Her lips parted. "Ash?"
"You remember my name?" he blinked.
"You sat three rows behind me and dropped your pen like… six times a day."
"Ah." He coughed. "Yeah. That tracks."
Her shoulders shook a little — not from fear anymore, but from a laugh she was clearly trying to suppress.
"My name's Lana," she said.
"I know," he said too quickly. Then winced. "I mean — I read the class group chat roll call. Not a stalker. Just... wildly observant."
She smiled, just a bit, and his System pinged again.
[Target: Lana]
[System Rating: 7.3/10 — "Barely passable. Like microwave mac and cheese — not bad, but come on, dude."]
[Objective: Win her heart and body to unlock unique class skill: Charmbreaker + Epic Weapon: Velvet Fang]
Ash stared at the glowing system prompt floating in front of his face like some smug pop-up ad with too much personality.
The words hovered cheerfully as if it hadn't just lowkey insulted the first real girl he'd seen since the world went to hell.
"Seven point three?" he muttered under his breath, brow twitching. "Is that like… high C+ energy or am I just shallow?"
The system didn't even wait for him to finish his mental spiral.
[System: You need to raise your standards. This isn't high school. This is the apocalypse. Try aiming higher unless you're actively collecting starter pack girlfriends.]
He nearly choked. 'Starter pack? What the hell does that even —'
But then he glanced at Lana, who was still catching her breath, cheeks flushed, her back still slightly pressed against the tree.
Her long brown hair was a mess from running, her bright blue eyes darting around like a panicked bunny, and her chest was still, scientifically speaking, ridiculous.
She looked like a mess — but a very cute mess. Honestly, she could pass for an off-duty model if you tilted your head and ignored the dirt.
'You're seriously calling her a starter pack?' Ash hissed at the screen. 'Bro, she could walk into any modeling agency and they'd offer her a water commercial.'
[System: A 7.3 is nothing to sneeze at. You, on the other hand, are currently a 3.8 on the 'Survival Scale.' Focus.]
Before Ash could argue further, Lana looked up at him and shyly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You wouldn't mind if I stayed with you... right?"
He froze for half a second, taken off guard by the softness in her voice.
It was the kind of voice that made protective instincts kick in — even though, let's be real, he was also one bad decision away from dying to a pinecone out here.
"No problem," he said, quickly regaining composure. "We're offering full apocalypse packages. Includes housing, monster protection, and occasional bad jokes. All I ask in return is that you don't eat all my loot or stab me in my sleep."
She let out a small laugh, and it was like someone dropped a pebble into a pond.
That was the first time he'd heard someone laugh — genuinely laugh — since the world had gone full Hunger Games x Skyrim crossover.
Ash helped her stand.
She was wobbly, clearly exhausted from the whole being-chased-by-creeps-and-almost-dying situation.
Her hands clung lightly to his arm like it was a lifeline.
His inner system addict was screaming.
'7.3 or not, please let this be a reward moment.'
[System: Your chances of successful "conquest" increase by 2.4% with continued proximity and light physical contact. Please don't screw this up.]
"Gee, thanks for the encouragement," Ash muttered as he helped her over a root.
Lana blinked at him. "What?"
"Oh, nothing."
She gave him a look like she wasn't sure if he was kidding.
He just grinned. That usually worked.
They walked through the forest slowly, with Ash on high alert and Lana trying not to trip over every branch in sight.
She held onto his arm, occasionally glancing up at him like she wanted to say something but kept stopping herself.
"So…" Ash broke the silence. "That was a pretty intense welcome to the end of the world, huh?"
She gave a shaky laugh. "Yeah. I thought finals week was bad."
He snorted. "Trust me, I almost died in Torts class. This is just karma coming full circle."
The forest rustled in the distance, but it was nothing threatening.
Probably just a squirrel — or the reincarnation of someone who didn't make the System cut.
"Hey," Lana said softly. "Thanks for saving me."
Ash looked over, surprised. "I mean, technically, I was just passing by. You know, totally not stalking the girl I was staring at back in lecture hall or anything."
Her cheeks turned pink, and she looked down, fiddling with her fingers again. "You were staring?"
"…I mean respectfully staring. Academic curiosity."
She laughed again, and for a brief moment, the tension in the air eased.
[System: Emotional rapport increasing. Flirt level: Mild. Recommendation: Proceed with light teasing or a heartfelt moment.]
He rolled his eyes. 'You know, if you're going to narrate my life like a dating sim, at least give me a soundtrack.'
[System: Feature unlocked later. Earn three more flirt levels for 'Background Music: Sassy Strings Edition.']
Ash almost faceplanted.
After a few more minutes of awkward forest walking, he spotted a partially collapsed wooden shack up ahead.
It looked like it had been part of a park ranger station or something pre-apocalypse.
The roof was mostly intact, the door hanging by one hinge, and it smelled slightly less like doom than the rest of the forest.
"Okay, it's not a five-star hotel," he said. "But it's also not on fire or currently being eaten by a monster, so it's officially our base now."
Lana nodded, still close to him. "I'll take it."
Inside was dusty and dark, but after some effort, Ash managed to find an old lantern and a few long-rotted snacks in a drawer that looked more like fossils than food.
He looked over at her, noticing how small she looked curled up in the corner, hugging her knees. She was still shaking a little.
He grabbed his hoodie and tossed it to her.
"Here. It's probably sweaty, but you look like you need something to hold onto."
She gave him a grateful smile and pulled it around herself. "Thanks…"
Ash sat down across from her, resting his head against the wall.
His body was sore, and his hands were still stained with demon blood.
Somehow, in the span of a few hours, he'd gone from sleepy law student to demon-slaying bachelor in the most unhinged dating sim ever created.
[System: Congratulations. Target: Lana — Progress: 10%]
[New Skill Unlocked: 'Simp Detection' — Sense the presence of rival males with suspicious motives within a 30-meter radius.]
'…You've got to be kidding me.'