—A literary battle of absurdity, ink, and unbridled narcissism.
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Part 1: A Biography Begins... Badly
The next morning in the Abandoned Sect, the Forbidden Library was smoldering gently. Tang Zhi was stuck inside a book. Mu Yao had somehow developed the ability to speak in metaphors, and Pan-Pan returned only because he ran out of snacks.
And then—
BOOM.
A ripple in the heavens.
Lightning cracked.
The sky unzipped itself like a badly tailored jacket.
From the fissure dropped… a man in a golden robe covered in ink stains, holding a massive quill and a scroll that stretched into the horizon.
His eyes were rings of spinning characters. His hair was tangled paper strips. His aura screamed "Editor-in-Chief of Reality."
"I am... Zhiwen the Chaptermaster. I write destinies. I edit timelines. I proofread prophecy."
Wei Yun, still in pajamas, scratched his head. "You take interns?"
Zhiwen floated down, unfurling his scroll.
"Your name… Wei Yun. Cultivation rank: Inverse Trash Tier. Occupation: Glorified janitor pretending to be a sect leader."
Mu Yao: "Sounds accurate."
Pan-Pan: "Do him next!"
Zhiwen ignored them.
"I have come… to begin your biography. The multiverse demands your story. So I shall write it."
He dramatically flourished his quill, summoned celestial ink, and wrote:
> Chapter One: The Glorious Death of Wei Yun
Wei Yun blinked. "Uh. Wrong timeline, chief."
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Part 2: The Author and the Inverse Daoist
Wei Yun snatched the scroll.
"Let me guess. You write fate, but it tends to kill people. That it?"
Zhiwen looked insulted. "Only sometimes. Statistically speaking."
Tang Zhi (from inside a book): "I think your math is cursed."
Wei Yun handed Zhiwen a banana.
Zhiwen stared.
"Is this a bribe?"
"No. It's breakfast. Then we rewrite fate, one typo at a time."
SYSTEM ALERT: YOU HAVE ENGAGED IN A NARRATIVE DUEL WITH A COSMIC SCRIBE.
> New Rule: Every spoken word affects fate.
First to say a contradiction explodes into poetry.
Pan-Pan: "...Did we just enter a freestyle battle with causality?"
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Part 3: The Duel of Written Realities
Zhiwen hovered above the library, scroll in one hand, quill in the other.
"I write: Wei Yun dies heroically, his sect collapses, and I gain a book deal."
The sky shimmered.
Wei Yun pointed dramatically.
"I counter-write: I trip, fall into enlightenment, and gain a Dao Title—Shameless Saint of Script Sabotage."
Suddenly, he glowed.
Zhiwen screamed, "That's not allowed!"
"I invent a new rule: Plot Armor Points are legal tender!"
He flung 500 PAP into the air. They glittered like divine Monopoly money.
Zhiwen snarled, his quill now a spear.
"You... violated genre boundaries!"
Mu Yao, eating popcorn: "He does that hourly."
Tang Zhi: "My pages are on fire. Again."
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Part 4: The Rewrite of Destiny
Lines of golden text clashed midair.
Zhiwen summoned an entire rewrite arc, trying to insert a childhood trauma subplot into Wei Yun's past.
Wei Yun dodged by yelling: "My tragic backstory is under NDA!"
Pan-Pan leapt in with a counter-scroll: "Cute Pet Sidekick Gains Heavenly Dao Recognition."
Suddenly, Pan-Pan wore a tiny crown.
"Behold! I am now a recognized Dao Companion!"
Zhiwen's scroll began to tear.
"No... You've broken narrative structure!"
Wei Yun raised his hands.
"Let it be known: I walk the Dao of Literary Rebellion. No editor, no outline, no rules!"
With that, he struck Zhiwen's scroll with a forbidden pen labeled "Rewrite Pending."
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Part 5: The Aftermath
The scroll exploded into a flock of literary pigeons.
Zhiwen crashed to the ground, dazed, quill smoking.
Wei Yun stood victorious, holding up his own freshly-written book:
> "How to Survive Being the MC When the Author Is Drunk."
Volume 1: Just Say No to Plot
Zhiwen groaned.
"You win this arc. But one day, the Author Supreme will notice you. And then…"
Wei Yun handed him a business card: Abandoned Sect – We Write Our Own Legends.
"Tell him to bring a pen."
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Part 6: System Reaction & Future Foreshadowing
> SYSTEM UPDATE: YOU HAVE REWRITTEN YOUR OWN DESTINY.
GAINED: TITLE - "Dao Defying Editor of Fate"
UNLOCKED: Hidden Realm of Unwritten Prose
NEW DISCIPLE PENDING: One literary disaster inbound…
Pan-Pan: "So what now?"
Wei Yun: "Now we build a Publishing Pavilion. If they want our story, they'll have to pay for the sequels."
Tang Zhi: "Do I get royalties?"
Mu Yao: "Only if you survive Chapter 36."
Everyone laughed.
Barry the Scroll groaned, "Oh no. They're going meta."
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End of Chapter 35