Alya's Side
Finally, that day came.
The real nightmare had truly arrived.
I didn't know what to do.
There was really nothing I could do, I could only pretend to be as calm as possible and act like everything was normal with what I was about to go through in a few moments,
because who am I anyway?
I can't stop her from chasing her dreams or ask her to keep hugging me like she usually does when I need her.
Ah, stupid.
Even now, I still can't confess this damn feeling.
I just can't.
Right now, my logic is spinning like a broken machine,
starting to think about weird things, I guess.
Back then, I hid my feelings because I was afraid she would leave me.
But look—what's happening now?
Even with all the effort and strength of mind and heart to hide it,
I still couldn't stop her from leaving.
She's leaving anyway.
And I'm sure she never knew how I felt.
But still,
why?
Why is she still leaving?
Why does everyone leave me when I need them the most?
Am I really going to end up completely alone?
Am I destined to be someone who was created just to be alone?
Ah, I don't know.
The nausea is starting again.
Now I'm alone in this room.
Trying to absorb every memory that ever happened here.
Maybe this place has witnessed many stories,
but it seems like mine is the saddest and most cowardly of all.
Ah, I don't know.
Isn't it true that when someone is in pain,
they can only feel their own suffering,
without knowing the pain that others around them might be feeling?
Gadis came home.
Ah, "home."
Yeah, "home."
Can't she make me her home,
the way I've made her mine—the most comfortable one?
I promise I'll be a comforting home for her too.
Can't it just be like that?
So she'll always come back to me?
She greeted me briefly as usual,
then rushed to the bathroom to clean herself up.
Ah, Gadis—always so clean, tidy, and meticulous.
After she was done and changed into her favorite oversized T-shirt,
she lay down on her bed.
Her face looked tired,
maybe from all the things she had to prepare today and the past few days.
Her suitcase stood neatly beside her sturdy bed.
Hesitantly, I decided to go over to her.
Then slowly lay down beside her.
Gadis, who had closed her eyes,
turned her face toward mine and stared at me closely.
We said nothing, just looked into each other's eyes—
her with her tired face,
me with my sad one.
We stayed silent for a long time.
As if gathering energy to start a conversation.
Or maybe we just wanted to spend time like this.
Trying to hold onto all the memories before distance truly separates us.
Ah—can't there be no such thing as "distance" between us?
Can't time just stop and let us stay like this forever?
But tonight, damn it—
tonight moved too fast.
Faster than usual.
I don't know how many times I cursed time for running so quickly,
never waiting for my heart to be ready,
even though I kept begging it to stop—just for a moment.
Tonight is the last night we can be together in this room.
Slowly, I felt Gadis hug me.
Ah, so warm and comforting.
My tears began to fall.
We didn't say anything.
That hug explained everything.
A goodbye hug.
A floating hug,
whose meaning I don't even know from her side.
But for me—
this hug meant everything.
And I didn't want it to end.
The next day, everyone had arrived at our boarding house.
Even her father, who had opposed Gadis going abroad to study, came.
Her brother and Anya were chatting seriously outside with Gadis.
Her flight wasn't until later that night,
but everyone had gathered since the afternoon.
"Thank you, dear Alya, for being with Gadis all this time,"
said Gadis's mother, who had been busy making sure everything was packed.
"I'm sorry if she was ever harsh or made you upset."
I shook my hand to show disagreement.
In the two years I lived with Gadis,
she was rarely harsh toward me.
Sometimes she could be annoying, sure,
but I'm sure I was more annoying than her.
By evening, all of her family had returned to their city.
Gadis refused to be taken to the airport.
"So tacky," she said.
"I'm going to college, not to war.
And anyway, we've got Androids now—we can still stay connected.
No need for all the send-off drama.
My flight's at midnight.
You guys will just get tired."
In the end, only me, Ujo, and Deva took her.
Ujo had insisted—he said he worked hard to borrow a car from a senior for tonight.
It would be a waste not to use it.
It made it hard for Gadis to say no.
It was almost midnight.
Her flight was at 1 a.m.
We'd been hanging out at one of the airport cafés, waiting for check-in time.
Deva and Ujo were reminiscing about their friendship with Gadis.
They promised to visit her later during the semester break.
"You wanna come too, kid?" Deva looked at me excitedly.
Then they started talking about travel plans and tourist spots.
Gadis just smiled at her two friends' excitement.
And I—
I just listened.
Occasionally stealing glances.
Then, it was time to check in.
Gadis quickly went to the boarding gate.
She hugged us one by one,
then started walking away.
But I couldn't say goodbye just like that.
It felt so unfair to me.
I pulled her to a quiet spot.
Deva and Ujo watched from afar, not following.
In that quiet hallway,
I cried while hugging her tightly.
Gadis tried to calm me down.
But my tears wouldn't stop.
No.
Not like this.
I couldn't hold my feelings back anymore.
Without thinking,
I leaned in close to her face—
and kissed her lips.
I didn't care what she was thinking.
Whether I did it or not, she was still leaving anyway.
Gadis pushed me away.
I didn't know what to say.
"I love you, Dis," I said,
then ran away from her.
I didn't want to hear whatever she was going to say.
Let it be.
Let this become a huge mistake.
I didn't care anymore.
I had lost my mind.
Gadis didn't chase me,
because she had to go inside for boarding.
And I—
I just kept walking.
Never looking back.
My legs began to weaken.
Deva and Ujo, who were ahead of me, took my hands and guided me.
They didn't know what had just happened.
They just thought I was really sad about being left alone.
They promised they would visit me every day.