Su Yu stood beneath the flickering, half-broken signboard of a dingy snack shop, his hands shoved deep into his pockets, gazing up at the sky with the melancholy air of a philosopher who'd just been evicted from his favorite cafe.
He leaned towards the shop owner, who was scratching his ample belly with casual disregard while surveying a mountain of bubble gum packets.
"Uncle," Su Yu inquired, adopting a tone of wounded intellectualism, "are there any banking institutions in this... vicinity?"
The shop owner squinted, looked around with the suspicion of someone guarding state secrets, then gestured vaguely down the street.
"New one just opened. Foreigners run it. All fancy. Rules a bit...flexible, but clean building."
Su Yu's lips curved into a sly, devilish grin. "Excellent," he murmured, straightening his secondhand blazer with a dramatic flourish, like a soap opera villain about to deliver a world-shattering monologue. "It's time to cook."
A gaggle of security guards lounged by the bank's entrance, idly sipping tea and engaging in gossip with the intensity of elderly women at a matchmaking session.
"Hey, did you hear about that Actor Yu?" one guard commented, chomping loudly on a samosa. "Absolute demon, that guy. Always knee-deep in scandals. That married actress—they found her with him in a hotel! Can you believe it?"
The other guard's eyes widened in theatrical horror. "Liu Fang?! My Liu Fang?! I've had a crush on her since I was riding a scooter!"
"Yeah," sighed the first guard, with the world-weary air of someone mourning a personal loss. "Love is dead. Justice is a lie."
"Enough," the third guard said calmly, arms crossed, sunglasses firmly in place. "Focus on duty, gentlemen, not the tragic romantic entanglements of people who earn more in a day than we do in a decade."
Just then, an unnatural shadow fell across them.
Not a cloud—it was Su Yu.
He sauntered down the street with the studied nonchalance of a recently returned overseas investor, clad in the ridiculously expensive (and likely borrowed) suit, his hair slicked back with an excessive amount of hair oil (he'd decided gel was too pedestrian), and his eyes gleaming with a disconcerting mixture of confidence and sleep deprivation.
The guards snapped to attention as if electrocuted, all traces of gossip instantly banished. They assumed formation like freshly recruited cadets saluting a five-star general.
"Sir! Good morning, sir!"
"Welcome to our humble establishment, honored guest!"
"Wealthy person alert!" one guard muttered under his breath, his eyes glittering with a mixture of awe and profound confusion.
Su Yu offered a regal nod, as if acknowledging the enthusiastic greeting of his loyal subjects. "Mmm."
As he glided through the gleaming doors, his scuffed shoes reflected perfectly in the polished marble, undermining his carefully cultivated image of opulence.
Inside, conversations ceased abruptly.
Bank customers paused mid-transaction, staring.
And a group of suspiciously well-dressed young women fluttered their eyelashes in a manner that suggested a sophisticated predatory instinct, only to be yanked back into line by their frowning husbands or sugar daddies.
Su Yu strode purposefully towards the front desk, where the elegant receptionist blinked in mild bewilderment at his dramatic entrance.
With the casual air of someone who possessed absolute faith in his own elaborate fiction, he placed a slightly crumpled, but undeniably impressive, career certificate on the counter. The very same certificate he'd acquired from that questionable back-alley vendor, mere minutes after fending off a surprisingly amorous woman with a penchant for theft.
"I wish to apply for a loan," he announced, projecting an aura of effortless authority. "One million yen."
The receptionist blinked slowly, then delicately picked up the paper as if it might spontaneously combust.
"P-Please wait just a moment, sir! I will summon the appropriate personnel immediately!"
Inside the Bank Manager's Office,
The bank manager, a soft-featured man with a carefully sculpted ponytail and an air of gentle bewilderment, was in the midst of a heartfelt phone call with his daughter.
"Yes, my little kumquat, Daddy made a very wise investment in cryptocurrency this time. These coins? They have a dog on them. Extremely reliable."
Suddenly, the receptionist burst through the door, nearly giving the manager a coronary.
"Sir! I believe we have a highly... influential client! Tremendously refined. And he possesses... certificates!"
That was all it took.
Moments later, Su Yu was comfortably ensconced in a plush leather office chair, sipping imported coffee from a delicate porcelain cup, and regarding the increasingly flustered bank manager with an expression of vaguely amused CEO-level boredom.
The manager didn't even bother to question the authenticity of the "Harverd Unibersity" degree. Who needed pesky details like verification when the client exuded such an aura of impeccable financial integrity?
Loan approved within minutes.
Documents signed with a casual flourish.
Aromatic coffee offered, refilled, and offered again.
Sincere smiles exchanged.
A platinum-level credit card discreetly slipped into Su Yu's pocket.
"If there is anything else we can assist you with, esteemed client, please do not hesitate to grace us with your presence again," the manager gushed, practically beaming.
Su Yu offered a slight, perfunctory bow and exited the office with the unnerving calm only a man who was deeply in debt to a foreign bank could possibly possess.
(Internal Monologue):
"Excellent. With this, I can afford to upgrade from a haunted room to one with both ghosts and windows. Progress."
After carefully stashing the bank's generously-extended loan in his surprisingly deep pockets, Su Yu paused in the shadow of a nearby commercial building, gazing up at its imposing height with the focused intensity of someone about to attempt a daring heist... of office space.
He ran through his mental checklist, carefully crafting his grand plan:
"Step one: secure a suitable headquarters befitting my inevitable rise to power. Step two: employ carefully constructed, strategically-placed lies to achieve my goals. Step three: total global economic domination. Or... failing that, at least gain access to free, industrial-strength air conditioning."
The security guards flanking the building's entrance initially eyed him with the wary suspicion of seasoned tax auditors... until Su Yu's freshly-polished shoes and calculated CEO aura kicked in. The lead guard, visibly awed, instinctively snapped into a crisp salute, as if welcoming the long-lost scion of a powerful dynasty.
"Please, enter, Your Excellency," they chorused in unison.
Su Yu nodded with an air of granting divine favor, and strolled confidently through the revolving doors.
Inside the Company Reception Area,
The receptionist, a woman constructed entirely from sharp angles and ruthless efficiency, gazed at him impassively from behind a minimalist, futuristic desk. Her expression never wavered, as if her face had been surgically removed.
"Do you have a pre-arranged audience with a member of our executive staff?" she inquired, her voice devoid of inflection. She seemed completely unmoved by the fact that she was currently facing a man who looked like he'd stepped out of a shampoo commercial, dripping with (probably stolen) luxury.
"Appointment? Negative," Su Yu responded smoothly, oozing an unearned air of importance. "However, I do possess significant financial capital."
The receptionist didn't even blink. Her face remained a perfect mask of disinterest, as if powerful men declaring "money is my appointment" was a daily occurrence.
"Please remain here briefly," she stated, with the intonation of a robot reciting technical specifications.
Click-click-clack. Her fingers danced across the keyboard with the speed and dexterity of a seasoned hacker in a high-stakes action movie.
A moment later, she gestured towards a nearby elevator.
"The Director awaits your presence on the designated upper level."
Su Yu stepped into a mahogany-paneled office where a slightly balding, intensely smug middle-aged man was reclining in an excessively large leather chair, giving off the vague impression of a supervillain who had traded in world domination for property management.
"So," the man grinned, revealing teeth that had clearly benefitted from an extensive whitening regime. "You're the gentleman with the... generous resources. And you wish to purchase a floor?"
Su Yu nodded confidently, radiating self-assurance that bordered on delusion. "Affirmative. Specifically, I am interested in acquiring the...second floor."
At this, the Director nearly choked on his meticulously brewed green tea.
"The... second floor? You do realize you're referring to the government-mandated storage zone? The Graveyard of Forgotten Files? That floor's so dusty, it qualifies as a protected historical site!"
He chuckled, shaking his head in bewildered amusement. "We usually let people use that place for free. It's essentially a glorified trash repository. But hey, you're obviously wealthy, and I'm not about to let a golden opportunity slip through my fingers!"
He slammed a surprisingly thick folder onto the mahogany desk.
"Ten thousand yen a month! Non-negotiable! And you handle all renovations, exterminations, and potential exorcisms yourself!" He leaned back, looking immensely pleased with his shrewd bargaining.
"Deal," Su Yu replied instantly, peeling off the crisp bills from his newly acquired loan and placing them on the desk with the casual air of someone buying a pack of gum.
The Director blinked, his smug expression faltering.
"Wait... that was... suspiciously fast. Did I lowball it? Should've asked for twenty thousand! Maybe fifty! Damn this handsome face, it's distracting!"
But the ink was already drying. Paperwork, bearing the glorious fake credentials of "Dr. Su Yu – Esteemed Master of Business Dynamics, Quantum Engineering, and Advanced Hair Oil Application," was signed with swift efficiency. Su Yu now officially leased the most undesirable floor in the building.
Su Yu arrived at his newly acquired domain. The heavy door groaned open, protesting its disturbance after years of neglect, revealing... mountains. Not of treasure, but of paper.
Ancient ledgers, yellowed invoices dating back to the previous century, tax records from companies that had long since dissolved into bureaucratic dust, binders overflowing with forgotten TPS reports, and even a petrified, skeletal potted plant that looked suspiciously like it died sometime during the early 2000s. Dust motes danced in the dim light like the spectral remnants of failed business ventures.
Yet, Su Yu surveyed the chaos not with dismay, but with a burgeoning smile. This desolate wasteland of forgotten documents? This was his kingdom now.
He strode back to the elevator, descended, and located the building's cleaning crew huddled in the basement. With the magnanimity of a modern emperor bestowing favor upon his subjects, he tossed a thick wad of yen towards them.
"Cleanse the second floor," he commanded, his voice echoing slightly in the stairwell. "Make it habitable. Eradicate the scent of printer toner and existential despair."
The cleaning team stared at the unexpected windfall, then at each other, then back at Su Yu. They collectively snapped into a salute, their eyes gleaming with newfound purpose (and the promise of overtime pay). Armed with industrial vacuum cleaners, face masks, mops, and possibly a vial of holy water pilfered from somewhere, they charged towards the second floor like knights embarking on a holy crusade against dust bunnies.
Meanwhile, down below, employees from other, more legitimate companies peered curiously from their pristine office windows.
"Who is that ridiculously handsome guy?"
"New tenant, I think. Some big shot."
"I heard he actually bought the second floor. The Floor of Doom!"
"Completely insane."
"Disturbingly attractive, though."
Su Yu strolled out of the building's main entrance, hands clasped behind his back, radiating the serene confidence of a man who had just conquered a fortress constructed entirely of abandoned tax forms.
(Inner Monologue):
"Excellent. Phase one complete: headquarters secured. Bank account established, albeit temporarily funded by their own money. Fake degree obtained. A million yen loan acquired. And now, my very own floor, strategically positioned above my potential rivals.
Now... for Phase two: assembling a team. Preferably one that is young, malleable, desperate, and willing to work for 'experience'... which means hunting students."
Sometimes later In A Depressingly Average College ,
Within the hallowed, yet slightly crumbling, halls of a local college where even the campus pigeons seemed to exude an aura of underemployment, the headmaster stood before his assembled faculty, his expression grim.
"Colleagues!" he barked, slamming a fist onto his desk for emphasis, rattling a collection of cheap trophies. "Our graduate employment rate is abysmal! It's so low, jobless alumni are practically haunting the campus cafeteria, begging for leftover noodles!"
A weary-looking teacher tentatively raised a hand. "Sir... perhaps we could consider... investing in better educational resources? Or career counseling?"
The headmaster stared at the teacher for a long moment, as if he'd just suggested teaching squirrels to recite Shakespeare.
Then he chuckled darkly.
"Nonsense! Much simpler solution: we partner with a company—any company, preferably a new, obscure one—and 'place' our students there! They get 'internships,' the company gets free labor, and our employment statistics magically improve! It's win-win-win!"
A smattering of applause broke out, mostly from faculty members eager to get back to their lunch break. Morality quietly excused itself and went to lie down in a dark corner.
One teacher muttered to another, "Let's just palm off the current graduating batch... you know, the ones who haven't completely succumbed to despair yet."
At School gate,
Amidst a sad tableau of half-deflated balloons, dubious-looking street food stalls, and listless students attempting forced fun, a large, slightly rusty TRUCK screeched to an improbable halt right outside the main school gate, drawing curious glances.
Out stepped Su Yu.
He looked sharp. Impeccably dressed (in his single expensive suit), hair perfectly oiled, radiating an aura of success that clashed violently with the general atmosphere of academic mediocrity. Too sharp, perhaps, for a man whose recent financial activities involved questionable back-alley deals and exploiting the naivety of bank managers.
He approached the bored-looking gatekeeper with the purposeful stride of a general arriving to inspect his troops.
"I am here," Su Yu announced clearly, "to recruit promising candidates."
The gatekeeper, utterly unfazed by this dramatic declaration (he'd likely seen stranger things during orientation week), merely held out a hand expectantly. "Business registration and recruitment permit?"
Su Yu coolly produced a folded napkin upon which he had hastily scribbled some impressive-sounding, completely fictitious corporate jargon earlier that morning.
The guard glanced at it, shrugged, and stamped it with unnecessary force. "Permission to 'hunt' granted," he declared, handing Su Yu a brightly colored plastic toy gun.
"Standard recruitment issue," he explained nonchalantly. "Non-lethal. Fires soft, colored foam pellets. Aim true."
Su Yu accepted the toy gun, saluted smartly.
"Understood. Target acquisition protocols initiated."
Inside the School Grounds,
He moved through the festival grounds with the stealth and determination of a budget James Bond—ducking behind inflatable mascots, lurking near stalls selling questionable anime merchandise.
His first target: a shy-looking girl sitting alone under a weeping willow tree, blushing furiously while engrossed in a novel titled "My Contract Marriage to the Cold-Hearted Billionaire Duke!"
Pew!
A bright pink foam pellet bounced harmlessly off her notebook.
"You!" Su Yu declared, stepping out from behind the tree. "Your deep understanding of complex emotional narratives indicates potential! You're hired for creative development!"
The girl shrieked, dropping her book. "What the actual hell?!"
Next, he spotted a young man hunched over his phone, fingers flying, completely absorbed in a mobile game.
Pew!
The pellet struck his shoulder.
"Excellent hand-eye coordination and strategic thinking!" Su Yu announced. "Perfect for optimizing user engagement metrics! You're hired!"
"Dude! I was just about to rank up!" the gamer protested, looking utterly bewildered.
Then: a pale programmer type, nearly asleep at a table littered with empty energy drink cans.
Pew!
"Your ability to function on minimal sleep demonstrates dedication! Ideal for back-end development and nocturnal debugging! Hired!"
He systematically 'tagged' twenty students—a diverse collection of introverts, bewildered extroverts, aspiring artists, and suspiciously quiet individuals who might have been contemplating dropping out anyway. It was less a recruitment drive, more a chaotic, brightly-colored game of HR tag.
(Scene: The Principal's Office – The Sacred Return)
Su Yu strode back into the headmaster's office like a triumphant hunter returning from a successful digital safari.
He placed the pink toy gun ceremoniously on the headmaster's desk.
"Targets acquired," he reported succinctly. "Twenty head."
The headmaster stared at the toy gun, then at Su Yu, then back at the gun. A slow smile spread across his face.
"...Remarkable efficiency."
Back at the Truck,
Twenty bewildered students sat crammed inside the back of the slightly dilapidated truck, jostling for space, exchanging confused glances, and radiating an aura of collective 'what just happened?'.
The shy girl from under the tree, arms crossed tightly, glared daggers at Su Yu, who was now comfortably seated in the passenger seat.
"You could have just asked us, you know! Like a normal person!"
Su Yu, adjusting his sunglasses (which he'd likely acquired from a lost-and-found bin), remained utterly unperturbed.
"Efficiency is key," he stated coolly. "Besides, I prefer to recruit based on raw potential and gut instinct. Formal interviews are tedious."
He gave the equally bewildered driver a curt nod.
"Proceed to headquarters."
As the truck rumbled away from the curb, the entire school faculty seemed to wave farewell from the gates, looking immensely relieved, as if they'd just successfully auctioned off a burdensome surplus of slightly used kitchen appliances.
The headmaster watched the truck disappear down the road, discreetly wiping away a non-existent tear of joy.
"Our graduate employment rate..." he announced proudly to his colleagues, "...has just miraculously increased by a full twenty percent! Bonuses for everyone!"
(Scene: The "Office" – Floor of Forgotten Documents)
The ancient, rusty elevator groaned its way up to the second floor, the doors shuddering open to reveal the vast expanse of their new workplace—once a neglected storage zone, now theoretically an office space, though still resembling the tomb of a thousand dead filing cabinets, haunted by the ghosts of interns past.
Su Yu stepped out first, striking a dramatic pose, like a lone warrior surveying his conquered battlefield.
The twenty students stumbled out behind him, coughing on disturbed dust particles, their expressions ranging from confusion to mild panic to the dawning horror of realizing they might have accidentally joined a cult.
Su Yu stood amidst the towering stacks of paper and derelict office furniture, hands clasped behind his back, eyes half-closed in contemplation.
He sighed deeply, a sound laden with profound (and entirely fabricated) wisdom.
(Su Yu's Internal Monologue):
"Truly... no one on this earth is willing to perform such arduous labor... for such negligible compensation... quite like desperate students."
A moment of awkward silence hung in the dusty air.
Then, he spun around, his eyes gleaming with a manic, delusional determination.
Su Yu (adopting an inspirational, booming tone):
"Listen up, my brave, newly-acquired interns! I am Su Yu—your visionary leader, your benevolent employer, and your purveyor of semi-legitimate career opportunities!"
The shy girl visibly rolled her eyes.
Su Yu continued, sweeping his arms wide, encompassing the chaotic mess around them:
Su Yu:
"Our shared dream is magnificent! We envision a future teeming with groundbreaking gaming companies, revolutionary entertainment empires, viral meme industries, and perhaps even slightly overpriced NFTs featuring cartoon ducks! We shall forge legends! Become titans of digital creativity! We will be the undisputed kings of low initial investment yielding inexplicably high returns!"
The gamer student muttered under his breath, loud enough to be heard, "Yeah, but what's the actual salary?"
Su Yu pointed at him dramatically, as if bestowing a sacred honor.
"The invaluable currency of experience! And, naturally, complimentary access to our high-speed Wi-Fi network... once I figure out how to get it installed."
Another student whispered nervously to the person next to them, "...I have a growing suspicion we've been subtly kidnapped."
Su Yu chose to ignore this inconvenient observation.
Su Yu (clapping his hands together sharply):
"Now! Our first monumental step towards achieving greatness: transforming this... environment! Clean this glorious mess! Assemble these... structural components into functional workstations! Remove any deceased rodents with dignity! This, my friends, is not merely an office—it is your temple of aspirations!"
The students exchanged bewildered glances. One tentatively picked up a document clearly labeled "Internal Memo - Fiscal Year 2002." Another experimentally lifted a detached chair leg, unsure of its purpose.
The shy girl asked flatly, her voice cutting through the inspirational rhetoric, "Excuse me, Chief Su? Where's the restroom?"
Su Yu grinned, a predatory gleam in his eyes.
"Ah, an excellent question demonstrating initiative! It's located one floor below. Within the territory of a rival company. Go forth, be brave, and conquer it with unwavering dignity... and try not to get caught."
After several hours of chaotic, student-driven 'renovation'—which mostly involved pushing paper mountains into slightly neater paper mountains and debating whether a particularly large cobweb qualified as 'vintage decor'—the floor achieved a state that could generously be described as 'semi-functional.' Broken chairs were declared 'avant-garde ergonomic seating,' and mismatched filing cabinets were strategically stacked to vaguely resemble cubicle walls.
Su Yu ascended a precarious stack of ancient phone books, assuming the air of a president addressing his nation from a makeshift podium.
He cleared his throat meaningfully.
Su Yu:
"From this auspicious moment forward… this floor, this burgeoning enterprise, this collection of bright minds fueled by ramen and hope… shall henceforth be known as—"
A dramatic pause ensued, slightly undermined by a student in the back erupting into a fit of sneezes triggered by the disturbed dust.
Su Yu (raising a hand majestically):
"—HSE Limited!"
A wave of slow, uncertain clapping rippled through the assembled students. The gamer student mumbled, "Uh, what's HSE stand for, Boss?"
Su Yu smiled gently, radiating the benign aura of a particularly convincing con artist.
Su Yu (adopting an innocent tone):
"Oh… just a name. HSE. Sounds sophisticated, doesn't it? Professional. Has a nice, international ring to it, wouldn't you agree?"
He turned away slightly, a mischievous glint in his eyes, visible only to the dust motes.
(In his mind):
"Heavenly Scams Entertainment Limited… Perfect. Subtle, yet accurate. A name so audacious, no tax investigator would ever dare question its legitimacy."
Meanwhile, the shy girl had managed to locate a dusty, ancient laptop that looked like it might run on coal power. She tentatively booted it up.
Shy Girl:
"Chief Su... shouldn't we, like, officially register the company? File paperwork or something?"
Su Yu (without turning around, gazing out at his kingdom of paper):
"My dear intern, I possess expertly forged documents procured from a highly disreputable, yet efficient, source in a back alley. As far as the world needs to know, we are as official as the rising sun, as legitimate as destiny itself."
The students exchanged another round of confused, slightly terrified, yet strangely intrigued glances. The absurdity of the situation was beginning to border on motivational.
Su Yu (striking a final dramatic pose):
"From this hallowed ground, we shall rise! With untested courage in our hearts, blatant falsehoods in our official documents, and ambitious dreams that smell only faintly... of mold!"