"Hatake Sakumo, why the hell are you trolling me?!" Ren's voice boomed through the spacious square, rage practically flaring from his ears.
"I didn't mess with you. I did it for your own good," Sakumo replied flatly, his silver hair fluttering with the breeze, as though everything just now was a mere illusion.
"Oh yeah? You didn't mess with me? What if I had fallen and died, huh?"
"You wouldn't have died. Lord Danzō gave me a detailed report on your strength. I must say, seeing it in person is far more shocking than what he described. Your Wind Style talent is the highest I've ever seen."
"Hmph, thanks for the compliment." Ren folded his arms and lifted his chin, basking in the praise for a moment. But within seconds, his face darkened again, and his brows drew together in a stormy scowl.
"Don't think you can distract me with flattery, Hatake Sakumo. You were definitely trolling me just now!"
"Yeah," Sakumo admitted, deadpan. "I was messing with you."
"You—!"
"Alright, enough, Little Ren."
His voice suddenly dropped in temperature, carrying the icy authority of a squad leader. Ren fell silent instantly, pinned down by Sakumo's hawk-like glare.
"Anbu rules are clear. Every operative obeys orders without question. I tested your strength, that's it. Why? Planning to get kicked out in under an hour?"
Ren felt his heart tighten. That possibility terrified him. Anbu was the fastest path to power and prestige in Konoha. If he were kicked out for insubordination, Danzō would never give him another chance.
"Aiyaaa~ Handsome Squad Leader~ How could I ever disobey you? I'm your number one fan! Didn't you say missions are stacking up? Gimme one, fast!"
Sakumo snorted in amusement. He had already gotten used to Ren's shameless antics and didn't bother replying. Instead, he turned to the square and raised his voice.
"Everyone, gather up! We've received an urgent mission. The shinobi world is on the brink of war. Tensions are high, and Konoha is in danger. We must protect the village!"
He reached into his vest and pulled out a mission scroll. Slapping his palm against it with a resonating bang, a burst of smoke revealed a stack of smaller scrolls, laid out before the assembled operatives.
"Blood Demon Squad, Frozen Squad, Corpse Squad, step forward and receive your missions."
"Thunder Squad, Qiu Squad, Perception Unit, come collect yours."
As each squad came forward, the number of shinobi dwindled. When Sakumo was left with only one scroll, only four operatives remained in the square besides Ren.
"Hehe Squad, step forward."
…Hehe Squad?
Ren nearly choked on air.
What kind of idiot names their Anbu unit 'Hehe Squad'?
Turning his head in disbelief, Ren spotted the supposed leader—a man in his early thirties, with jet-black hair, stark white eyes, and clad in a traditional white kimono.
Of course. The Hyūga Clan. Isn't the Hyūga Clan supposed to be the epitome of dignity and tradition? Why is this guy running around calling himself 'Hehe'?!
In the Anbu, squad names are always tied to the team leader's codename. Which meant that this serious-looking Hyūga was known in the Anbu as… Hehe.
Ren practically felt his brain cramp.
The Hyūga approached Sakumo casually. The two exchanged a brief, familiar look. Sakumo gave his shoulder a friendly pat and handed over the scroll.
"Hyūga Sōgi, you'll be in charge of Shimura Ren."
"No problem, Captain Sakumo," Sōgi replied calmly.
"I've got other matters to attend to. I'm off." With a quick leap, Sakumo vanished in a flash of lightning, darting into the cliffside tunnel and disappearing from sight.
With the White Fang gone, Sōgi turned to Ren and offered a hand in greeting. "Nice to meet you. My name's Hyūga Sōgi, but in the Anbu, we use code names. You'll call me 'Captain Hehe.'"
As if on cue, the remaining squad members strode over to meet the new addition.
"I've heard a lot about you, Shimura Ren. Seeing you in person, you live up to the hype. I'm Matsushita Jirō, codename 'Second-Hand.'" The one speaking was around eighteen, bright-eyed, and clearly friendly.
"Hey Ren! I'm Hatake Fan, codename 'Fan Room.' That Wind Style technique you pulled off just now was insane! You were literally flying! Your chakra control is unreal. Not even Captain Hehe can pull that off!"
This one was older—mid-twenties—with a katana strapped to his hip and an energetic vibe. Definitely a kenjutsu specialist.
"Hmph. Doesn't matter how strong he is. Still just a Chūnin holding us back." The last one spoke with a sharp tone, walking up from behind with an expression that practically screamed perpetual scowl.
"I'm Uchiha Canon Fodder—call me 'Paper.' Don't think beating Fugaku is something special. Just because you embarrassed him doesn't mean you've earned the Uchiha's respect. And don't think we'll treat you as one of us so easily."
"Watch it, 'Paper.' This is Anbu, not some Uchiha clan pissing match," Second-Hand barked.
"Oh really? You want a repeat of what happened last time?" Paper snarled.
"Enough out of both of you!" Captain Hehe's voice boomed.
Before anyone could argue further, a wave of potent chakra surged from Sōgi. It thundered out like a pressure wave, instantly silencing both Uchiha Paper and Second-Hand Jirō. Only when the tension drained from their bodies did the chakra recede.
"Ren, welcome to the Hehe Squad. We deploy tomorrow. Tonight, I'm buying dinner. Consider this your welcome party. Any objections?"
"No," Second-Hand muttered.
"Good. What about you, Shimura Ren? Everything okay?"
He turned—but Ren wasn't listening.
At this moment, Ren had descended into his own private hell. He held his head in both hands, eyes wide with existential dread.
"One guy named 'Hehe,' another named 'Second-Hand,' then there's 'Fan Room,' and now we've got Uchiha Paper! What kind of messed-up joke is this?!"
He stared at the sky as if searching for answers from a higher power.
"I see myself, years from now, running beneath the sunset... and I realize—this is my lost youth…"