Zhan carefully watched as Chou sat, trying to mend her dress with needle and thread, rushing so she wouldn't be late for her lesson...Gege would scold her again if she was.
For the fourth time, the stitch failed to hold. Chou let the dress fall from her hands as if she might burst into tears. Zhan felt a pang of sympathy for the girl. Nearly all of their clothes were worn out and too small; even his own wasn't spared. The only difference was that Zhan had mastered the art of managing his clothes....separating those for outings from those for home use. Plus, his clothes were originally expensive, gifts from Aunty Anu back when she was still around. That had helped him maintain them longer, unlike Chou's tattered collection.
Just then, Zhan remembered the clothes Ms. Bao had given him. Even though he didn't like them much, there was no reason to keep them when someone else needed them more. He sighed, got up, and retrieved the bundle from where he had kept it. None of the kids ever touched his things, and they'd never even asked what was in the bundle...such was their respect and discipline.
"Chou, leave that dress. I'll find you something else to wear," Zhan said, unwrapping the bundle.
Chou's eyes lit up. She dropped the torn dress and stepped closer, peering into the bundle eagerly, her mouth slightly open in awe but saying nothing. She simply stared in amazement as Zhan picked out something her size and handed it to her.
"Try this on."
Without hesitation, she stood up and started changing while Zhan watched. When she was done, even he was stunned...she looked radiant. The clothes brightened her up so much that it felt like her whole appearance had transformed. Chou couldn't stop admiring herself, spinning slowly, checking every angle with joy bubbling in her chest.
"Gege… these clothes are so pretty! Look, don't they suit me well?" she asked, beaming.
"They really do, my fairy," Zhan replied warmly.
Then she paused, her excitement dimming slightly as she looked up at him again.
"Gege, weren't these supposed to be saved for the next festival?"
Zhan's heart clenched. He and Chou were the only ones who hadn't gotten new clothes during the last few festivals. They had no maternal relatives to send anything....not even a small package. Others at least received something from their mother's side of the family, even if it was just a cheap outfit or a snack. Their father had long forgotten the last time he bought them a single yard of fabric. Yet, he always had enough money to arrange gifts and marriage fees for every new woman he brought home.
Zhan began folding the rest of the clothes and replied softly,
"Just wear it, Chou. Let's hope that by the time the festival comes, I'll have gotten you something even better."
Her face lit up again, her joy returning instantly.
"I always pray for you, Gege! But now, I'll pray even harder!"
"That's my fairy," he said with a smile.
Still glowing with happiness, Chou skipped off to her lesson, proudly claiming no one in class would be dressed as well as she was today.
When Zhan finished all his chores, he sat down. Ms. Bao wasn't around... she'd told him she would be staying over at her workplace for the weekend. Luckily, it was also a rest day for him: no school, no work. So, he stretched out in their mattress, pulled out his schoolbooks, and started reviewing quietly.
He didn't step outside until nature forced him to. Setting his book aside, he threw on a shirt, knowing there were always people around in their compound.
As Zhan stepped out, the fresh paint on the new building beside theirs caught the sunlight and bathed the courtyard in a shimmering glow. It was so bright and pristine that one might think it was a separate house entirely, rather than just another part of their compound.
Zhan tried to ignore the scene, but his eyes drifted to his father anyway—laughing and chatting with the painters like a cheerful host. Since the renovations began, Xiao Yun had practically taken up residence near the construction, pouring in all his hidden savings into this new section. This wasn't the first time; every time he remarried, the pattern repeated. But this time, something seemed different. This new woman must be even more refined than the ones before her.
Zhan suddenly remembered the argument from an hour ago, when they had all ganged up on him just because he refused to give money for sugar to sweeten the children's porridge. Xiao Yun lips had gone dry from defending himself, insisting he was doing his best—after all, he was the one providing food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner today.
"My problem with you Fenghua," he had said, "is that you're never grateful. No matter how hard I try for this family, the moment I mention marriage, you start gathering every curse and complaint in the world to throw at me. What's my crime this time? That we were lucky enough to have a few grains to eat?"
Fenghua had clapped her hands in frustration, her chest tightening with bitterness. She couldn't understand why this particular marriage was bothering her more than any of the previous ones....maybe it was the way he kept boasting and strutting around this time.
"Between the two of us, who's really ungrateful, huh? You even have the nerve to talk back? If you had any shame at all, you wouldn't dare speak like this," she spat.
Xiao Yun stood up, brushing off his shirt. "Say whatever you like. If you don't want the porridge, dump it out." With that, he walked out.
Later, Zhan had watched as Xiao Yun sent their youngest, Yulou, to buy sugar just for him. He poured it all into his own porridge and drink alone.
Quietly, Zhan continued walking toward the decrepit bathroom, which was in desperate need of renovation. Their father had refused to spend even a little cement to fix it. Meanwhile, he had built a new section of the house entirely for his new wife. Instead of improving the shared facilities, he had made sure only her side had the luxury. It was clear Zhan and his siblings had no value in his eyes. Fenghua had even sworn she would never spend another coin fixing that bathroom. Let them.... Xiao Yun, Zhan and his siblings... squat there like animals. That was the message.
When Zhan returned to their room, he lay down again. He picked up his schoolbook, intending to study, but couldn't concentrate. Frustrated, he pushed it aside, adjusted his pillow, and let himself drift into deep thought...mostly about the future, about what would become of him and his siblings.
🔸▪️🔹▫️
Time passed. Eventually, the others returned, had their lunch, and ran off to play. The house, for once, felt festive. Everyone had eaten well... something that hadn't happened in a long time.
Around 4 o'clock, a boy came running into the house.
"Someone's calling for Zhan," he announced.
Even though Zhan was lying down, he immediately sat up, listening closely. Something about the way the boy said it made his heart sink.
"Tell the person he's coming!" their father called out before Zhan could even respond or ask who was looking for him.
Within a minute, Zhan heard his father calling him loudly.
"Hey, you Zhan! Get out here!"
Zhan had no choice. He pulled on the shirt he'd taken off because of the heat and stepped outside.
He found his father sitting on a drum outside, holding a sponge and soap. It looked like he'd been about to bathe but changed his mind.
"Go outside," he said. "Someone's looking for you. And on your way back, try to find something for tomorrow's groceries. I'm out of cash. Things are tight, and I need to save up for the new bride. She can't arrive to an empty house."
Zhan stood there, silent, replaying the words in his head. That's what was bothering his father? Not their own struggles, not the children's needs, not the state of the bathroom or the food? Just impressing a new bride?
Zhan had never expected his father to lose sleep over their problems, but now he knew for certain....his father didn't even count them among his responsibilities.
"Go on now! What are you, deaf?" Xiao Yun's sharp voice yanked him from his thoughts.
Like a chicken startled from its nest, Zhan hurried back into their room, grabbed his shoes, and made his way toward the door....still wondering: Who could be calling me like this?
From the moment Nan Jue spotted Zhan approaching, he fixed his eyes on him, a flicker of recognition stirring in his mind. He remembered the first time he overheard the neighborhood boys describing his striking appearance and graceful build. Back then, he had felt a strange flutter within him. Now, as Zhan drew closer, Nan Jue instinctively looked away, not wanting to get caught staring.
Nan Jue closed his eyes for a brief moment when Zhan spoke. No doubt.... the voice matched its owner perfectly. So it really is him, Nan Jue thought silently, steadying his breath before responding. Zhan had barely glanced at him before lowering his gaze and politely saying,
"Good afternoon."
Something about the way Nan Jue carried himself....so composed, so different from others Zhan had encountered....left him intrigued. He had never seen him before, didn't know who he was, or why he felt drawn to him. At first, Zhan thought it might be Su Luo returning from the travel he had sent him he did, but instead, it was this unfamiliar young man standing before him.
"Mr. Zhan, I hope my visit isn't a disturbance," Nan Jue began with a sincere tone. "I owe you an apology for showing up unannounced like this. I had every intention of seeking permission from your father first, but I couldn't wait any longer. Forgive me if I'm being too forward."
He paused, then introduced himself, "My name is Nan Jue. I'm from this city too. Something important brought me to your neighborhood that day, and when I saw you, I felt… something I can't explain. That's why I'm here.... because I had to know who you are."
At his last words, Zhan slowly lifted his pale eyes and looked directly at him. He didn't understand. Just because this man was attracted to him, did that give him the right to pry into his life? For what reason? Zhan hadn't even known Nan Jue existed until now. He couldn't see what others found so fascinating about him. There was nothing exceptional about him, at least not in his own eyes. And yet people like Nan Jue felt compelled to insert themselves into his already messy life, adding yet another weight he hadn't asked for.
Noticing Zhan's silent hesitation, Nan Jue tried again.
"I took time to find out where you live… and the best moments I might be able to meet you. I hope you'll receive me kindly, the same way my heart welcomed you the moment I saw you."
Zhan let out a subtle, quiet sigh, the kind one might give after a long run. He still wasn't entirely sure what this man wanted. But from the little he did understand, it seemed Nan Jue was trying to tell him he'd fallen for him.
By now, Zhan's patience had begun to wear thin. He had started repeating the same words to anyone who approached him with feelings or intentions like this. In his soft, quiet voice.... one that sounded as though it hadn't spoken in a long time... he said calmly, "I don't do romantic relationship. I'm sorry."
To Zhan's surprise, Nan Jue gave a faint smile as Zhan turned to head back inside.
"Wait a moment, Mr. Zhan," Nan Jue called out, and Zhan paused in place, though he didn't turn around. Nan Jue stepped closer, shifting his position so he could see Zhan's face clearly.
"I'm not in a rush," he said gently. "And I'm not asking for anything immediate. I just want a chance....for us to understand each other a little before you make up your mind. When that time comes, I'll accept whatever decision you make....as long as it comes from your heart, not like the one you just made now."
As Zhan tried to move past him again, Nan Jue suddenly pulled some money from his pocket and held it out.
"Please, take this."
Zhan glanced at the money, then at him. To Zhan, anyone offering him money now only reminded him of where he came from....like they were belittling his worth with a handout. That's all he saw: someone looking down on him.
Without saying a word, he shook his head, turned away, and disappeared into the house with quick steps, his heart burning with frustration and silent anger.
"Ah! I never realized you could father a child with such a hard heart until today," Xiao Yun barked. "So just because your old man needs money, this boy hands you cash and you let him walk off like he just handed you a poop? Go back and return with it before he changes his mind and leaves with the money!"
That was Xiao Yun's voice..... their father.... swooping down on Zhan like a hawk the moment he stepped into the courtyard. Shock froze Zhan in place. Had his father been hiding nearby, watching and listening to everything between him and Nan Jue?
"Did you hear me? Go get that money back!" Xiao Yun yelled again, his voice rising with aggression like he was ready to strike. Fear jolted through Zhan as he scrambled to figure out how to escape his father's wrath.
Just then, he bumped into a small boy holding out the money.
"Here… this is for Zhan," the boy said. "Mr. Nan Jue told me to give it to him and tell him he's leaving...."
Before the boy could finish his sentence, Xiao Yun snatched the money from his hands with lightning speed.
"Good boy. May good things come to you. I wish I had change to give you," he muttered as he counted the money.
Zhan, burning with embarrassment and rage, slipped past them quietly into the house. He couldn't bear to stand there a moment longer. The shame and disappointment in his father weighed heavily on him. Xiao Yun revered money above everything. Zhan couldn't help but wonder....how would his younger siblings turn out in this kind of home?
That was why Zhan had made it his mission to raise them with proper values....ones he hoped would sink deep into both body and soul.
"Fifty thousand yuan.....just like that?!" Xiao Yun gasped, eyes wide. "Zhan! I had a feeling you were going to be the key to my fortune, and look! I was right! Where did you find that boy?"
Zhan couldn't answer. His father's greed overwhelmed him, and embarrassment left him speechless as Xiao Yun hovered at the doorway, clearly expecting a response.
That's when Fenghua, their stepmother, stepped out of the room holding a tray of dishes. She gave Xiao Yun a hard glare and snapped, "Shameless. This is where you suddenly find your strength....right here."
Ever since the new building in the compound was completed, Fenghua's energy and temper had visibly dulled. Her bitterness lingered.
"You, woman, who are you even snapping at?" Xiao Yun retorted, tossing the jab carelessly. "Jealousy's eating you up again. Don't worry....it'll pass like it always does."
With that, Xiao Yun grabbed his bath bucket, full to the brim, and headed to the bathroom....muttering more plans and schemes to himself. He knew Fenghua had overheard how much he got. He just hoped she wouldn't find the courage to ask him what he planned to do with it.
"Look at you," he continue. "Even something as basic as a bathing water—you act like someone has to go fetch it for me. May heaven help us. Honestly, it's a miracle you manage to function at all."
That was the comment that completely set Fenghua off, sending her into a fresh storm of complaints.
Zhan could hear it all from the room. At first, he tried to ignore it, but the noise became too much to bear. He stood up and began tidying and organizing things in the room—chores that hadn't even existed before.
In that moment, he realized something strange: going to his work or school each day was actually a blessing. If he'd stayed home every day, how on earth would he survive in this house?
▫️🔹🔸▪️
Later that evening, Que and Chou returned home. Zhan was sitting quietly when they entered, and he immediately noticed both girls had gloomy expressions clouding their faces. He studied them for a moment before asking,
"Is everything okay? What happened, Fairy?"
Still frowning, Que handed him a small piece of paper. Zhan took it and read the title....it was the name of a beginner English textbook.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Que's voice was sharp with frustration as she explained,
"The teacher has been punishing us ever since that day because we don't have the textbook. We didn't tell you because we know you don't have money, Gege. But today we finally showed it to Dad, hoping he might buy it for us. He just told us to go away...said he didn't have money. Even when we asked if he could buy it, he still said no. Gege, why is it that every time we ask him for something, he always says he doesn't have money?"
Before Zhan could gather a response, Chou jumped in with even more force.
"Wait....he is our father, isn't he?"
It was Chou's question that truly struck Zhan, even more than Que's explanation. Despite how young they were, the girls clearly noticed the way their father neglected them. Their awareness cut deeper than he expected. Zhan's face tightened as he looked at Chou....her words had left a bitter taste.
But she wasn't finished.
"I'm sorry, Gege," she said softly. "It's just... Dad doesn't treat us the way our friends' fathers treat them. Whatever their kids ask for, their fathers get it for them. But us? Nothing."
Zhan let out a sigh and looked over at Que.
"Sit," he told her.
She obeyed immediately. His calm, serious expression settled the girls. Then, he began to speak gently, trying to explain without placing blame.
"Baba loves you both. He's still our father. The only reason he doesn't buy you things now is because he doesn't have the money. Before you were born, he used to provide for us. Things changed. Now he's struggling. So we need to feel sympathy for him, okay? Every time you remember this, just say a little prayer that he finds success again. And I promise, once I have some money....in about ten days...I'll buy the books for you. But I don't want to hear this kind of talk again, alright?"
The girls nodded, though it was clear the words hadn't completely eased their hearts.
So Zhan lightened the mood with a quick distraction.
"Now, everyone go take your baths. After dinner tonight, I'll tell you stories about real-life heroes."
That did the trick. Their faces lit up with joy. They loved stories, especially history and hero tales. As they scattered toward the bathroom, Zhan smiled quietly to himself.
His gaze drifted to the tray of food sitting nearby... plain rice with reasoning, thrown together by Fenghua, who had clearly made the same meal for both lunch and dinner without any care for whether it was enough. He said nothing, but the thought lingered: we'll get through this. Somehow
Zhanxianyibo💚❤️💛