The next morning, Xiao woke up, stretched, and made the universe flinch again.
Outside his window, birds chirped the imperial anthem—one got the notes wrong and instantly combusted.
Xiao yawned. "Today feels like a good day… to ruin some old people's lives."
He teleported straight to the Sacred Academy of Star-Blessed Talents, the most prestigious cultivation school in the galaxy, where arrogant young masters and even more arrogant old geezers were forged like toilet paper during a flood.
He landed in the central plaza.
No announcement.
No ceremony.
Just bam—there he was, standing with bed-hair and murder-eyes.
The headmaster, a man with a beard shaped like the Milky Way, ran over while screaming.
"Who dares—wait. WAIT. IT'S HIM. IT'S THE BLOODSTAINED PRINCE."
Half the faculty fainted.
The rest wet themselves.
Xiao casually walked forward and kicked open the gate to the inner sanctum.
Inside, a thousand young geniuses sat cross-legged, cultivating in silence. Until—
BOOM.
The doors slammed open.
"What's up, little trashlings?" Xiao grinned. "Who wants to be my servant?"
Silence.
Then one brave idiot—perfect hair, glowing robes, the signature nose of an entitled brat—stood up.
"You dare disturb our cultivation, peasant?"
Xiao raised an eyebrow. "Peasant?"
The woman beside him—Lady Flame Veil—appeared behind the boy like a ghost of violence.
She smiled politely.
"His Highness is the Supreme Imperial Authority, your cosmic landlord, the definition of plot armor. Apologize."
The boy scoffed.
"I don't care if he's the Emperor's dog—"
Before he could finish, Xiao snapped his fingers.
A giant golden sandal appeared in the sky.
It glowed with divine energy.
Then descended at lightspeed.
SLAP!
The boy was pancaked into the sacred floor, face first. His teeth flew out and formed a constellation.
The other students began sweating Aether.
Xiao chuckled. "I call it… Heavenly Slipper Technique: Disrespect Eradication Form. Anyone else got opinions?"
Another genius stood up, trembling. "I… I support you, Your Highness!"
"Too slow."
FWOOSH.
He was set on fire.
"For enthusiasm delay," Xiao explained. "Next."
A girl stepped up. "I—I baked you cookies…"
Xiao blinked. "Huh. You're not entirely dumb."
Then she added, "To poison you and take your core."
Xiao smiled wider.
"Ah. A classic."
The floor opened beneath her. She fell into the Pit of Eternal Regret, where thousands of betrayals were punished daily by slap-spirits.
Lady Flame Veil nodded. "Very nostalgic."
---
Suddenly, from above, a voice boomed:
"XIAO! HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE ACADEMY!"
An elder floated down, his aura massive, beard flowing like sentient fog.
"I am Grand Elder Bong-Tzu! And I shall discipline you with my 9000 years of refined—"
PAK.
A sandal hit him too.
From orbit.
Everyone gasped.
Xiao pointed to the sky.
"That was the Orbital Chancla II: Elder Punishment Variant. I had it specially made."
Lady Flame Veil giggled. "Next model comes with sarcasm sensors."
---
By sunset, the academy's top students had become janitors, the janitors had been promoted to elders, and the elders were being used as chairs.
Xiao sat in a throne made from broken pride.
He sipped tea.
"I like this school," he said. "Let's rename it."
Lady Flame Veil raised a brow. "To what, Your Highness?"
He smirked.
"Xiao's Cultivation Kindergarten for Morons Who Think They're Better Than Me."
A pause.
Then—
A scream echoed across the cosmos.
One thousand sect elders simultaneously died from heart attacks.
And somewhere in a distant void, a dragon sneezed and accidentally vaporized its own mountain.
Face-slaps were eternal.
And Xiao?
He was just getting started.