as I stomped over to Diluc.
"I'm doing what the plot demands!" I yelled. "Hey, Pyro Daddy, yeet me!"
"Excuse me?"
"Yeet. Me. At. The. Dragon. You know, like a fireball but with more screaming."
"Shigeru, you can't be seri—"
"Too late, I'm committed!"
Diluc stared at me like he was calculating whether he'd get arrested for assisting a dumbass. "Fine. But if you die, I'm telling your ghost 'I told you so.'"
"Appreciate the honesty." I turned to Lumine. "Light up my sword, Lumine! Give me that glowy anime power-up!"
She nodded, channeling anemo power. "Don't move."
And I, naturally, moved.
"GAH! NOT ME! THE SWORD! HIT THE SWORD!"
"Oh my archons," she groaned.
Thankfully, she corrected course and blasted my weapon with wind energy just in time as Diluc YEETED me into the air like an angry baseball dad with a pitching arm. I flew at Dvalin like a flaming meatball with too much ambition.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH—oh hey, nice scales," I muttered mid-air.
I grabbed onto Dvalin's back like my life depended on it—which, yeah, it did—and slashed at the corrupted crystal with all the force I could muster.
CRACK!
The crystal shattered dramatically, sparkles everywhere, cue the slow-mo effects and the boss music fading out. Victory!
As I freefell from the sky in full anime fashion, I caught sight of everyone watching with a mix of relief and what the hell did we just witness.
I landed hard on the platform, rolled, and dramatically sat up. "Did I look cool? Tell me I looked cool."
"You looked like a possessed squirrel," Lumine said.
"I'll take it," I wheezed.
Jean was already checking for injuries. "You're lucky that worked."
"Luck?" I laughed. "That was 30% skill, 70% divine stupidity."
Diluc crossed his arms. "And 100% liability."
"Still alive though," I beamed.
Venti floated down next to us, lyre in hand. "You have a strange way of saving the world."
"Strange?" I pointed at him. "Says the guy who let us fight a dragon without a backup plan!"
"Technically, you were the backup plan," Venti said.
"Oh. That explains so much."
We turned to face Dvalin, now less angry and a little confused, hovering above us like a dog that just got sprayed with a hose.
"Alright gang," I said, drawing my sword again. "Cutscene's over. It's boss fight time—for real this time."
Alright. This is it. Big boss fight energy. Time to actually face the flying lizard with trauma. I was hyped. I was nervous. I also forgot to pee beforehand, which could be a problem later.
I looked up dramatically into the howling sky. "Okay... cue the epic entrance."
And just like that—BOOM—Dvalin shot up from the abyss below, roaring like we just insulted his mother and canceled his Netflix subscription. His wings beat the air with the force of ten storms, and his roar? Yeah, it rattled my skeleton. Not metaphorically. Like, literally. I think my spine did a tap dance.
"He mad," I muttered. "Did we hurt his feelings or something?"
Paimon floated by my head, clinging onto her tiny life. "Well we did shoot his crystal, Shigeru!"
"Still! That roar was extra! He needs a Snickers! Or maybe a therapist!"
Venti was channeling his poetic bard mode while we were dodging literal death. "Even after hundreds of years, Dvalin's teeth and claws are still dangerous."
I stared at him mid-dodge. "How the hell does he eat then?! Chopsticks??"
Jean sliced through an incoming wind blast like a total boss. "Shigeru! Less talking, more surviving!"
"I am surviving! I'm just adding commentary for the documentary later!"
The battlefield descended into chaos—Jean and Diluc fought like they've been rehearsing every battle move together in their free time. Like, what the hell? Actual co-op synchronization. Meanwhile, me and Lumine were winging it like two overconfident toddlers with sparkly toys.
"Okay, you shoot him with the green thing—" "I AM shooting!" "Well shoot harder!"
Lumine flung wind at the dragon. "GO LEFT!"
I panicked. "WHICH LEFT?! MY LEFT OR YOUR LEFT?!"
Lumine rolled her eyes while flawlessly launching an Anemo shot. "Just don't die, Shigeru."
"Can't promise that!" I yelled, swinging my sword at what was probably Dvalin's toenail.
I watched Diluc slash clean across Dvalin's wing while Jean shielded him perfectly. "Excuse me, when did they practice that?!"
"They're professionals, Shigeru!!" Paimon yelled.
"Oh please, I am professionally winging it."
Dvalin roared and flew up, soaring to the skies. I squinted. "Wait a damn second... I KNOW this move—OH BOY—"
"DODGE!!"
The claws came down with apocalyptic rage. But we all managed to scurry, roll, or panic-dash to safety just in time.
Diluc grunted, landing in a crouch. "That was too close."
"Yeah, my soul left my body twice," I replied. "I saw the light. It told me to stop making bad decisions. I told it to wait its turn."
And then it happened—Dvalin went full rage mode. The entire sky pulsed with energy.
Venti's eyes widened. "He's unleashing Caelestinum Finale Termini!"
I blinked. "He's what-ing the what now?! That sounds like a cursed final exam spell!"
The platform beneath us began to CRACK.
"Oh no. I don't like this game anymore."
Venti pointed to the next one. "Jump to the other platform! Quickly!"
"Say less!" I yelled, leaping mid-sentence.
Jean barked out, "Go, everyone, now!"
Diluc sliced through debris mid-jump. "Don't lag behind, Shigeru."
"I'm literally flying by trauma right now!"
More battles. More dodges. My knees hurt. My arms hurt. My pride hurt. BUT... eventually, we got Dvalin grounded.
He slammed into the platform, roaring in pain. Jean immediately started shouting orders.
"Now! Traveler! Destroy the second crystal!"
I spun around dramatically. "YES! LUMINE! FINISH HIM!"
She nodded, did a cool flip or whatever, and BOOM—second crystal? Gone.
I did a victory pose.
Then the entire platform started crumbling.
"Oh... oh dang..."
Jean's eyes widened. "The platform—it's collapsing!"
"...I FORGOT THIS PART!"
Everyone started falling. Like. Falling falling.
"SHIT SHIT SHIT WHERE'S MY GLIDER!?"
I tapped my back. "Oh right... IT'S A CUTSCENE. I CAN'T USE IT."
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Why is this talking food shouting!? She can literally float!
"Try to slow your fall!" Jean said but like. HOW?!
"With WHAT? GOOD VIBES AND PRAYERS?!" I don't even know what she's talking about!
Suddenly... Dvalin swooped down, caught us all on his back.
I blinked. "Okay, nevermind. Best. Dragon. Ever."
He soared through the skies, and honestly? It was kinda peaceful. Venti stepped forward on Dvalin's back and looked out into the horizon.
"It's been a long time since we flew like this, huh, Dvalin?"
Dvalin rumbled, low and grumpy. "Just now... why... why didn't you ask me to protect you one last time...?"
I blinked slowly. "Oh my god. He is a tsundere."
Jean glanced back. "He really is."
Diluc gave a sigh. "I hate that I agree."
Paimon crossed her arms. "Classic tsundragon."
The dramatic air intensified. Cue emotional soundtrack. Venti walked closer, his voice soft.
"You don't have to listen to the Abyss. But you don't have to listen to me, either. All I want... is for you to be free."
A soft glow appeared in his hands—a glowing orb of energy.
Dvalin narrowed his eyes. "What is this...?"
Venti smiled. "My power. The power of the Anemo Archon. I'm giving it to you. Not as a member of the Four Winds. But as my friend."
"...I'm not worthy."
"You saved us, didn't you? That's all the worth you need."
The orb passed into Dvalin's core, and his entire body glowed. Wind swirled around him as his wounds began to heal.
Venti raised his hand. "Now spread your wings with freedom... and go with my blessing."
I stood at the back, clapping like a proud dad. "10/10. Best dragon redemption arc I've ever seen."
Jean smiled. "Agreed."
Diluc gave the faintest smirk. "...He's alright, I guess."
Paimon puffed her cheeks. "Still a little scary, but okay."
Lumine sighs. "Let the poor dragon rest."
And that's how the terrifying storm dragon became the slightly-less-terrifying storm dragon with deep emotional baggage.
Yeah, I'm keeping him on the Christmas card list.
____________________________________
End of Chapter 13
Quest Completed: Defeat Stormterror and avoid becoming a casualty of his wind-based emotional breakdown.
Sub Quest: Survive a Fall Using Nothing But Plot Armor
Rewards: +90 Primogems, +1800 Adventure XP, 1x Emotional Support Dragon Pass, and +1 Party Bonding Level