I don't know why I'm writing this, maybe because I don't have anybody to talk to about this, and I don't wanna talk to my friends about this.
This is about me falling in love with a girl for the first time in my life, It hurts me that I would never even tell her, why? Probs because it won't look like a confession, and if she rejects me (she probs will), and I'm afraid of it, plus she has a boyfriend.
THIS IS NOT A LOVE STORY, BY THE WAY. I THINK I HAVE WRITTEN THAT IN THE SYNOPSIS
Let us talk about me now, shall we? My name is H-, well, you can call me Nick, I'm 19 years old, will turn 20 in Oct, I am a first-year Comp Sci Student at a University, I won't name the university, I love to code, yes, my favourite. I listen to music a lot, I'm skinny and I wear glasses, and people sometimes call me a nerd (I take that as a Compliment), I'm very insecure about a lot of things, I sometimes get anxiety attacks, they've increased recently, I tend to remain quiet in class, I don't smile much, I dont have a problem with that, but people say that i should smile more, I find it annoying, Well i smile sometimes when I think about her, I'm very good at hiding my emotions, I usually like talking to people online, not much offline, I have friends like Eight of them are closest to me, only two of them know that i'm in love with her. Well enough about me
I'll tell about me more as I remember
Let us talk about her. Let's call her S. She is very popular at my uni, like even third years have tried to confess to her, I guess. She plays guitar and sings songs, she has the voice of an angel. Looks like an angel, literally, more like a fallen one, though, so pretty. I could talk about her for a long time.
The moment I knew I was in love with her was like literally a few days ago. I couldn't even sleep that night. I was thinking all night about her, about her smile. Now it hurts because I have come to a realisation that she will never even know that I like her.
Well, the first time I saw S was in class, yes, I don't know the exact date, but it was like one week after the start of the Uni classes. I saw her the first time and was like" well, she is pretty".
I still remember how I found out her name, it was also the day when I made one of my closet friends, one who knows that I love her. It was 28 August 2024, just after the Linear Algebra Class, I was going towards my Electrical Lab, I met him, P, we both started talking, he asked me if I liked anyone in class, I said" The one who was sitting at the first in the yellow Kurta and Jeans", He asked if I knew her name, I said "No", He told me her name then, "S".....
It was a good day, I'd say.
I'LL SAY MORE LATER, I GOTTA Go
A Lyric from one of my favourite songs that I relate to very much-
"Problems I numb and conceal them, Kinda like my feeling, But I still feel them"
- Juice WRLD