Chapter 12 – Yua's Diary: The One I Let Go
"People say you only regret what you didn't do. I say… you also regret the people you pushed away when they needed you most."
— From the pages of Yua's diary
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The sun peeked gently through the lace curtains of Yua's room, casting a soft golden glow across her polished desk. Her fingers curled slightly as they hovered above her leather-bound diary — a personal space where she allowed herself to be honest, unfiltered, and human.
She hesitated for a moment, her mind flooded with fragments of the past she had long tried to bury. Then, slowly, she opened to a fresh page and began to write.
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"March 19th
Today… I saw a version of Haruki that I thought had disappeared forever."
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Flashback – Middle School Days
There was a time when Haruki Takahashi was one of the most cheerful boys I knew. His laugh? Loud and infectious. His eyes? Always curious, always filled with dreams. He used to race me to the park after school, our satchels bouncing behind us like wings. We would lie under the cherry blossom trees and talk about everything — cartoons, space, life, even what we'd name our future pets.
I remember thinking he had the brightest soul. Not because he was loud or popular — but because he made people feel warm just by being around them.
But things changed. Suddenly. Violently.
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I didn't understand at first. He stopped showing up to the park. Stopped smiling. He'd sit alone in class, staring out the window, as if waiting for something that would never come.
Then I heard.
His parents… they died in a car accident.
No one ever told me directly. I overheard it in the staff room, my mom whispering it like it was a stain on a dress no one wanted to acknowledge.
And what did I do?
I did nothing.
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My mother told me to "focus on my goals," to "avoid emotional baggage," and that "poor boys will cling to you only because of your money."
I let her words infect me like a virus. I started believing that Haruki's silence was weakness. That his isolation was pathetic. That his change made him a loser.
So when he confessed to me… I rejected him.
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Not because I didn't care. But because I hated the version of him I saw — the version I helped create.
And now… years later… I saw him again.
But not the broken, fragile Haruki.
Today, I saw him — the boy I used to race through the park with. The boy with the twinkle in his eyes. The boy who used to laugh like the world couldn't hurt him.
And what shook me was this:
It wasn't me who brought him back.
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It was her.
Rinako.
The cheerful, chubby girl with cheeks that blush when she laughs, and a heart bigger than her appetite. She talks too much, eats too much, and smiles too brightly. But somehow… she brought him back.
She helped him stand.
She encouraged him.
She believed in him when I didn't.
And now… she walks beside him like a light I can't reach.
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Flashback – After the Presentation Project
I watched them laugh together during the lunch break. Haruki even shared his dessert — something he never did before. And when she teased him about becoming "cool," he blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, like the dorky old him I used to know.
And I just sat there. Staring at them. Thinking…
"That should've been me."
If I hadn't cut him off…
If I hadn't followed my mother's cold-hearted logic…
If I had just said, "I'm here," instead of, "You've changed…"
Would he still have broken?
Would he have still become the person he did?
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My mom was always clear:
"Love is a lie."
"You want to make it big? Cut off the emotions. Discipline, Yua. That's what separates stars from the common crowd."
I remember she looked me dead in the eyes and said,
"Friends only like you when you're rich. Lose the money, and see who stays."
And like a fool… I believed her.
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Today, in class, Haruki helped a struggling student without making a scene. Rinako brought extra food and quietly gave it to a shy girl who'd forgotten lunch. They didn't do it for attention.
They did it because they're good people.
I used to think being 'cool' meant being distant, mysterious, and emotionally unavailable. But I'm starting to see…
Cool isn't about being untouchable. It's about being kind when the world tells you not to be.
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I remember the day Haruki's parents died.
I could've called.
I could've sent a message.
I could've said, "I'm sorry."
But I chose silence.
And then I had the audacity to reject him for being… broken.
And now? Now I write this in secret, because I'm too much of a coward to say it out loud:
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"I regret it."
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Not because he's changing.
Not because he's happy with Rinako.
But because I wasn't there when he needed someone most.
Because I left a friend when he became inconvenient.
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And now… I sit in my clean room, in my big house, wearing clothes I didn't earn, following dreams that don't feel mine.
And I watch a boy I used to know…
Become a man I don't deserve.
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Cut to present:
Yua closes her diary slowly and places it in the drawer. Her reflection in the mirror watches her — the same perfect hair, perfect posture, and perfect smile.
But inside…
She isn't perfect.
Just a girl who let someone go.
And now wonders…
What if?( After rejection of him ,I have still chances)
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[To be continued…]