The front door creaked open as Nolan stepped inside, battle-worn but calm. The floor trembled slightly under the heavy footfalls that followed him.
Battle Beast stood in the doorway — tall, imposing, and still scarred from his brutal fight in space. His single eye roamed the house as if assessing a battlefield.
Mark was the first to speak. "Dad… what is he doing here?"
"He's family now," Nolan replied simply, closing the door behind them.
Mark's jaw slackened. "You adopted Battle Beast?!"
"I made a deal with him," Nolan said, walking into the living room. "One fight per year. In exchange, he lives here. Learns. Adapts."
"I do not adapt," Battle Beast growled, scanning the room filled with unfamiliar furniture, smells, and humans. "I conquer. But… I will try."
From the couch, Naruto blinked, mouth still stuffed with chips. "Wait, so now we got a space lion uncle?"
Sasuke crossed his arms. "He looks strong. Dangerous."
"He's both," Nolan confirmed. "But he's also loyal now. Just like you."
Debbie came in from the kitchen, towel in hand. She froze when she saw the hulking lion alien ducking into the room. "Nolan…"
"I know," Nolan said calmly. "It's a lot."
"A lot? You brought the intergalactic murder lion into our home!"
"He's not going to hurt anyone," Nolan reassured her. "Besides, I already told Cecil. He's fine with it. Shocked, but fine."
"Shocked? He almost fainted when you said you adopted him," Mark muttered, slumping into the chair.
Minato and Kakashi stood by the hallway, peeking around the corner.
"I've seen wild beasts before," Kakashi whispered. "But this guy? He's on a whole different level."
Battle Beast turned toward the younger shinobi. "You two. Do you fight?"
"...Sometimes," Minato said cautiously.
"Good. We'll spar later."
Minato lit up. "Yes!"
Debbie sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Great. Now I have five sons under the roof. And one of them could tear the house in half sneezing."
Battle Beast raised a claw. "I do not sneeze."
"…Sure," Debbie said, walking back toward the kitchen. "He can sleep in the basement with the others."
"I will sleep standing," Battle Beast said proudly. "Near a window. So I can watch the stars."
That Night
Dinner was surprisingly quiet. Battle Beast sat at the end of the table, poking at roasted chicken and vegetables like they were foreign objects.
"This meat is… cooked."
"Yeah," Naruto said between slurps of ramen. "We do that here."
"I prefer raw. But… this is acceptable."
Mark watched silently, still trying to process everything. Across from him, Sasuke and Itachi ate without saying much. Naruto smiled like this was just another day.
Nolan leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. "We're not a normal family. We never were. But this… this might be the strongest home on the planet."
Debbie raised a brow. "You mean that literally?"
"Yes," Nolan smirked. "And I like it that way."