As I was running after her the thought of me being with her crossed my mind and next second my whole body quivered. It felt like my whole body was screaming at me to not do it. I had goosebumps all over my body, I was quivering all over and I started sweating like a pig from nowhere. The feeling I was getting was very similar to the one that kept me from getting into relationships, but this time it was much more intense. She must be somehow a reason for it.
Realizing that I will have to resolve this if I want to be with somebody, I decided for the first time to dive deeper into Victor's memories. I decided to see it all. The memories flooded my head and I almost fell to the ground from shock. I now understood why people close to me were able to stomach me changing so rapidly. It was not a first time it happened.
Victor was a good kid, a bit sad that his mother died but a good kid. He started to smile a lot when he started to play with Elizabeth. Even as a kid he fell in love with her, and it was not just kid's love. This idiot really loved her deeply. He was not able to tell her for years and the day he managed to gather enough courage, he was rejected. This crushed his heart to pieces and when he asked why, with tears in his eyes the response was what broke his spirit.
"Because you are fat and ugly!"
He could not believe that he was being told this from a person he believed to be his angel. In that moment his innocence, his good heart and everything good about him went to shit. From this moment all what he saw in women were whores that want to hurt him, so he decided to hurt them first and never let any of them hurt him again. From this moment he had the personal grudge against all women and especially the one that was standing in front of him.
First thing he did was that he tried to take her by force and when that didn't work because he was too weak for that, this made things even worse since he was not even able to take the woman he wanted by force.
He was still a piece of shit in my eyes, but now that I saw the whole thing, I knew why he became one. He was broken man that could not get over his first love. That spiraled him into very dark place very fast. He was never able to get over her and even less so over the fear of being hurt again. Me taking over this body took care of getting over her, now all what is left is that massive fear of getting hurt by a women. The same fear that was subconsciously preventing me from having any relationships. I took a deep and murmured under my nose.
"It's time to face his fears and get that bastard a closure!"
Shortly after this I caught up to her and spoke first thing that came to my mind. Not really sure how to start the conversation.
"Why did you run? Why are you crying?"
She started to cry even more and in between the sobs she screamed at me.
"How come that you can be so attentive and observant when it comes to other women, but so dense when it comes to me? Did you really not notice that I like you?"
I sighed. "Honestly, I subconsciously didn't want to know. After what happened between us that day, I ended up in a dark place for a long time. And now that I managed to claw my way out of it, I can't bring myself to see you like that any more! It's just not possible!"
She felt down to her knees crying.
"I knew that! I knew I hurt you a lot with what I told you, the worst part was that I felt it like that. When I saw you slim and handsome I wanted to chat with you. Seeing you apologizing to me, seeing you being again that goodhearted Vic I grew up with, that looks extremely handsome, made me want to be with you."
I sighed. "I apologize; I really do! But I can't do that!"
"I should have told you yes back then. Only if I knew…."
"How handsome would I become?" I interrupted her. She just started crying even more realizing that she just proved to me that she didn't changed at all, I just became better looking.
"Do you think those three are different? Do you think they would be with you if you looked like you did before?" She asked.
I squatted next to her, placing my palm on her head, patting her gently, as I spoke.
"Honestly, I don't know, most likely they would not! And it's normal, what you did was also normal. I was the one not acting reasonably. I was the one spiraling out of control. I was the one acting like a disgusting pig. Nobody wants to be with a person he or she is not attracted to! And in similar way you were not attracted to me when I was fat and ugly I can't bring myself to be attracted to you after everything that happened back then and after that. It's just a part of my life I want leave behind and stay as far away from as possible. I am sorry. I am really sorry!"
She nodded and meekly spoke. "I understand! Can I ask you for one thing?"
"Sure. Ask away!"
"Can I hug you for a while?"
I nodded. "Sure!"
She did so and cried her eyes out for almost an hour. When she stopped crying, she left. Without a word, just ran away.
As she was running away I felt it, or to be more precise I no longer felt it. That feeling that always stopped me from committing, that feeling that always stopped from speaking and acting just before things got serious. It was no longer there. I was free of the shackles that the original Victor put on me.
I returned to the meeting room where I found the three girls waiting for me. Rina and Yuki just ran up to me and hugged me without worries. As for Trish, she looked worried, very much worried. She was almost in tears. That was when Yuki spoke.
"Tell us! She is worried sick and we are curious."
I sighed. "She told me that she likes me. I apologized and told her that I can't be with her. What happened between us several years back made it pretty much impossible. I was mentally in a very dark place for a long time after that and did a lot of things that disgust me. Now that I managed to claw my way out, I can't bring myself to be with her even if I wanted, what I honestly don't. It's just not possible for me. She cried on my shoulder for some time after I explained everything and then she ran away."
As I spoke all worries on Trish's face disappeared and as I finished speaking, she ran up to me and hugged me with a radiant smile. The rest of us chuckled and as she heard us chuckling, she realized what she did. She jumped back blushing all over her face and neck. Seeing us just smiling at her and not being upset with her she sighed and spoke.
"Well, there is no point in hiding it, I am sure you already know anyway! I like you Vic!"
I nodded. "I knew! But there was something inside of me preventing me from doing anything about it. But that 'something' is now taken care of. So, it's time for me to do something I should have done long ago. "
I stepped back to stand in front of all three girls. They were looking at me confused not knowing what is about to happen. I took a deep breath, turned to Rina and spoke.
"I love you, Rina!" Before she could react, I turned to Yuki and spoke.
"I love you, Yuki!" Once again using the shock I turned to Trish and spoke.
"I love you, Trish!"
The moment I finished speaking all three of them jumped at me, making me fall down to the ground. I hugged all three together as they cuddled into me. Few seconds later all three of them spoke at once.
"I love you Vic!"
I looked down on them cuddling into me, smiling and not minding each other, seeing them like this and hearing they love me I smiled. After several minutes I spoke.
"We should make it official. Yuki and Rina, you will have to sign the papers and you Trish you should speak to your father, I will speak to mine. I am sure that they will handle the rest."
"Are you sure about this?" Asked Trish, surprise audible in her voice.
I smiled at her, patted her head gently as I spoke.
"Yes Trish. I am sure, I was never surer about something like I am about this!"
Tears of happiness appeared in her eyes as she pressed her head against my chest and spoke.
"OK, I will talk to my dad. I will ask him to speak with your father!"
Seeing her reaction both Yuki and Rina hugged her from the sides and spoke. Yuki spoke first.
"See, I told you it is going to be fine; you should have trusted me from the beginning."
Rina spoke after that.
"We both were encouraging you and telling you it is going to be fine! I hope you will trust us from now on!"
Yuki then turned to me with face filled with guild as she spoke.
"Vic, there is something I have to tell you. What happened today with Elizabeth was not a coincidence. Me and Rina made it happen!"
I smiled and responded.
"Thank you! You helped me a lot!"